...but she won't ask. yin yu is choosing to rely on her, and that's no small thing. she has his reasons, and she trusts in him, so she'll trust in whatever those reasons are.
and it's a good thing, that he's concerned with looking out for someone else. lili has been such a support to many other people here - she deserves to have someone support her, in turn, and flayn is glad that she has yin yu thinking of her.]
...is there anything in particular I should be looking out for, as I am near her?
[ that response is confirmation enough. flayn is one of only two people that knows his power, after all. he shifts, looking away from her.
the delivery of the facts is quiet and calm. ] Lady Lili suspected that the distraction at the trial was caused by myself - that I had tied her, Ash and Ookurikara together, in some combination. She knew that it would be a way to derail the trial, because she has a loud presence, and she was certainly right in that regard. Therefore, she thought that I had participated in the killings this week, and was using my power to throw attention off of myself and stop the proceedings.
She approached me almost immediately after, and asked if I would bond myself to her to prove that I hadn't used it.
[ he gives a little shrug of his shoulders. ] So, I did. I did not kill anyone, of course, and today marks the first time that I have used my power at all.
[some part of flayn had wondered if, perhaps, he had tied the three of them together for some unrelated reason prior to the trial - she can't claim to know everything that he gets up to, or every plan that lili has. she would have believed it if it had been something they'd come up with together, only for it to backfire when someone had targeted a single one of them - likely lili herself - and the effect had spread to all three.
but she had never, even for a moment, wondered if yin yu was involved in the killings. it hurts a little, to think that lili might have suspected him.]
i mean! flayn's belief in him is pretty touching, but. he gives her a small, self-deprecating smile. it doesn't reach his eyes. ] ...Lady Flayn, you saw what happened in the heavens. You are not the only one who did, this week.
[ you should know better, he thinks, looking away again, the rise of guilt in his stomach so familiar he's able to push it down only by habit. i know the kind of person that i am.
yin yu has had a very bad week. ] It was entirely plausible, and I am glad to know that if something were to happen, I would be subject to the same suspicion as anyone else.
[it's completely implausible, she wants to say. if yin yu had been under suspicion during the trial, flayn likely would have leapt to his defense immediately.
(which, ultimately, might not have helped matters at all. beau leaping to nie huaisang's defense had not, in the end.)
she presses her lips together into a thin line, though. she doesn't want to argue with him, and if saying something she believes is true (and she does believe it, no matter what she saw in his memory) put that look on his face, then maybe she just needs to stop talking.]
...well, I am glad that you seem to have been cleared of it.
It would have been a terrible reason to be sent off as an innocent man, I think.
[ ha ha... ha. that's a little dark, but it's true. their track record isn't exactly great. it's not that he doesn't think he deserves such a thing for other reasons, and it certainly wouldn't be the end of the world for their overall mission, but, nevertheless. ] Luckily, it was easy to dispel such a worry, and I am glad that she waited until after.
[ because it's not like he really would've been able to explain it in front of everyone else, either. ] ...Lady Lili was quite upset, so I wanted to assuage the fear as quickly as possible, too. If I had the choice, I wouldn't have done it.
[ he's made it clear to flayn, that he's not interested in using his power when it's not necessary. but... here they are. ]
just the thought of it - of yin yu, facing down an executioner, weighing whether or not to fight for his life and risk killing someone who might also be innocent, or to go off to death after having received a majority vote - fills her with a fear so intense that she nearly stops breathing.
she doesn't want that. not ever.
she swallows hard. gods, but he doesn't need to deal with her fears on top of everything else.]
[ that doesn't go unnoticed; yin yu feels the guilt from making flayn worry. (and now we know it's unnecessary! britt i rly wanted it.) he looks down at her, brow creasing with worry, a fluttering of guilt and anxiety rising in his stomach. the last thing he wants is for her to be upset. ]
...Lady Flayn, it's all finished. And if something were to happen tomorrow, I would be able to handle it well. [ he says, softly, by way of trying for comfort. at least in terms of that. it's over, he's not in danger. yin yu was able to nip it in the bud, and capably, would have the ability to do so whenever. ...though, if it were to happen, he would fight back--but ultimately, a retroactive punishment for a crime once committed is all a person like him would deserve.
yin yu's not sure what to do, how to comfort her. he's bad at this, and there's the urge to reach out - to do something. to hug her, to hold her hand, to do anything to get that look off of flayn's face. lili's emotions keep sneaking through too, a rising tide of surprise, and then suddenly, an uncomfortable flood of love that he has no idea how to deal with. he can put the lid on most things, but it makes dealing with this current situation--makes looking at the girl beside him-- even more difficult.
(it's maybe not so unfamiliar a feeling. not now. not recently.
hm.)
his hand lifts in the air, but ultimately hovers a bit, unsure. ]
[but knowing how capable he is - knowing that he likely could overpower nie huaisang in an instant, if he needed to - makes her no less worried. this place has thrown trouble after trouble at all of them, and she'll really only trust that the people she cares about will be safe once this is over.]
But, I...
[she worries.
she doesn't know how to stop worrying, when all she wants is to see him safely away from this nightmare of a camp.]
[ alright. the feeling of lili's incessant emotions knocking on the door of his self control is starting to get overwhelming. combining that with flayn being upset, and worried, for his sake, of all things --
yin yu is inevitably still a coward, and inevitably still a cat that needs to be coaxed into almost anything. he still keeps himself too guarded, tends to run at the best of moments. but over the past few weeks, he's been coaxed little by little out of his shell by this person, learned to try to reach out just a little more.
and if he's the reason she's so worried, it's just-
yin yu shifts, a little, his hand still hovering, before he quietly turns his shoulder to the side, letting her into his space. his arm's behind her, and... after a moment's hesitation, it falls gently on her shoulders.]
[she'll feel a little guilty, later, if she realizes that he's spurred into action by what lili is feeling. like she's taking advantage of it, somehow, if she's partly responsible for her feeling it - although flayn is reasonably certain she had those sorts of feelings for ookurikara already.
but if they're more intense than they would have otherwise been, more noticeable, and yin yu is only holding her because of it—
for now, she doesn't seem to realize it. she looks up, shocked, as he puts her arm around her shoulders, but after a moment the tension bleeds out of her, and she leans into him.
...it's a little easier, like this - not to banish her fear of what might happen to him tomorrow, but to keep it at bay.]
[ he almost immediately tenses when flayn looks up at him, ready to flinch back immediately and apologize, profusely, then run the opposite direction and never talk to her again (no) (maybe) but when flayn relaxes, he slowly does, too. it's not as much: yin yu is a stupid boy and therefore, stupid.
however, when she leans in, he does exhale, and gives a tiny squeeze. his ears are scarlet red, cheeks pink, but he doesn't run away. later on, he too will realize that these emotions are partially because of lili, which means that lili will be experiencing what he is right now, which means in a few hours he's going to want to grab the earth master's shovel and dig a hole straight back to ancient fantasy china, but for now, he's just embarrassed and also overwhelmed. ]
...I am sorry for worrying you. [ he says, eventually, looking down at the counter in front of them. at least his voice doesn't crack. ]
[it feels... nice, to have his arm around her. warm. her cheeks flush faintly, but with his gaze on the counter, maybe he won't notice. she hopes he doesn't notice, because by now she knows that if he feels like he's making her uncomfortable, he'll attempt to leave in an instant, and she doesn't want that.
(she'll think about why that might be later.)]
I have worried you quite frequently since we arrived, I believe.
[ it's getting worse? it's getting worse. what in the fresh hells is lili doing right now? actually, he doesn't want to know. he really, really, really does not want to know. forget gray hairs! this is something else entirely.
it is only his own strength and three hundred years of being extremely, extremely repressed that keeps yin yu from reacting outwardly. inwardly, he's mortified, and the force at which he is trying to jam that feeling into a box in his brain is impressive. flayn's pressed close to his side like this, her body warm against his side gods she's wearing his robe -
ok. he closes his eyes, briefly, now basically stuck because he doesn't want to let go and upset flayn (she's looking a little better now) even if he also wants to run the other direction. cheeks turning a little redder, he tries to focus on maintaining his usual level of emotional control instead of dealing with being loaded with the emotions of a teenager. ]
...you have. [ he says. none of that emotion comes through in his voice--he sounds perfectly normal, even making a sort of joke at his own expense. ] I am prone to worrying, though.
[they're a matched pair! ...though a constant loop of worrying does, perhaps, make for a disastrous combination. maybe she should keep her distance, so he has less to worry over - but she doesn't want that, selfish as it may be.
his voice doesn't betray him, but unfortunately for him, flayn isn't really content with just staying as they are. she leans into him to stay close - he's warm, it's cold out there, and he did want her to get warmed up before she rushed off again, didn't he? so she'll allow herself to indulge in this - but at the same time she turns slightly, so that she can look up at him, and -
oh. his face.
without thinking, she reaches up to touch his cheek. his skin is hot under her fingertips, and it makes her brows furrow in concern. she bites her lip.]
...are you alright?
[has he been running a fever this whole time and she just didn't notice?]
[ whatever self control yin yu has is impressive. it is, after all, very old. he is an expert at forcing himself to feel absolutely nothing, from years and years of bottling it all down, in his human life and afterwards. even when he was angry, even when he was happy, he was able to keep it concealed under a calm, relaxed exterior.
and now, instead of dealing with his own emotions, he is dealing with someone else's. they're just piled on top of his own, but they are like bricks compared to yin yu's usual level of emotional reaction. he'd be flustered by this anyway, but while lili is off having a very good night, apparently, yin yu is dying. he's so busy focusing on not looking at flayn and trying to keep his heart very still that he almost doesn't notice when she turns to look at him, and then there are fingertips touching his cheek.
yin yu turns his head, surprised, looking down, and flayn is right there. he freezes like a surprised animal, mouth opening kind of stupidly as lili's emotions, somewhere, surge in a feeling of love and something else that yin yu refuses to even consider.
in moments that require a lot of emotional load, yin yu tends to short circuit.
this is no exception to that. any words he was actually going to say just pour right out of his ears. the fact that he doesn't make a stupid noise is frankly shocking. caught somewhere between i need to make sure she knows i'm fine and what the hell and lady lili is too much and flayn is the most incredible, beautiful girl i've ever seen in my life he -
clears his throat, and doesn't move, arm still around her shoulders, a trooper, head dipping down a little. unintentionally, it makes him lean into her fingertips, head bowing forward so she doesn't have to reach. ] I - I'm fine, my lady. Everything is fine.
[ he is the opposite of fine. he has never been less fine. or maybe he is fine? it is nice? she's so lovely. this is - stop oh my gods ]
[because, well - she knows. back on the island, she'd been running a fever. neena had almost felt her forehead to check for it, but she'd avoided it, not wanting the others to worry; two days later, she dropped dead.
she can't think how yin yu might have gotten poisoned, unless -
the fan. they had talked about shinobu's blade being coated in poison. if nie huaisang's fan could cut, could it not also have been poisoned in some way? her heart tightens uncomfortably, and she - perhaps mercifully, for him - draws her hand away from his cheek and shrugs off his shoulder to step away.
in an instant, she's looking through the medicines.]
If you have a fever, then— there must be something here for it...
[ while he's still trying to get his brain into proper order, flayn pulls away from him and somehow he's made it worse. he watches her start to go for the medicine and feels the simultaneous urge to laugh and to cry, all at once, at how ridiculous this is. he was trying to keep flayn from being worried and he just made it worse. the instinct to try and fix it takes over from the general emotional paralysis, and he lunges forward -
Lady Flayn- [ - and his hand wraps around her wrist, catches it. it's really just to try and keep her from having to get medicine for a fever he absolutely does not have; the move forward doesn't make his momentum stop entirely, though and he almost runs into her, barely stopping himself, still holding her wrist, his other arm going out to catch against the counter so he doesn't actually run into her.
it's left them in a bit of a precarious position. unintentionally, he's ended up caging her against the counter, blinking wide, dark eyes at her. ]
.......Ah.
[ THIS IS WORSE? THIS IS WORSE. oh gods. the alarm in his brain practically screams (part of it screams yes and the rest of it hits that part with a shovel) and he shuts it down as fast as possible, immediately releasing her hand and lifting his arm up and out of the way.]
I--I don't. Lady Flayn, I promise, I would not hide it from you if I was ill, you would be the first person to know, I just, [ somewhere, lili's teenager hormones are having a really good night and wreaking havoc on yin yu's entire life. ] ...I ... was just embarrassed, it's - [ fuck how does he even begin to explain any of this???
he gives up. putting his hands together, in a quick bow. ] - Forgive me.
[ no he doesn't have a fever. he's blushing, forehead down to his neck. ]
[his hand closes around her wrist, and for a moment flayn is so stunned that she doesn't notice that he's still moving forward. not consciously, anyway. but she can't go much further - the counter is right there and he is right there.
she looks up at him, her eyes locking with his.
she can feel the heat pooling in her cheeks as she stares at him, and something about the way he hurriedly lets go of her wrist and pulls his arm back only makes her blush a deeper red. for a moment, that almost felt like -
no, no. that can't be it.
it's her imagination. it must be. it's wishful thinking to even wonder it (since when has that been something she wishes for?), and he doesn't need to deal with her imagination running away with her on top of everything else that's going on.]
There— there is nothing to forgive. [a beat.] I am sorry if I did something to cause you embarrassment...
[was it when she reached up to touch his face? maybe it was that. yes, that must have been it.
she's ignoring the fact that he was already blushing then, and that was why she reached out for him.]
[ the moment where they stand like that feels like all of time stops. they are so close, and he's not an idiot. generally an observant person, yin yu has to see the way flayn's cheeks turn red, too - that is not from a fever -
don't be ridiculous. gods, he's never been in so much of a tizzy in his life. flayn says something as he's trying to put everything back in order properly in his brain, and he ends up ducking his head again, apologetic, raising his hands as if to dispel even the thought. ]
No! No, no. [ i mean, yeah. flayn by existing embarrasses him sometimes, but that is definitely not her fault. he can say that it's lili throwing him off, but yin yu has spent the past six weeks with flayn, getting to know her in and out, and buried deeply underneath layers and layers of repression, and those wild emotions have nothing to do with the way he always, always, always has reached for flayn's hand. ] It's not that, you didn't.
[ mmm.... he reaches up, scrubbing his hand over his face, briefly, then lets it drop, back into his more proper bow. putting his head down lets him hide his face, and... a feeling of shame, too. ] I... I just. I should be apologizing for more than that. I shouldn't have let my thoughts drift to somewhere... [ ... ] ... somewhere inappropriate, and I did, my lady. I'm sorry.
[ god, admitting that is more embarrassing, but yin yu sticks to his proprieties, if nothing else. he has to admit to it, because it's only the right thing to do. flayn shouldn't have to be troubled because of this -- because of someone like him, either. ] I - I can get out of your sight. I'm sorry.
[he says he can get out of her sight, and immediately - as quickly as she can - she reaches for his hand. that isn't what she wants at all, and he's already run from her once this week. frankly, she isn't sure she can take it if he runs from her again.
how inappropriate could his thoughts possibly be? it's yin yu - he's never been anything but respectful with her.
(...and would it really be so bad, if...)]
I never said I wanted you out of my sight. Whatever you may have been thinking, surely it cannot be that bad.
[ he's taking a step back, just about ready to vanish. as always yin yu is good at that: he can make himself disappear without even trying. he really doesn't even have the right to be looking at flayn right now, but as he's trying to step away, flayn tells him to stop and
he does.
yin yu deflates, dropping his hands and straightening again, though his shoulders are a little more sloped than before. his cheeks are red, still, head still bowed, but...
he's not going anywhere. ] ...alright. [ he says, eventually, very softly. not a yes, my lady, but... an alright. yin yu, not a retainer.
yin yu still looks tense. it's clear he's still really, really embarrassed, and uncomfortable, and...guilty, too. to burden lady flayn with such a thing, of someone like himself... he doesn't make eye contact, either, eventually reaching up to rub his hand at the back of his neck. ] I just... I don't want you to be uncomfortable, nor should I - I wouldn't presume anything, my lady. I shouldn't have held you like that, either, I didn't even ask.
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fishingforcompliments) wrote2020-06-06 12:53 pm
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...but she won't ask. yin yu is choosing to rely on her, and that's no small thing. she has his reasons, and she trusts in him, so she'll trust in whatever those reasons are.
and it's a good thing, that he's concerned with looking out for someone else. lili has been such a support to many other people here - she deserves to have someone support her, in turn, and flayn is glad that she has yin yu thinking of her.]
...is there anything in particular I should be looking out for, as I am near her?
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...Don't let her hide it, if she's injured. [ he knows how lili is.
that may make it more obvious what's going on than anything else. ]
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[ah.]
I will, but... you had best take care not to be injured, yourself.
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the delivery of the facts is quiet and calm. ] Lady Lili suspected that the distraction at the trial was caused by myself - that I had tied her, Ash and Ookurikara together, in some combination. She knew that it would be a way to derail the trial, because she has a loud presence, and she was certainly right in that regard. Therefore, she thought that I had participated in the killings this week, and was using my power to throw attention off of myself and stop the proceedings.
She approached me almost immediately after, and asked if I would bond myself to her to prove that I hadn't used it.
[ he gives a little shrug of his shoulders. ] So, I did. I did not kill anyone, of course, and today marks the first time that I have used my power at all.
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[some part of flayn had wondered if, perhaps, he had tied the three of them together for some unrelated reason prior to the trial - she can't claim to know everything that he gets up to, or every plan that lili has. she would have believed it if it had been something they'd come up with together, only for it to backfire when someone had targeted a single one of them - likely lili herself - and the effect had spread to all three.
but she had never, even for a moment, wondered if yin yu was involved in the killings. it hurts a little, to think that lili might have suspected him.]
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i mean! flayn's belief in him is pretty touching, but. he gives her a small, self-deprecating smile. it doesn't reach his eyes. ] ...Lady Flayn, you saw what happened in the heavens. You are not the only one who did, this week.
[ you should know better, he thinks, looking away again, the rise of guilt in his stomach so familiar he's able to push it down only by habit. i know the kind of person that i am.
yin yu has had a very bad week. ] It was entirely plausible, and I am glad to know that if something were to happen, I would be subject to the same suspicion as anyone else.
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[it's completely implausible, she wants to say. if yin yu had been under suspicion during the trial, flayn likely would have leapt to his defense immediately.
(which, ultimately, might not have helped matters at all. beau leaping to nie huaisang's defense had not, in the end.)
she presses her lips together into a thin line, though. she doesn't want to argue with him, and if saying something she believes is true (and she does believe it, no matter what she saw in his memory) put that look on his face, then maybe she just needs to stop talking.]
...well, I am glad that you seem to have been cleared of it.
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[ ha ha... ha. that's a little dark, but it's true. their track record isn't exactly great. it's not that he doesn't think he deserves such a thing for other reasons, and it certainly wouldn't be the end of the world for their overall mission, but, nevertheless. ] Luckily, it was easy to dispel such a worry, and I am glad that she waited until after.
[ because it's not like he really would've been able to explain it in front of everyone else, either. ] ...Lady Lili was quite upset, so I wanted to assuage the fear as quickly as possible, too. If I had the choice, I wouldn't have done it.
[ he's made it clear to flayn, that he's not interested in using his power when it's not necessary. but... here they are. ]
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just the thought of it - of yin yu, facing down an executioner, weighing whether or not to fight for his life and risk killing someone who might also be innocent, or to go off to death after having received a majority vote - fills her with a fear so intense that she nearly stops breathing.
she doesn't want that. not ever.
she swallows hard. gods, but he doesn't need to deal with her fears on top of everything else.]
...I am glad you were able to.
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...Lady Flayn, it's all finished. And if something were to happen tomorrow, I would be able to handle it well. [ he says, softly, by way of trying for comfort. at least in terms of that. it's over, he's not in danger. yin yu was able to nip it in the bud, and capably, would have the ability to do so whenever. ...though, if it were to happen, he would fight back--but ultimately, a retroactive punishment for a crime once committed is all a person like him would deserve.
yin yu's not sure what to do, how to comfort her. he's bad at this, and there's the urge to reach out - to do something. to hug her, to hold her hand, to do anything to get that look off of flayn's face. lili's emotions keep sneaking through too, a rising tide of surprise, and then suddenly, an uncomfortable flood of love that he has no idea how to deal with. he can put the lid on most things, but it makes dealing with this current situation--makes looking at the girl beside him-- even more difficult.
(it's maybe not so unfamiliar a feeling. not now. not recently.
hm.)
his hand lifts in the air, but ultimately hovers a bit, unsure. ]
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[but knowing how capable he is - knowing that he likely could overpower nie huaisang in an instant, if he needed to - makes her no less worried. this place has thrown trouble after trouble at all of them, and she'll really only trust that the people she cares about will be safe once this is over.]
But, I...
[she worries.
she doesn't know how to stop worrying, when all she wants is to see him safely away from this nightmare of a camp.]
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yin yu is inevitably still a coward, and inevitably still a cat that needs to be coaxed into almost anything. he still keeps himself too guarded, tends to run at the best of moments. but over the past few weeks, he's been coaxed little by little out of his shell by this person, learned to try to reach out just a little more.
and if he's the reason she's so worried, it's just-
yin yu shifts, a little, his hand still hovering, before he quietly turns his shoulder to the side, letting her into his space. his arm's behind her, and... after a moment's hesitation, it falls gently on her shoulders.]
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but if they're more intense than they would have otherwise been, more noticeable, and yin yu is only holding her because of it—
for now, she doesn't seem to realize it. she looks up, shocked, as he puts her arm around her shoulders, but after a moment the tension bleeds out of her, and she leans into him.
...it's a little easier, like this - not to banish her fear of what might happen to him tomorrow, but to keep it at bay.]
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however, when she leans in, he does exhale, and gives a tiny squeeze. his ears are scarlet red, cheeks pink, but he doesn't run away. later on, he too will realize that these emotions are partially because of lili, which means that lili will be experiencing what he is right now, which means in a few hours he's going to want to grab the earth master's shovel and dig a hole straight back to ancient fantasy china, but for now, he's just embarrassed and also overwhelmed. ]
...I am sorry for worrying you. [ he says, eventually, looking down at the counter in front of them. at least his voice doesn't crack. ]
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[it feels... nice, to have his arm around her. warm. her cheeks flush faintly, but with his gaze on the counter, maybe he won't notice. she hopes he doesn't notice, because by now she knows that if he feels like he's making her uncomfortable, he'll attempt to leave in an instant, and she doesn't want that.
(she'll think about why that might be later.)]
I have worried you quite frequently since we arrived, I believe.
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it is only his own strength and three hundred years of being extremely, extremely repressed that keeps yin yu from reacting outwardly. inwardly, he's mortified, and the force at which he is trying to jam that feeling into a box in his brain is impressive. flayn's pressed close to his side like this, her body warm against his side gods she's wearing his robe -
ok. he closes his eyes, briefly, now basically stuck because he doesn't want to let go and upset flayn (she's looking a little better now) even if he also wants to run the other direction. cheeks turning a little redder, he tries to focus on maintaining his usual level of emotional control instead of dealing with being loaded with the emotions of a teenager. ]
...you have. [ he says. none of that emotion comes through in his voice--he sounds perfectly normal, even making a sort of joke at his own expense. ] I am prone to worrying, though.
[ inwardly he wants to die a little it's fine. ]
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[they're a matched pair! ...though a constant loop of worrying does, perhaps, make for a disastrous combination. maybe she should keep her distance, so he has less to worry over - but she doesn't want that, selfish as it may be.
his voice doesn't betray him, but unfortunately for him, flayn isn't really content with just staying as they are. she leans into him to stay close - he's warm, it's cold out there, and he did want her to get warmed up before she rushed off again, didn't he? so she'll allow herself to indulge in this - but at the same time she turns slightly, so that she can look up at him, and -
oh. his face.
without thinking, she reaches up to touch his cheek. his skin is hot under her fingertips, and it makes her brows furrow in concern. she bites her lip.]
...are you alright?
[has he been running a fever this whole time and she just didn't notice?]
1/2
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and now, instead of dealing with his own emotions, he is dealing with someone else's. they're just piled on top of his own, but they are like bricks compared to yin yu's usual level of emotional reaction. he'd be flustered by this anyway, but while lili is off having a very good night, apparently, yin yu is dying. he's so busy focusing on not looking at flayn and trying to keep his heart very still that he almost doesn't notice when she turns to look at him, and then there are fingertips touching his cheek.
yin yu turns his head, surprised, looking down, and flayn is right there. he freezes like a surprised animal, mouth opening kind of stupidly as lili's emotions, somewhere, surge in a feeling of love and something else that yin yu refuses to even consider.
in moments that require a lot of emotional load, yin yu tends to short circuit.
this is no exception to that. any words he was actually going to say just pour right out of his ears. the fact that he doesn't make a stupid noise is frankly shocking. caught somewhere between i need to make sure she knows i'm fine and what the hell and lady lili is too much and flayn is the most incredible, beautiful girl i've ever seen in my life he -
clears his throat, and doesn't move, arm still around her shoulders, a trooper, head dipping down a little. unintentionally, it makes him lean into her fingertips, head bowing forward so she doesn't have to reach. ] I - I'm fine, my lady. Everything is fine.
[ he is the opposite of fine. he has never been less fine. or maybe he is fine? it is nice? she's so lovely. this is - stop oh my gods ]
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[because, well - she knows. back on the island, she'd been running a fever. neena had almost felt her forehead to check for it, but she'd avoided it, not wanting the others to worry; two days later, she dropped dead.
she can't think how yin yu might have gotten poisoned, unless -
the fan. they had talked about shinobu's blade being coated in poison. if nie huaisang's fan could cut, could it not also have been poisoned in some way? her heart tightens uncomfortably, and she - perhaps mercifully, for him - draws her hand away from his cheek and shrugs off his shoulder to step away.
in an instant, she's looking through the medicines.]
If you have a fever, then— there must be something here for it...
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Lady Flayn- [ - and his hand wraps around her wrist, catches it. it's really just to try and keep her from having to get medicine for a fever he absolutely does not have; the move forward doesn't make his momentum stop entirely, though and he almost runs into her, barely stopping himself, still holding her wrist, his other arm going out to catch against the counter so he doesn't actually run into her.
it's left them in a bit of a precarious position. unintentionally, he's ended up caging her against the counter, blinking wide, dark eyes at her. ]
.......Ah.
[ THIS IS WORSE? THIS IS WORSE. oh gods. the alarm in his brain practically screams (part of it screams yes and the rest of it hits that part with a shovel) and he shuts it down as fast as possible, immediately releasing her hand and lifting his arm up and out of the way.]
I--I don't. Lady Flayn, I promise, I would not hide it from you if I was ill, you would be the first person to know, I just, [ somewhere, lili's teenager hormones are having a really good night and wreaking havoc on yin yu's entire life. ] ...I ... was just embarrassed, it's - [ fuck how does he even begin to explain any of this???
he gives up. putting his hands together, in a quick bow. ] - Forgive me.
[ no he doesn't have a fever. he's blushing, forehead down to his neck. ]
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she looks up at him, her eyes locking with his.
she can feel the heat pooling in her cheeks as she stares at him, and something about the way he hurriedly lets go of her wrist and pulls his arm back only makes her blush a deeper red. for a moment, that almost felt like -
no, no. that can't be it.
it's her imagination. it must be. it's wishful thinking to even wonder it (since when has that been something she wishes for?), and he doesn't need to deal with her imagination running away with her on top of everything else that's going on.]
There— there is nothing to forgive. [a beat.] I am sorry if I did something to cause you embarrassment...
[was it when she reached up to touch his face? maybe it was that. yes, that must have been it.
she's ignoring the fact that he was already blushing then, and that was why she reached out for him.]
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don't be ridiculous. gods, he's never been in so much of a tizzy in his life. flayn says something as he's trying to put everything back in order properly in his brain, and he ends up ducking his head again, apologetic, raising his hands as if to dispel even the thought. ]
No! No, no. [ i mean, yeah. flayn by existing embarrasses him sometimes, but that is definitely not her fault. he can say that it's lili throwing him off, but yin yu has spent the past six weeks with flayn, getting to know her in and out, and buried deeply underneath layers and layers of repression, and those wild emotions have nothing to do with the way he always, always, always has reached for flayn's hand. ] It's not that, you didn't.
[ mmm.... he reaches up, scrubbing his hand over his face, briefly, then lets it drop, back into his more proper bow. putting his head down lets him hide his face, and... a feeling of shame, too. ] I... I just. I should be apologizing for more than that. I shouldn't have let my thoughts drift to somewhere... [ ... ] ... somewhere inappropriate, and I did, my lady. I'm sorry.
[ god, admitting that is more embarrassing, but yin yu sticks to his proprieties, if nothing else. he has to admit to it, because it's only the right thing to do. flayn shouldn't have to be troubled because of this -- because of someone like him, either. ] I - I can get out of your sight. I'm sorry.
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[he says he can get out of her sight, and immediately - as quickly as she can - she reaches for his hand. that isn't what she wants at all, and he's already run from her once this week. frankly, she isn't sure she can take it if he runs from her again.
how inappropriate could his thoughts possibly be? it's yin yu - he's never been anything but respectful with her.
(...and would it really be so bad, if...)]
I never said I wanted you out of my sight. Whatever you may have been thinking, surely it cannot be that bad.
[her voice softens.]
...please do not leave me.
[please.]
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he does.
yin yu deflates, dropping his hands and straightening again, though his shoulders are a little more sloped than before. his cheeks are red, still, head still bowed, but...
he's not going anywhere. ] ...alright. [ he says, eventually, very softly. not a yes, my lady, but... an alright. yin yu, not a retainer.
yin yu still looks tense. it's clear he's still really, really embarrassed, and uncomfortable, and...guilty, too. to burden lady flayn with such a thing, of someone like himself... he doesn't make eye contact, either, eventually reaching up to rub his hand at the back of his neck. ] I just... I don't want you to be uncomfortable, nor should I - I wouldn't presume anything, my lady. I shouldn't have held you like that, either, I didn't even ask.
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speed tags cause i know you're on lunch
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