I would be honored to. [ comes his answer, immediately. his eyes are still cast downwards as he fixes up the ties, makes sure that the bow on the knot is even. she'll be changing out of it in a moment, but even still.
he would be honored to participate in this kind thing that she has done, week after week. he participated when she couldn't, and... hopefully, it never has to come to that again. to know that it means so much to her makes it even more important.
his hands linger for a moment when he finishes, at her waist. as he starts to straighten a little further, he realizes quickly how close he is, and yin yu looks up to flayn's face from where he's ducked far down to fix her clothes, from underneath his lashes. there's hesitation, there, because -
because, he doesn't really want to leave her, either. but that's selfish of him, isn't it? she was doing things - flayn must have other errands to run this evening. at least he knows she'll do it and not be so cold.
either way, the hesitation means whatever he has to say dies on his tongue, and he's left just kind of looking at her for a moment, the color on his face not just from the cold. his heart does a backflip for the at least tenth time this evening. (at least some of them were because of lili, but he's got no excuse, now.) ]
[she can rest a little easier tonight, knowing that he'll be helping her tomorrow. yin yu would never tell her he would help her and then... not do it.
whatever happens in the execution ring, if it is him there, she knows he won't lay down his life.
...is it selfish to ask him to stay when it's what they both want?
it might not be - but flayn, unfortunately, does not quite realize that he wants to stay. the way his hands linger at her waist and the look in his eyes have her cheeks flushing, though, and her breath catches.
...she isn't able to draw her gaze away from him.]
I... [she sounds reluctant when she speaks, but:] ...I suppose I shall see you tomorrow...?
[ he's... staring, again. he can feel the tick of his heartbeat start to rise again, that butterflies feeling that's really, really difficult to squash down. flayn's looking at him now, too, and the nerves and anticipation are hard to talk around in his throat.
that reluctance. he knows that steph has been staying in his cabin, and ostensibly, will be there again tonight, especially after she went through today. 45 is a wildcard, but... ] If - if you don't want to be alone, after that, I...
[ the flush on his cheeks nearly doubles, blotching down his neck. they are standing outside, in the snow. it is freezing.
aaaaaaaaaaa that's probably as far as he can manage though ]
[it isn't a night with a curfew. there isn't really any reason, for safety's sake, that she needs his company.
but not needing his company isn't the same thing as not wanting it. and there is still the possibility that he might end up in the execution ring tomorrow. there's the horrible possibility that despite his best efforts, if he is chosen, it might get turned around on him.
if that doesn't happen - and she will be so relieved tomorrow when his name isn't called - then she's just worrying too much. but right now, in this moment, she can't be sure of that.
so, shouldn't she spend whatever time with him that she can?
her cheeks flush.]
...would it trouble you if I asked you to stay with me tonight?
well then. he blinks at her kind of stupidly, hands still half hovering at the bow of the robe, the cold wind practically nonexistent because he's so distracted. ]
...of course not. [ yin yu answers, a little slowly--and then has to duck his head, either exhaling in relief or just deflating. this is bad for his adrenaline.
besides, there are few things flayn could ask for that would be troubling... and even then, yin yu would probably still do them. ] If... my company would help, then I'm happy to stay.
she swallows hard, then steps back so that she can draw him into the cabin, out of the cold.
it's possible, of course, that he might just be agreeing because she asked - flayn struggles to think of a time when he's said no to her. but she hopes very much that if he didn't want to, he would say so. so -]
[ admittedly it is nice to get out of the cold. the cabins aren’t all that much better, but the wind doesn’t get through, and he didn’t really realize how cold it really was until now that he’s stepped inside.
...it’s kind of hard to focus on that, though. he skitters inside when flayn pulls him in with her, embarrassed but not displeased, rolling his shoulders back just for the sake of something to do. his heart is still going way too hard in his chest and his face is still kind of red but. maybe he can pass it off from the chill. internally vibrating a little, yin yu ducks his head politely in thanks for the invitation, and makes sure the door shuts behind them. ]
Thank you for the invitation, my lady. [ he mumbles, because manners die hard. he’s not totally sure what to do with himself in this situation besides that, and he ends up leaning against the closest bunk bed, like an awkward nerd. ] I’ll look away, if you need to change.
[...she supposes she does need to change - he has cautioned her that she may catch a chill if she just wears the robe over her dress. she's got some much warmer pajamas from the clothing store to change into.
...
she pauses, though, before she can undo the ties he'd done up for her not too long ago.]
...wait, do you need to go grab something to change into...?
[if he's staying, that is, and not just keeping her company until she falls asleep.]
[ like a good boy, while flayn was moving, yin yu has turned around completely, facing the door. in fact, in that split second he has also pushed his mask properly back onto his face as if that would be slightly more respectful. (there's a reason he always wears it when they check for injuries in trials.)
also he's still really embarrassed so it's nice to have a shield for like five seconds. ]
...I usually sleep in my inner robes, so, it will be alright. [ ancient china habits die hard. he'd probably look very cute in a pair of camp store pjs, but, the likelihood of that happening is very low, alas. ] Thank you, though: don't worry.
[she's really bad at not worrying - but, fine. she nods once, and undoes the ties of the robe so that she can take it off. there's a rustle of silk as she puts it aside carefully (no crumpled heap on the floor for it! it's yin yu's robe, after all), and then the rustle of fabric and the clink of metal as she ditches the dancer outfit.
once she's changed into her pajamas, she shivers.
...impulsively, she reaches for his robe and pulls it back on. that's a little warmer.]
I am dressed. [well, she's working on trying to re-tie the robe, but.] You do not have to keep looking away.
[ he is not listening or looking, more or less comatose so that he doesn't have to think about what is going on behind him, eyes closed, ever a polite gentleman. it gives him a minute to put his thoughts back together properly, anyway, and the sound of her voice brings him back.
...oh, she's still...she put his outer robe back on. his heart squeezes, useless and creaky with this sudden overwhelming wave of positive emotions. ]
...Do you need help, my lady? [ turning properly now, yin yu comes back over. he's still wearing his mask from his attempt to give her a little extra privacy, but, he'll come get the ties for her if she says yes, coming close enough to do so. ]
[ because of course! the garments aren't exactly simple to wear, especially if you aren't familiar with them, especially if the garment is way too big, and, of course he doesn't mind helping.
he bows his head a little to see properly, leaning over just a bit as he comes into her space. close like this again, it's easy to tell how warm she is, and admittedly, he's a little relieved that she's in cozy pajamas instead of her... outfit from earlier. it's a little less on his poor repressed heart that way.
except yin yu still has to reach in to tie the knot through, threading the silk tie through a tiny slit in the side as he had earlier. it's close - it's very close, flayn is right in front of him and very warm and very sweet and - his cheeks pinken under the mask as he moves to tie it with precise, tender care, pulling the tie as far as he can inwards so it at least should stay mostly in place. ]
[honestly, flayn likes having him in her space. his presence is warm and comforting, and although this is probably difficult for him, what with how repressed he is and all, she's... actually having a pretty nice time?
she stays relaxed as he does his work, and once it's securely tied, she smiles.]
[ so very trusting of flayn, he's completely fine with letting her do whatever. he's not entirely sure what to expect when her hands come up, but suddenly his face is showing, and he...is staring at himself. or, at least what other people see so often.
yin yu bites his lip, clearly trying not to laugh, and quips: ] -- Who are you, again?
[ see! unrecognizable.
(hearing flayn say his title is very cute, actually.) ]
[flayn giggles, and ... doesn't take off the mask. it's her mask now! at least until he decides he wants it back.
do xianxianyue officers giggle? they do now.
anyway, she presses her lips together into a thin line to quiet down, then bows the way she's seen him bow to her so many times, her fist pressed to the palm of her hand.]
[ ugh she's too cute... too pure... this isn't allowed...
when she replicates his usual greeting, he pulls back just a little to do the same. fist to his hand, bowing his head. in his robe, which is way too big, and his mask, which is a little wrong on her face, flayn's yin yu impression isn't too bad.
he's smiling when he straightens, now, dark eyes twinkling a little with mirth. ] Perhaps you'll take over my spot and I'll have to retire. The ghosts would be charmed.
[ yin yu gently reaches over, fingertips to the edge of the mask, gentle. it's strange to look at it; like looking at his own reflection. ] If my lady will forgive me, this doesn't suit you very much. There's no sense in hiding.
[behind the mask, flayn is smiling - god, but she wants to be able to keep making him smile, just like that.]
Perhaps! ...although it is not the ghosts I am trying to charm.
[it's just him.
when he brings his hands up to the edges of the mask, she looks back at him from behind it, but nods once. it's his mask; he can take it off if he wants to.]
...very well, but I hope you know I think the same thing about you. There is no sense in you hiding, either. You are wonderful, and I wish you would allow more people to see it.
[when he does pull the mask away, he'll find her smiling, her expression warm and gentle with affection.]
[ well she's definitely succeeding. he'd like to bring flayn to visit ghost city someday, maybe, if only because it's home, but... thinking about the residents of the city...maybe it would be better if he never did. they're very nosy and they'd probably never leave her alone.
...anyway. the smile remains on his face for a moment longer, waiting for confirmation before he tips it up, gently, about to remove it properly.
it's. listening to her say such things about him, he mentally dismisses them. because he knows flayn is biased, somehow (that she likes him for some odd reason, that she thinks he's interesting, wants to spend time around him, he will never understand why) but. no one's even attempted to really say anything like that to him since... maybe even jian yu, and even then. you are wonderful.
lifting the mask up to that expression is what nearly knocks him the fuck out, and for a moment, he's quiet, still holding it now horizontal to show her face. flayn's words mean a lot to him, in a deep, insecure part of his soul. he's so long come to accept that he is nothing, no one, and never will be anyone that to have someone consistently poke at that part of him and tell him otherwise is... it's not enough to make him believe in it, but there's a tiny, hopeful part of him that soaks it up like a sponge, desperate for the thought that to someone, yin yu is worth something beyond his abilities and his work. not the xianxianyue officer. not even the once martial god of the west. him.
he doesn't know what to say. "thank you" is wrong. she'll be upset if he dismisses it. (even if he does, mentally.) he can't say "you're right" or "i will" because neither of those things are true. how to sum up what it means, to have someone care?
yin yu rarely does things impulsively, so maybe it's not that impulsive. but, still with the mask just up enough to show that expression on her face, like the dawning sun, he ducks inwards, and presses a soft, sweet kiss against her mouth, the first one that he initiates. ]
[her heart gives a leap as he ducks down and leans in.
she knows what she hopes he's going to do, and she's not disappointed. his lips on hers are soft and warm, and she grips the fabric of his robes to keep herself steady (because he really does make her weak at the knees) as she kisses him back.
it's warm and chaste and gentle.
flayn is well aware that yin yu has difficulty expressing himself and being close to others - so it means everything to her that he's willing to put himself within her reach, that he's willing to stay. over and over and over again, even though he has a tendency to hide, when it really matters...
[ for a moment, he's about to pull back too quickly, anxiety jumping that it was probably too much - why would you do that, she wouldn't want you to - but flayn's fingers gripping tight to the front of his robes act as an anchor. it feels like every emotional part of him is all mixed up, gratitude and warmth and happiness and confusion and self loathing and anxiety all at once. for someone who hasn't felt a lot in a long time, it's very disorienting to suddenly just feel.
...but, he allows himself to do so. even if it's very new territory, in so many ways. with flayn - who has always been a hand reaching for him - it doesn't feel quite as scary. (even if the idea of ruining it terrifies him like an eventuality, that there is no way something this good in his life could possibly last.)
the kiss lingers, this time. he tries to put that gratitude into it. thank you, for seeing me, for thinking those things, even though they aren't true, i can't tell you how much it means to me, thank you. even though yin yu has no idea what he's doing (which is an odd, vaguely anxiety inducing feeling) he perseveres forward with it anyway, and pulls back a little slowly, heart racing, as he finally lifts the mask off proper. ]
[by the time he pulls back, flayn's cheeks are red, and her heart feels so full it might burst.
but she's smiling. she cannot stop smiling, and the look of pure, unvarnished affection on her face is so obvious as he pulls the mask away. she would absolutely want him to keep doing that, if he wanted to.
it's nice, to have someone reach out for her, instead of being the one who has to reach out of them.
words fail her, but she looks really happy about it.]
[ color bursts all over yin yu's face pretty much the minute she starts looking at him like that. the smile, the warmth, the affection, her red cheeks, he is not strong enough--
yin yu doesn't quite wheeze, but he half laughs and drops his head, shaking it a little, an embarrassed laugh bubbling out of his chest. he's not so flustered that he's running away - in fact, he's barely moved from where he's still settled near flayn, and he's still even smiling a little - but he cannot look at her when she's making that face because it's like looking directly into the sun. ]
...sorry. [ he says, though, much like earlier in the day, it's not for the kiss itself. it's for the fact that he's a weenie, which becomes increasingly obvious by the second. (it was probably already obvious.) ducked in low to kiss her ,his head down, he has to look up a little to meet her eyes through his lashes, a bit sheepish, shy. ] I - am not very good at this.
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fishingforcompliments) wrote2020-06-06 12:53 pm
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he would be honored to participate in this kind thing that she has done, week after week. he participated when she couldn't, and... hopefully, it never has to come to that again. to know that it means so much to her makes it even more important.
his hands linger for a moment when he finishes, at her waist. as he starts to straighten a little further, he realizes quickly how close he is, and yin yu looks up to flayn's face from where he's ducked far down to fix her clothes, from underneath his lashes. there's hesitation, there, because -
because, he doesn't really want to leave her, either. but that's selfish of him, isn't it? she was doing things - flayn must have other errands to run this evening. at least he knows she'll do it and not be so cold.
either way, the hesitation means whatever he has to say dies on his tongue, and he's left just kind of looking at her for a moment, the color on his face not just from the cold. his heart does a backflip for the at least tenth time this evening. (at least some of them were because of lili, but he's got no excuse, now.) ]
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[she can rest a little easier tonight, knowing that he'll be helping her tomorrow. yin yu would never tell her he would help her and then... not do it.
whatever happens in the execution ring, if it is him there, she knows he won't lay down his life.
...is it selfish to ask him to stay when it's what they both want?
it might not be - but flayn, unfortunately, does not quite realize that he wants to stay. the way his hands linger at her waist and the look in his eyes have her cheeks flushing, though, and her breath catches.
...she isn't able to draw her gaze away from him.]
I... [she sounds reluctant when she speaks, but:] ...I suppose I shall see you tomorrow...?
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that reluctance. he knows that steph has been staying in his cabin, and ostensibly, will be there again tonight, especially after she went through today. 45 is a wildcard, but... ] If - if you don't want to be alone, after that, I...
[ the flush on his cheeks nearly doubles, blotching down his neck. they are standing outside, in the snow. it is freezing.
aaaaaaaaaaa that's probably as far as he can manage though ]
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but not needing his company isn't the same thing as not wanting it. and there is still the possibility that he might end up in the execution ring tomorrow. there's the horrible possibility that despite his best efforts, if he is chosen, it might get turned around on him.
if that doesn't happen - and she will be so relieved tomorrow when his name isn't called - then she's just worrying too much. but right now, in this moment, she can't be sure of that.
so, shouldn't she spend whatever time with him that she can?
her cheeks flush.]
...would it trouble you if I asked you to stay with me tonight?
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well then. he blinks at her kind of stupidly, hands still half hovering at the bow of the robe, the cold wind practically nonexistent because he's so distracted. ]
...of course not. [ yin yu answers, a little slowly--and then has to duck his head, either exhaling in relief or just deflating. this is bad for his adrenaline.
besides, there are few things flayn could ask for that would be troubling... and even then, yin yu would probably still do them. ] If... my company would help, then I'm happy to stay.
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she swallows hard, then steps back so that she can draw him into the cabin, out of the cold.
it's possible, of course, that he might just be agreeing because she asked - flayn struggles to think of a time when he's said no to her. but she hopes very much that if he didn't want to, he would say so. so -]
Please come in, then. It is very cold out there.
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...it’s kind of hard to focus on that, though. he skitters inside when flayn pulls him in with her, embarrassed but not displeased, rolling his shoulders back just for the sake of something to do. his heart is still going way too hard in his chest and his face is still kind of red but. maybe he can pass it off from the chill. internally vibrating a little, yin yu ducks his head politely in thanks for the invitation, and makes sure the door shuts behind them. ]
Thank you for the invitation, my lady. [ he mumbles, because manners die hard. he’s not totally sure what to do with himself in this situation besides that, and he ends up leaning against the closest bunk bed, like an awkward nerd. ] I’ll look away, if you need to change.
[ 💦💦 ]
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[...she supposes she does need to change - he has cautioned her that she may catch a chill if she just wears the robe over her dress. she's got some much warmer pajamas from the clothing store to change into.
...
she pauses, though, before she can undo the ties he'd done up for her not too long ago.]
...wait, do you need to go grab something to change into...?
[if he's staying, that is, and not just keeping her company until she falls asleep.]
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also he's still really embarrassed so it's nice to have a shield for like five seconds. ]
...I usually sleep in my inner robes, so, it will be alright. [ ancient china habits die hard. he'd probably look very cute in a pair of camp store pjs, but, the likelihood of that happening is very low, alas. ] Thank you, though: don't worry.
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once she's changed into her pajamas, she shivers.
...impulsively, she reaches for his robe and pulls it back on. that's a little warmer.]
I am dressed. [well, she's working on trying to re-tie the robe, but.] You do not have to keep looking away.
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...oh, she's still...she put his outer robe back on. his heart squeezes, useless and creaky with this sudden overwhelming wave of positive emotions. ]
...Do you need help, my lady? [ turning properly now, yin yu comes back over. he's still wearing his mask from his attempt to give her a little extra privacy, but, he'll come get the ties for her if she says yes, coming close enough to do so. ]
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[she is sort of struggling to get the ties exactly right, since the robe is a little big on her and keeps slipping - so after a moment, she nods.]
Yes, I would appreciate that. Thank you.
[her cheeks are flushed. times like these, she would appreciate a mask of her own, maybe.]
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[ because of course! the garments aren't exactly simple to wear, especially if you aren't familiar with them, especially if the garment is way too big, and, of course he doesn't mind helping.
he bows his head a little to see properly, leaning over just a bit as he comes into her space. close like this again, it's easy to tell how warm she is, and admittedly, he's a little relieved that she's in cozy pajamas instead of her... outfit from earlier. it's a little less on his poor repressed heart that way.
except yin yu still has to reach in to tie the knot through, threading the silk tie through a tiny slit in the side as he had earlier. it's close - it's very close, flayn is right in front of him and very warm and very sweet and - his cheeks pinken under the mask as he moves to tie it with precise, tender care, pulling the tie as far as he can inwards so it at least should stay mostly in place. ]
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she stays relaxed as he does his work, and once it's securely tied, she smiles.]
...Yin Yu, may I try something?
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he’s just pulling his hands back from her when she asks; yin yu tilts his head. ] Yes...?
[ ???? ]
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and that's all the warning he gets before she reaches up, eases his mask off him, and puts it on herself.]
What do you think? Do I make a convincing Xianxianyue officer?
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yin yu bites his lip, clearly trying not to laugh, and quips: ] -- Who are you, again?
[ see! unrecognizable.
(hearing flayn say his title is very cute, actually.) ]
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do xianxianyue officers giggle? they do now.
anyway, she presses her lips together into a thin line to quiet down, then bows the way she's seen him bow to her so many times, her fist pressed to the palm of her hand.]
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when she replicates his usual greeting, he pulls back just a little to do the same. fist to his hand, bowing his head. in his robe, which is way too big, and his mask, which is a little wrong on her face, flayn's yin yu impression isn't too bad.
he's smiling when he straightens, now, dark eyes twinkling a little with mirth. ] Perhaps you'll take over my spot and I'll have to retire. The ghosts would be charmed.
[ yin yu gently reaches over, fingertips to the edge of the mask, gentle. it's strange to look at it; like looking at his own reflection. ] If my lady will forgive me, this doesn't suit you very much. There's no sense in hiding.
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Perhaps! ...although it is not the ghosts I am trying to charm.
[it's just him.
when he brings his hands up to the edges of the mask, she looks back at him from behind it, but nods once. it's his mask; he can take it off if he wants to.]
...very well, but I hope you know I think the same thing about you. There is no sense in you hiding, either. You are wonderful, and I wish you would allow more people to see it.
[when he does pull the mask away, he'll find her smiling, her expression warm and gentle with affection.]
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...anyway. the smile remains on his face for a moment longer, waiting for confirmation before he tips it up, gently, about to remove it properly.
it's. listening to her say such things about him, he mentally dismisses them. because he knows flayn is biased, somehow (that she likes him for some odd reason, that she thinks he's interesting, wants to spend time around him, he will never understand why) but. no one's even attempted to really say anything like that to him since... maybe even jian yu, and even then. you are wonderful.
lifting the mask up to that expression is what nearly knocks him the fuck out, and for a moment, he's quiet, still holding it now horizontal to show her face. flayn's words mean a lot to him, in a deep, insecure part of his soul. he's so long come to accept that he is nothing, no one, and never will be anyone that to have someone consistently poke at that part of him and tell him otherwise is... it's not enough to make him believe in it, but there's a tiny, hopeful part of him that soaks it up like a sponge, desperate for the thought that to someone, yin yu is worth something beyond his abilities and his work. not the xianxianyue officer. not even the once martial god of the west. him.
he doesn't know what to say. "thank you" is wrong. she'll be upset if he dismisses it. (even if he does, mentally.) he can't say "you're right" or "i will" because neither of those things are true. how to sum up what it means, to have someone care?
yin yu rarely does things impulsively, so maybe it's not that impulsive. but, still with the mask just up enough to show that expression on her face, like the dawning sun, he ducks inwards, and presses a soft, sweet kiss against her mouth, the first one that he initiates. ]
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she knows what she hopes he's going to do, and she's not disappointed. his lips on hers are soft and warm, and she grips the fabric of his robes to keep herself steady (because he really does make her weak at the knees) as she kisses him back.
it's warm and chaste and gentle.
flayn is well aware that yin yu has difficulty expressing himself and being close to others - so it means everything to her that he's willing to put himself within her reach, that he's willing to stay. over and over and over again, even though he has a tendency to hide, when it really matters...
...he's always stayed with her.]
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...but, he allows himself to do so. even if it's very new territory, in so many ways. with flayn - who has always been a hand reaching for him - it doesn't feel quite as scary. (even if the idea of ruining it terrifies him like an eventuality, that there is no way something this good in his life could possibly last.)
the kiss lingers, this time. he tries to put that gratitude into it. thank you, for seeing me, for thinking those things, even though they aren't true, i can't tell you how much it means to me, thank you. even though yin yu has no idea what he's doing (which is an odd, vaguely anxiety inducing feeling) he perseveres forward with it anyway, and pulls back a little slowly, heart racing, as he finally lifts the mask off proper. ]
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but she's smiling. she cannot stop smiling, and the look of pure, unvarnished affection on her face is so obvious as he pulls the mask away. she would absolutely want him to keep doing that, if he wanted to.
it's nice, to have someone reach out for her, instead of being the one who has to reach out of them.
words fail her, but she looks really happy about it.]
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yin yu doesn't quite wheeze, but he half laughs and drops his head, shaking it a little, an embarrassed laugh bubbling out of his chest. he's not so flustered that he's running away - in fact, he's barely moved from where he's still settled near flayn, and he's still even smiling a little - but he cannot look at her when she's making that face because it's like looking directly into the sun. ]
...sorry. [ he says, though, much like earlier in the day, it's not for the kiss itself. it's for the fact that he's a weenie, which becomes increasingly obvious by the second. (it was probably already obvious.) ducked in low to kiss her ,his head down, he has to look up a little to meet her eyes through his lashes, a bit sheepish, shy. ] I - am not very good at this.
[ haha. understatement! ]
[ 💦 ]
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speed tags cause i know you're on lunch
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