[ oh... the memory comes on as they have all week long. yin yu thought they were finished - or, at least the reprieve was enough - but, suddenly, he's seeing through flayn's eyes again.
the flowers, the memorials, the voice of her brother--no, her father, the woman who is the 'professor'. her mother.
when it fades, he blinks back to reality, footsteps stopping for a brief moment, as he looks at flayn beside him. these memories are always hard to process, and it's best that they're processed with care. his hand squeezes in flayn's, as it slows, and he feels a well of emotion in his throat that must not entirely be his own as it fades.
they haven't talked about her memories from the first time they shared them. he can still remember the details--and connecting it with the panicked voice from the memories, it seems to make sense. ] Your.. Lady Flayn.
[...it hadn't been sad, at the time. not exactly. for flayn, her mother had always been a source of inspiration. she knows exactly what sort of person she was, and how she cared for her family.
she would have wanted them to remember her fondly, and to think back on her with a smile.
now, though - the peace of those days more than a thousand years in the past, and the gentle fondness with which she remembered her mother at the monument are fleeting. it wouldn't hit so hard if she didn't want to go home quite so badly.
...but having him here makes it a little easier. she grips yin yu's hand tightly.
in the present moment, she reminds herself.]
My mother would have liked you. [she manages a small smile. it's brief, but it's there.] Very much. I am certain that she would have.
Thank you, my lady. That's very kind. [ yin yu gives a small dip of his head in acknowledgement to it, as humble as ever. death is a strange thing to deal with, for him--he has so few connections in his normal life that it is only dealing with the camp and the island that has made things rocky. he has always known it to be a part of life, and intimately so, in the ghost city. he's seen every manner of person, remembered or otherwise, just trying to get back to the cycle of reincarnation that everyone deserves to join.
but, lady flayn had been the one to show him how to leave memorials, weeks and weeks ago, and he'd done it unfailingly since, by her side. to see her replicate the same action in her memories is just a testament to the kind of person that she is.
his thumb sweeps briefly over the side of her hand. flayn needs to be able to go home, to see her father, to re-visit that monument, to go fishing. he will do everything in his power to make sure she makes it out of here as unscathed as he can so that can be achieved. home, family... such things are precious, when you still have them. ] Someday, I would like it if you would tell me about her, if you wouldn't mind.
[ who knows? maybe they can burn a little paper money for her, too. ]
[she would like that. maybe not now. right now, it feels a little raw - but they're fresh on the heels of seeing the memory. they haven't really talked about any of hers (which isn't surprising; flayn doesn't like keeping secrets, but she's grown accustomed to not talking about her past, and it's much easier to ask others about theirs than to answer questions about her own).
she shivers - it's still cold out, and they haven't stepped inside. even now, she isn't sure she wants to. it's probably safer to split up, though; the longer they spend together, the higher the chances there are of more memories being shared against their will.
(at least it didn't interrupt the kiss, she catches herself thinking, and blushes faintly.)]
...I am sorry - for not telling you, before. About my father, that is. [...] I am... in the habit of not referring to him as such.
[ as they reach the door of the cabin, yin yu gives flayn a small smile to her apology, shaking his head. ] It's alright. You are more than privy to your own secrets, my lady. It is only the nature of this place that forces us to pry.
[ yin yu really hates this memory thing. really, really hates it. he knows how it feels to be raw and vulnerable in ways that he has never been, now. too secretive. too ashamed. if anyone gets the idea of respecting privacy, it is yin yu, who would sooner vanish into the horizon before he told anyone a single thing about himself. even his name was hard to come by, for people at camp, for some time. so. he won't ask for details unless flayn wants to give them.
...even though, her true name still sits in the back of his mind, a carefully guarded secret. if she shares them with him, yin yu will do his best to make sure they're safe.
as he walks with her to the door, yin yu releases her hand. it's only for the moment to pull the robe back up a little tighter over her shoulders, so it covers more. he's standing close enough to block the wind, a little bit of body heat, and he does his best to cover any exposed skin, moving his hands to find the inner ties of the garment near the waist to pull it shut. it's entirely too big and does not come anywhere remotely near to being anything but a giant blanket in terms of shape, but, that's alright, too. tying a bow to the knot with careful fingers, he fusses, quietly. ] It would be best to head in quickly, and...you should drink something warm tonight, before you sleep. Tomorrow will be long, and I imagine no less cold than today.
Be that as it may, I... wanted to tell you myself.
[there are a lot of things she hasn't talked about, a lot of memories that are just... out there, now, that she wanted to tell him. but mustering up the courage to talk about things she's long kept silent on is harder than it sounds, and in the end, people have seen many of them before she could manage it.
it seems like it isn't quite enough. I wanted to tell you... but they'll never really know if she would have or not, in the end.
her face falls a little as he lets go of her hand, but it quickly becomes obvious why that's necessary - he's adjusting the robe so that it keeps her just a little warmer. yin yu has always been thoughtful like that, and it brings a light flush to her cheeks.]
I... [want you to stay. but he says head in quickly, so maybe he would rather go. she can't ask.] ...tomorrow, will you help me with the flowers again?
[if he promises her that he will -
well, she knows that if he does get called to be the executioner, he'll do what he can to see it through. but if they have plans, if they've made a promise, then he has to survive.]
I would be honored to. [ comes his answer, immediately. his eyes are still cast downwards as he fixes up the ties, makes sure that the bow on the knot is even. she'll be changing out of it in a moment, but even still.
he would be honored to participate in this kind thing that she has done, week after week. he participated when she couldn't, and... hopefully, it never has to come to that again. to know that it means so much to her makes it even more important.
his hands linger for a moment when he finishes, at her waist. as he starts to straighten a little further, he realizes quickly how close he is, and yin yu looks up to flayn's face from where he's ducked far down to fix her clothes, from underneath his lashes. there's hesitation, there, because -
because, he doesn't really want to leave her, either. but that's selfish of him, isn't it? she was doing things - flayn must have other errands to run this evening. at least he knows she'll do it and not be so cold.
either way, the hesitation means whatever he has to say dies on his tongue, and he's left just kind of looking at her for a moment, the color on his face not just from the cold. his heart does a backflip for the at least tenth time this evening. (at least some of them were because of lili, but he's got no excuse, now.) ]
[she can rest a little easier tonight, knowing that he'll be helping her tomorrow. yin yu would never tell her he would help her and then... not do it.
whatever happens in the execution ring, if it is him there, she knows he won't lay down his life.
...is it selfish to ask him to stay when it's what they both want?
it might not be - but flayn, unfortunately, does not quite realize that he wants to stay. the way his hands linger at her waist and the look in his eyes have her cheeks flushing, though, and her breath catches.
...she isn't able to draw her gaze away from him.]
I... [she sounds reluctant when she speaks, but:] ...I suppose I shall see you tomorrow...?
[ he's... staring, again. he can feel the tick of his heartbeat start to rise again, that butterflies feeling that's really, really difficult to squash down. flayn's looking at him now, too, and the nerves and anticipation are hard to talk around in his throat.
that reluctance. he knows that steph has been staying in his cabin, and ostensibly, will be there again tonight, especially after she went through today. 45 is a wildcard, but... ] If - if you don't want to be alone, after that, I...
[ the flush on his cheeks nearly doubles, blotching down his neck. they are standing outside, in the snow. it is freezing.
aaaaaaaaaaa that's probably as far as he can manage though ]
[it isn't a night with a curfew. there isn't really any reason, for safety's sake, that she needs his company.
but not needing his company isn't the same thing as not wanting it. and there is still the possibility that he might end up in the execution ring tomorrow. there's the horrible possibility that despite his best efforts, if he is chosen, it might get turned around on him.
if that doesn't happen - and she will be so relieved tomorrow when his name isn't called - then she's just worrying too much. but right now, in this moment, she can't be sure of that.
so, shouldn't she spend whatever time with him that she can?
her cheeks flush.]
...would it trouble you if I asked you to stay with me tonight?
well then. he blinks at her kind of stupidly, hands still half hovering at the bow of the robe, the cold wind practically nonexistent because he's so distracted. ]
...of course not. [ yin yu answers, a little slowly--and then has to duck his head, either exhaling in relief or just deflating. this is bad for his adrenaline.
besides, there are few things flayn could ask for that would be troubling... and even then, yin yu would probably still do them. ] If... my company would help, then I'm happy to stay.
she swallows hard, then steps back so that she can draw him into the cabin, out of the cold.
it's possible, of course, that he might just be agreeing because she asked - flayn struggles to think of a time when he's said no to her. but she hopes very much that if he didn't want to, he would say so. so -]
[ admittedly it is nice to get out of the cold. the cabins aren’t all that much better, but the wind doesn’t get through, and he didn’t really realize how cold it really was until now that he’s stepped inside.
...it’s kind of hard to focus on that, though. he skitters inside when flayn pulls him in with her, embarrassed but not displeased, rolling his shoulders back just for the sake of something to do. his heart is still going way too hard in his chest and his face is still kind of red but. maybe he can pass it off from the chill. internally vibrating a little, yin yu ducks his head politely in thanks for the invitation, and makes sure the door shuts behind them. ]
Thank you for the invitation, my lady. [ he mumbles, because manners die hard. he’s not totally sure what to do with himself in this situation besides that, and he ends up leaning against the closest bunk bed, like an awkward nerd. ] I’ll look away, if you need to change.
[...she supposes she does need to change - he has cautioned her that she may catch a chill if she just wears the robe over her dress. she's got some much warmer pajamas from the clothing store to change into.
...
she pauses, though, before she can undo the ties he'd done up for her not too long ago.]
...wait, do you need to go grab something to change into...?
[if he's staying, that is, and not just keeping her company until she falls asleep.]
[ like a good boy, while flayn was moving, yin yu has turned around completely, facing the door. in fact, in that split second he has also pushed his mask properly back onto his face as if that would be slightly more respectful. (there's a reason he always wears it when they check for injuries in trials.)
also he's still really embarrassed so it's nice to have a shield for like five seconds. ]
...I usually sleep in my inner robes, so, it will be alright. [ ancient china habits die hard. he'd probably look very cute in a pair of camp store pjs, but, the likelihood of that happening is very low, alas. ] Thank you, though: don't worry.
[she's really bad at not worrying - but, fine. she nods once, and undoes the ties of the robe so that she can take it off. there's a rustle of silk as she puts it aside carefully (no crumpled heap on the floor for it! it's yin yu's robe, after all), and then the rustle of fabric and the clink of metal as she ditches the dancer outfit.
once she's changed into her pajamas, she shivers.
...impulsively, she reaches for his robe and pulls it back on. that's a little warmer.]
I am dressed. [well, she's working on trying to re-tie the robe, but.] You do not have to keep looking away.
[ he is not listening or looking, more or less comatose so that he doesn't have to think about what is going on behind him, eyes closed, ever a polite gentleman. it gives him a minute to put his thoughts back together properly, anyway, and the sound of her voice brings him back.
...oh, she's still...she put his outer robe back on. his heart squeezes, useless and creaky with this sudden overwhelming wave of positive emotions. ]
...Do you need help, my lady? [ turning properly now, yin yu comes back over. he's still wearing his mask from his attempt to give her a little extra privacy, but, he'll come get the ties for her if she says yes, coming close enough to do so. ]
[ because of course! the garments aren't exactly simple to wear, especially if you aren't familiar with them, especially if the garment is way too big, and, of course he doesn't mind helping.
he bows his head a little to see properly, leaning over just a bit as he comes into her space. close like this again, it's easy to tell how warm she is, and admittedly, he's a little relieved that she's in cozy pajamas instead of her... outfit from earlier. it's a little less on his poor repressed heart that way.
except yin yu still has to reach in to tie the knot through, threading the silk tie through a tiny slit in the side as he had earlier. it's close - it's very close, flayn is right in front of him and very warm and very sweet and - his cheeks pinken under the mask as he moves to tie it with precise, tender care, pulling the tie as far as he can inwards so it at least should stay mostly in place. ]
[honestly, flayn likes having him in her space. his presence is warm and comforting, and although this is probably difficult for him, what with how repressed he is and all, she's... actually having a pretty nice time?
she stays relaxed as he does his work, and once it's securely tied, she smiles.]
[ so very trusting of flayn, he's completely fine with letting her do whatever. he's not entirely sure what to expect when her hands come up, but suddenly his face is showing, and he...is staring at himself. or, at least what other people see so often.
yin yu bites his lip, clearly trying not to laugh, and quips: ] -- Who are you, again?
[ see! unrecognizable.
(hearing flayn say his title is very cute, actually.) ]
[flayn giggles, and ... doesn't take off the mask. it's her mask now! at least until he decides he wants it back.
do xianxianyue officers giggle? they do now.
anyway, she presses her lips together into a thin line to quiet down, then bows the way she's seen him bow to her so many times, her fist pressed to the palm of her hand.]
[ ugh she's too cute... too pure... this isn't allowed...
when she replicates his usual greeting, he pulls back just a little to do the same. fist to his hand, bowing his head. in his robe, which is way too big, and his mask, which is a little wrong on her face, flayn's yin yu impression isn't too bad.
he's smiling when he straightens, now, dark eyes twinkling a little with mirth. ] Perhaps you'll take over my spot and I'll have to retire. The ghosts would be charmed.
[ yin yu gently reaches over, fingertips to the edge of the mask, gentle. it's strange to look at it; like looking at his own reflection. ] If my lady will forgive me, this doesn't suit you very much. There's no sense in hiding.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fishingforcompliments) wrote2020-06-06 12:53 pm
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the flowers, the memorials, the voice of her brother--no, her father, the woman who is the 'professor'. her mother.
when it fades, he blinks back to reality, footsteps stopping for a brief moment, as he looks at flayn beside him. these memories are always hard to process, and it's best that they're processed with care. his hand squeezes in flayn's, as it slows, and he feels a well of emotion in his throat that must not entirely be his own as it fades.
they haven't talked about her memories from the first time they shared them. he can still remember the details--and connecting it with the panicked voice from the memories, it seems to make sense. ] Your.. Lady Flayn.
[ i'm sorry doesn't seem quite right.
he squeezes her hand. ]
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she would have wanted them to remember her fondly, and to think back on her with a smile.
now, though - the peace of those days more than a thousand years in the past, and the gentle fondness with which she remembered her mother at the monument are fleeting. it wouldn't hit so hard if she didn't want to go home quite so badly.
...but having him here makes it a little easier. she grips yin yu's hand tightly.
in the present moment, she reminds herself.]
My mother would have liked you. [she manages a small smile. it's brief, but it's there.] Very much. I am certain that she would have.
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but, lady flayn had been the one to show him how to leave memorials, weeks and weeks ago, and he'd done it unfailingly since, by her side. to see her replicate the same action in her memories is just a testament to the kind of person that she is.
his thumb sweeps briefly over the side of her hand. flayn needs to be able to go home, to see her father, to re-visit that monument, to go fishing. he will do everything in his power to make sure she makes it out of here as unscathed as he can so that can be achieved. home, family... such things are precious, when you still have them. ] Someday, I would like it if you would tell me about her, if you wouldn't mind.
[ who knows? maybe they can burn a little paper money for her, too. ]
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[she would like that. maybe not now. right now, it feels a little raw - but they're fresh on the heels of seeing the memory. they haven't really talked about any of hers (which isn't surprising; flayn doesn't like keeping secrets, but she's grown accustomed to not talking about her past, and it's much easier to ask others about theirs than to answer questions about her own).
she shivers - it's still cold out, and they haven't stepped inside. even now, she isn't sure she wants to. it's probably safer to split up, though; the longer they spend together, the higher the chances there are of more memories being shared against their will.
(at least it didn't interrupt the kiss, she catches herself thinking, and blushes faintly.)]
...I am sorry - for not telling you, before. About my father, that is. [...] I am... in the habit of not referring to him as such.
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[ yin yu really hates this memory thing. really, really hates it. he knows how it feels to be raw and vulnerable in ways that he has never been, now. too secretive. too ashamed. if anyone gets the idea of respecting privacy, it is yin yu, who would sooner vanish into the horizon before he told anyone a single thing about himself. even his name was hard to come by, for people at camp, for some time. so. he won't ask for details unless flayn wants to give them.
...even though, her true name still sits in the back of his mind, a carefully guarded secret. if she shares them with him, yin yu will do his best to make sure they're safe.
as he walks with her to the door, yin yu releases her hand. it's only for the moment to pull the robe back up a little tighter over her shoulders, so it covers more. he's standing close enough to block the wind, a little bit of body heat, and he does his best to cover any exposed skin, moving his hands to find the inner ties of the garment near the waist to pull it shut. it's entirely too big and does not come anywhere remotely near to being anything but a giant blanket in terms of shape, but, that's alright, too. tying a bow to the knot with careful fingers, he fusses, quietly. ] It would be best to head in quickly, and...you should drink something warm tonight, before you sleep. Tomorrow will be long, and I imagine no less cold than today.
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[there are a lot of things she hasn't talked about, a lot of memories that are just... out there, now, that she wanted to tell him. but mustering up the courage to talk about things she's long kept silent on is harder than it sounds, and in the end, people have seen many of them before she could manage it.
it seems like it isn't quite enough. I wanted to tell you... but they'll never really know if she would have or not, in the end.
her face falls a little as he lets go of her hand, but it quickly becomes obvious why that's necessary - he's adjusting the robe so that it keeps her just a little warmer. yin yu has always been thoughtful like that, and it brings a light flush to her cheeks.]
I... [want you to stay. but he says head in quickly, so maybe he would rather go. she can't ask.] ...tomorrow, will you help me with the flowers again?
[if he promises her that he will -
well, she knows that if he does get called to be the executioner, he'll do what he can to see it through. but if they have plans, if they've made a promise, then he has to survive.]
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he would be honored to participate in this kind thing that she has done, week after week. he participated when she couldn't, and... hopefully, it never has to come to that again. to know that it means so much to her makes it even more important.
his hands linger for a moment when he finishes, at her waist. as he starts to straighten a little further, he realizes quickly how close he is, and yin yu looks up to flayn's face from where he's ducked far down to fix her clothes, from underneath his lashes. there's hesitation, there, because -
because, he doesn't really want to leave her, either. but that's selfish of him, isn't it? she was doing things - flayn must have other errands to run this evening. at least he knows she'll do it and not be so cold.
either way, the hesitation means whatever he has to say dies on his tongue, and he's left just kind of looking at her for a moment, the color on his face not just from the cold. his heart does a backflip for the at least tenth time this evening. (at least some of them were because of lili, but he's got no excuse, now.) ]
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[she can rest a little easier tonight, knowing that he'll be helping her tomorrow. yin yu would never tell her he would help her and then... not do it.
whatever happens in the execution ring, if it is him there, she knows he won't lay down his life.
...is it selfish to ask him to stay when it's what they both want?
it might not be - but flayn, unfortunately, does not quite realize that he wants to stay. the way his hands linger at her waist and the look in his eyes have her cheeks flushing, though, and her breath catches.
...she isn't able to draw her gaze away from him.]
I... [she sounds reluctant when she speaks, but:] ...I suppose I shall see you tomorrow...?
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that reluctance. he knows that steph has been staying in his cabin, and ostensibly, will be there again tonight, especially after she went through today. 45 is a wildcard, but... ] If - if you don't want to be alone, after that, I...
[ the flush on his cheeks nearly doubles, blotching down his neck. they are standing outside, in the snow. it is freezing.
aaaaaaaaaaa that's probably as far as he can manage though ]
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but not needing his company isn't the same thing as not wanting it. and there is still the possibility that he might end up in the execution ring tomorrow. there's the horrible possibility that despite his best efforts, if he is chosen, it might get turned around on him.
if that doesn't happen - and she will be so relieved tomorrow when his name isn't called - then she's just worrying too much. but right now, in this moment, she can't be sure of that.
so, shouldn't she spend whatever time with him that she can?
her cheeks flush.]
...would it trouble you if I asked you to stay with me tonight?
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well then. he blinks at her kind of stupidly, hands still half hovering at the bow of the robe, the cold wind practically nonexistent because he's so distracted. ]
...of course not. [ yin yu answers, a little slowly--and then has to duck his head, either exhaling in relief or just deflating. this is bad for his adrenaline.
besides, there are few things flayn could ask for that would be troubling... and even then, yin yu would probably still do them. ] If... my company would help, then I'm happy to stay.
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she swallows hard, then steps back so that she can draw him into the cabin, out of the cold.
it's possible, of course, that he might just be agreeing because she asked - flayn struggles to think of a time when he's said no to her. but she hopes very much that if he didn't want to, he would say so. so -]
Please come in, then. It is very cold out there.
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...it’s kind of hard to focus on that, though. he skitters inside when flayn pulls him in with her, embarrassed but not displeased, rolling his shoulders back just for the sake of something to do. his heart is still going way too hard in his chest and his face is still kind of red but. maybe he can pass it off from the chill. internally vibrating a little, yin yu ducks his head politely in thanks for the invitation, and makes sure the door shuts behind them. ]
Thank you for the invitation, my lady. [ he mumbles, because manners die hard. he’s not totally sure what to do with himself in this situation besides that, and he ends up leaning against the closest bunk bed, like an awkward nerd. ] I’ll look away, if you need to change.
[ 💦💦 ]
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[...she supposes she does need to change - he has cautioned her that she may catch a chill if she just wears the robe over her dress. she's got some much warmer pajamas from the clothing store to change into.
...
she pauses, though, before she can undo the ties he'd done up for her not too long ago.]
...wait, do you need to go grab something to change into...?
[if he's staying, that is, and not just keeping her company until she falls asleep.]
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also he's still really embarrassed so it's nice to have a shield for like five seconds. ]
...I usually sleep in my inner robes, so, it will be alright. [ ancient china habits die hard. he'd probably look very cute in a pair of camp store pjs, but, the likelihood of that happening is very low, alas. ] Thank you, though: don't worry.
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once she's changed into her pajamas, she shivers.
...impulsively, she reaches for his robe and pulls it back on. that's a little warmer.]
I am dressed. [well, she's working on trying to re-tie the robe, but.] You do not have to keep looking away.
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...oh, she's still...she put his outer robe back on. his heart squeezes, useless and creaky with this sudden overwhelming wave of positive emotions. ]
...Do you need help, my lady? [ turning properly now, yin yu comes back over. he's still wearing his mask from his attempt to give her a little extra privacy, but, he'll come get the ties for her if she says yes, coming close enough to do so. ]
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[she is sort of struggling to get the ties exactly right, since the robe is a little big on her and keeps slipping - so after a moment, she nods.]
Yes, I would appreciate that. Thank you.
[her cheeks are flushed. times like these, she would appreciate a mask of her own, maybe.]
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[ because of course! the garments aren't exactly simple to wear, especially if you aren't familiar with them, especially if the garment is way too big, and, of course he doesn't mind helping.
he bows his head a little to see properly, leaning over just a bit as he comes into her space. close like this again, it's easy to tell how warm she is, and admittedly, he's a little relieved that she's in cozy pajamas instead of her... outfit from earlier. it's a little less on his poor repressed heart that way.
except yin yu still has to reach in to tie the knot through, threading the silk tie through a tiny slit in the side as he had earlier. it's close - it's very close, flayn is right in front of him and very warm and very sweet and - his cheeks pinken under the mask as he moves to tie it with precise, tender care, pulling the tie as far as he can inwards so it at least should stay mostly in place. ]
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she stays relaxed as he does his work, and once it's securely tied, she smiles.]
...Yin Yu, may I try something?
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he’s just pulling his hands back from her when she asks; yin yu tilts his head. ] Yes...?
[ ???? ]
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and that's all the warning he gets before she reaches up, eases his mask off him, and puts it on herself.]
What do you think? Do I make a convincing Xianxianyue officer?
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yin yu bites his lip, clearly trying not to laugh, and quips: ] -- Who are you, again?
[ see! unrecognizable.
(hearing flayn say his title is very cute, actually.) ]
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do xianxianyue officers giggle? they do now.
anyway, she presses her lips together into a thin line to quiet down, then bows the way she's seen him bow to her so many times, her fist pressed to the palm of her hand.]
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when she replicates his usual greeting, he pulls back just a little to do the same. fist to his hand, bowing his head. in his robe, which is way too big, and his mask, which is a little wrong on her face, flayn's yin yu impression isn't too bad.
he's smiling when he straightens, now, dark eyes twinkling a little with mirth. ] Perhaps you'll take over my spot and I'll have to retire. The ghosts would be charmed.
[ yin yu gently reaches over, fingertips to the edge of the mask, gentle. it's strange to look at it; like looking at his own reflection. ] If my lady will forgive me, this doesn't suit you very much. There's no sense in hiding.
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speed tags cause i know you're on lunch
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