[i'm way too tired to google it and figure out if they have phoenixes in fodlan so i'm just going to assume flayn has read about one in a book from the library if they don't exist there.]
...a phoenix - that being the case, I believe it does suit you, then.
[ yin yu tilts his head back to look at her, a bit curious. he can't see all that well over his shoulder, but -- even just seeing her right there behind him makes his heart do a backflip. he's always treasured their conversations, and flayn's presence, but perhaps never more than right now, when they've finally been reunited, properly.
besides, the fenghuang is the 'king of the birds', at least at home - a title certainly not befitting yin yu. ]
[she smiles at him, continuing to sort out and smooth down his feathers. it doesn't look like they've seen much grooming in the weeks that he's had them. luckily, she's used to tending to the pegasi at the monastery, so feathers aren't all that strange for her.]
According to the stories, when they feel as though their life is at an end, they rise from the ashes, stronger and more beautiful than before. Have you not done the same?
that gets him to blush pretty spectacularly, giving her a surprised look before he has to tear his gaze away again, feeling the heat of embarrassment flood his face. ] I - in a literal sense, I did come back to life, but...
[ JEEZ DONT JUST SAY STUFF LIKE THAT FLAYN HE'LL DIE AGAIN. this time of being flustered. ] I think perhaps that's a bit of an exaggeration, isn't it...?
[ he's fairly sure he is not stronger, and beautiful is a wildly inaccurate description of anything, including these feathers, which he at this point would mostly just call "obnoxious". ]
[...it looks like the wings are mostly settled. smiling, flayn steps away from his back, then comes around in front of him to reach for his hands, if he'll let her take them.
(assuming he's not so flustered he can't see that she's going for it.)]
[ has he ever rejected these hands? even in what arguably was his worst moment, crouched by the side of a cabin and trying not to have a panic attack over flayn finding out the worst secret of his life, he still took them, when they were offered.
this is a much warmer moment, and he's missed this. yin yu missed her. he meets her halfway, taking her hands gently in his, in the familiar way they fit together, a comfort he's come to know since the beginning of his time in the camp. almost naturally, his thumb strokes the top of her knuckle, just once, the gesture unconscious. ]
As ever, you are very kind. [ cheeks still red, yin yu gives her a little, almost bashful smile. ] ...I should be the one saying such things to you.
[ after all, her features are lovely; that of a dragon. in an embarrassing way, they match. ]
[they might match, but flayn doesn't know the lore, so she doesn't realize that.
she does know that his smile draws out her own, though. it's impossible not to smile when she sees that look on his face - she gives his hands a gentle squeeze as she shakes her head. he doesn't need to tell her those things.
he's always made sure she knows he thinks them, even without words.]
he probably couldn't tell you the last time someone told him that, outside of this place.
it squeezes his heart tight. after a few weeks, it's like falling all over again, pushing that rusty, achy thing he calls his heart back into place. ] ...I missed you too.
[ he'd been watching, trying to keep track on the screens. yin yu had seen flayn suffer, seen her in misery that no one else seemed to recognize, tried to find ways to reach out to her the best he could, but it wasn't the same. ultimately, he'd failed in protecting her by dying, something he regrets more than his actual death, and the fact that they've been reunited has been part of what drove him forward to this point. every action he had taken in that store was with the clearheaded goal in mind of coming back. for the first time in centuries, he had a goal that wasn't his work, that wasn't just drifting from day to day in a fog.
yin yu had someone who missed him, and that means more than the world. it wasn't the same. watching, writing--it could never be the same. he missed flayn more than he could really possibly say. ]
two weeks. just two weeks apart - the same length of time they had known each other on the island. but it had been excruciating. part of it had been not knowing if she would be able to see him again - not knowing if they would succeed.
part of it, though, had just been the small, simple parts of every day: finding something and thinking I want to show this to Yin Yu, but not being able to find him. wanting to see his face, or hear his voice, and knowing that it couldn't happen.
going to the kitchen to cook meals had been painful, remembering what they'd planned to do together.
and soon - if they're not all killed tomorrow in a fit of the snake's pique - will they be separated for even longer? on the island, they'd promised to see each other again. will they manage that? when he returns to his world, and she to hers, will they ever...?
her grip tightens on his hand, and she steps forward to hug him so that he can't see the look on her face.
(that's a problem for tomorrow. right now, she just wants to be happy he's here again. she wants to live fully in the present moment.)]
[ as flayn steps in to hug him, yin yu welcomes it immediately, gently unlacing their fingers so he can wrap his arms around her, instead. this sort of closeness is usually a lot for him, but in the quiet private of maybe, a victory, it doesn’t feel that way. I like it when you hold me, she had said, weeks ago. and for someone like yin yu, who hasn’t had that sort of affection in his life since he was a child, it’s easy to like it, too. to have missed it. to have missed her, and the way she brightens every room just by being in it, how a world that felt so dark and gray could be thrown into focus again when she called his name.
now that they’re alone, he’s had a little bit of time to sort some of his own thoughts. his worries and anxieties over flayn are not unfamiliar, at this point (her misery in her role, his terror she would find a way to sacrifice herself earlier today from her guilt, and of course, the ever present undercurrent that tomorrow may be the last time they see each other), but there’s something else, too.
as flayn settles close, yin yu tips his head forward to bow over her, forehead to the top of her head, and centers himself with a quiet inhale and exhale. ] ...Flayn. [ to be sure he has her attention, even if a part of him wants to shy away — it’s not like she’ll be able to move to look at his face like this right away like this at least. ] I... didn’t get to say it back.
[ well, he did, but not while she was awake.
yin yu always speaks softly, and this is no exception. just loud enough, vulnerable enough for her to hear, he says - ] ....I love you.
[ even if threatens to get caught in the rush of butterflies. yin yu has had a lot of time to think, lately, and that hasn’t changed. ] I...wanted to say it, plainly, instead of writing it in a letter.
[...it's amazing, how something as simple as three words, spoken in the right order, from the right person, can mean everything.
hearing yin yu say it makes her heart feel so full it might burst, and makes her feel light enough to walk on air. it makes her smile so widely that it actually sort of makes her face hurt (and undoubtedly just makes her look silly, so she's sort of glad her face is buried in his chest so he can't see her expression). it makes her feel strong enough to take on anything, no matter what the following day might bring.]
I love you, too.
[she says it back, because this can't be like the last time. it can't. this time, they're both here, and awake, and they have the option to say it, if they want to.
gods, does she ever want to. she wants to make sure he knows, and that there isn't any room for doubt whatsoever. she wants him to know exactly how beloved he is.]
[ this time, there's no share of emotions to make things as transparent as possible, and the part of yin yu that is a shy, embarrassed coward is glad for it. it's mostly because hearing flayn say that, for the second time - he was the lucky one, who was still awake when she did - feels so overwhelming that he almost can't take it. it's happiness that floods him, strong enough to nearly knock him off of his feet.
he'd missed flayn so much. not being able to help her, watching her suffer during dimitri's trial had affected him down to his bones. he'd wanted to leap through the screens and shout how obvious her pain was, to every person that was protecting her when clearly that was the last thing she wanted. how few people seemed to know flayn had horrified him, and to know she had been suffering all of that time without him knowing is his greatest regret of this entire camp.
trying wasn't the same as doing. i know you helped her greatly, while she was suffering, shinobu had said. it wasn't enough.
at least for tonight, he can try to start to make up for it. if it's the last night that they can spend together - a thought that he's had more than once - then, at least they can make it a good one. yin yu exhales, turning his head so he can rest his cheek on top of hers, and closes his eyes. ]
...I was going to find you anyway. Would you... [ mmn... okay, some newly gained confidence or not, yin yu's cheeks redden. ] ...would you like to stay?
[...if he hadn't, she'd been planning to invite him back to her cabin. or, perhaps, to one of the other cabins, if stephanie or 45 or guy had been there. not that she wouldn't relish the time spent with more people, but -
if this is the last night they'll have together, she wants to spend it with yin yu.]
[ flayn can probably feel the way he was almost holding his breath waiting for her to answer, like she was going to say no or something. (she wasn't, you stupid boy.) he releases it when she does, the exhale a little closer to relieved than it probably should be, and ends up hiding a smile in her hair. ]
...me too. [ he'd would like that very much. it's been a while; the last night before his death, curled up on the entertainment cabin floor in a heap, had been a restful evening. he's not sure how well he'll sleep tonight - a part of him wants to stay awake as long as he can, just to soak up this little ray of light, just in case it's snuffed out again, tomorrow, but that can come later.
right. okay. there are like, logistics and stuff to this that aren't just holding flayn for the next twelve hours, focus. ] ...Do you need to fetch anything from your cabin? I'll walk you there, if you'd like...
...I probably ought to get something to sleep in, yes.
[alas, she can't ask to borrow his robes. she wouldn't want to cut them up just to put her wings through them - not when she's already cut wingholes into some pajamas from the camp clothing store. it would be a waste.
(even if she does vastly prefer wearing his robes. they're comfortable, so sue her.)
if they're going to walk back to go fetch that, she's going to have to stop hugging him long enough for them to make the trek. still, she doesn't seem at all inclined to step out of his arms, or even to stop holding onto him.
it's like the entertainment all over again, where he'd had to remind her to let go so he could fetch the book.]
[ there's a long moment of silence, where his arms are still around her, a wing still half caging them in. where flayn is still tucked against his chest, holding onto him, too. this is deja vu.
...and what a nice thing, to be able to have deja vu for.
as yin yu waits, he finds himself having to bite back a smile, until he can't really hold it anymore, and yin yu's shoulders start shaking in silent mirth at how utterly ridiculous this is. that they are.
i think we're both idiots, he'd said to yasusada. perhaps that's true. ]
[deja vu, indeed. flayn doesn't let go, and yin yu doesn't let go - but she can't see his face, so she doesn't realize that he's smiling until his shoulders begin to shake with laughter.
she pulls back - not entirely, her arms are still around him - but just enough to see his face.
oh.
they really are both idiots, though she doesn't know he's said so already.]
...neither one of us is terribly good at letting go, are we?
[ which is, in a way, a funny state of being to be in, because if there's anything yin yu's good at, it's getting away. he's quick to escape from any situation where he's uncomfortable, quick to vanish into nothingness and disappear from memory the moment someone turns away. unmemorable, practically made of cellophane.
...until now, he's wanted to run from everything, but even then, it never seemed like he could let things go. it seems his position has reversed, when it comes to flayn. this is growth, probably - but he'll have to run from that realization, and set it aside for another day.
yin yu doesn't notice it, but he's smiling down at her. small and soft, fond from the laughter, his gaze warm, arms still loosely resting at her waist, too. for once, just for once, it's nice to relish in the simple warmth of being happy. ] ...Apparently not.
[ before, they hadn't really had much of a choice in letting go. that's part of what makes tonight an easy choice to stay. ]
[even now that they've pointed it out, they still aren't letting go.
flayn smiles, hopelessly fond, and doesn't pull her arms from around him. she has never been good at letting go, either. she is a person who clings to the memories of the people she's lost, and does her best to make new memories with the people she knows she will lose in the future -
so that, even when they pass on, they will never be lost to the sands of time.
it's why she wants so badly to be able to stay up with yin yu, tonight. she will never, ever forget him, and if this is the last night she'll have with him, she wants to bring as many memories of him with her as she possibly can.]
...it likely would not hurt if I fell asleep in these clothes. [she has, at least, changed into warm, clean clothes since her foray into the lake. and when the snake had healed their injuries - they'd healed her cold, too. she's uninjured and healthy again.] I could simply just... stay.
[ "likely", he mouths, though it's with that same mirthful touch of amusement from his quiet laughter. it's such a flayn thing to say, and he shifts enough at least to look down at her, to make sure that is the case.
...but that's a fair compromise. he nods, the echoes of that smile still remaining on his face, unbelievably fond.
one last night. one 'present moment'. ] If you're sure you'll be comfortable, then I think that sounds just fine to me.
one of the worst things about flayn is that she just says things like that, completely sincerely, not even realizing how they sound. sorry if you die again, yin yu.]
[ listen he may have taken a little bit of a confidence boost, with six weeks of character growth, but yin yu is still yin yu and things like that get him embarrassed. behind him, those rainbow colored feathers puff up like he's been startled, and his cheeks flush with color.
there is no getting used to flayn.
(that is certainly not a bad thing.) ]
...right. I... me too.
[ behind him, a single feather detaches off of his wings and floats to the ground, a little anticlimactically. ]
[the flush of his cheeks aren't all that surprising -
but the puffing up of his wings? that's new. (the wings themselves are new, but she hadn't expected that. her eyes widen at the rustling of his feathers, and she looks between him and his wings, then follows that single feather as it floats to the ground.]
[ ah. well. his face turns a little redder, and he shakes his head, suddenly finding anywhere but flayn's face very interesting. ]
...ah, no, I just -- it's been. It's been a little while since we've been able to... talk...like this, is all.
[ he's got a negative resistance to flayn being directly so sweet, is what it is, really. that may never change, and neither will the way color takes over his entire face with it. yin yu still feels like he needs to explain more, but that's even more embarrassing, and he just kind of gives up and ducks his head down, mumbling-- ] ...I can't control them very well.
maybe she should try to behave. if it's been awhile, and this is startling him - they're not back to square one, exactly, but they're a little bit further back than they were, and she doesn't want to make yin yu uncomfortable. especially if this very well might turn out to be the last night they have together.
when he looks back on these memories, she wants them to bring him joy, not to make him feel awkward.]
I am sorry. [...] I shall try to give you less cause for them to... um, go out of control.
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fishingforcompliments) wrote2020-06-06 12:53 pm
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...a phoenix - that being the case, I believe it does suit you, then.
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[ yin yu tilts his head back to look at her, a bit curious. he can't see all that well over his shoulder, but -- even just seeing her right there behind him makes his heart do a backflip. he's always treasured their conversations, and flayn's presence, but perhaps never more than right now, when they've finally been reunited, properly.
besides, the fenghuang is the 'king of the birds', at least at home - a title certainly not befitting yin yu. ]
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[she smiles at him, continuing to sort out and smooth down his feathers. it doesn't look like they've seen much grooming in the weeks that he's had them. luckily, she's used to tending to the pegasi at the monastery, so feathers aren't all that strange for her.]
According to the stories, when they feel as though their life is at an end, they rise from the ashes, stronger and more beautiful than before. Have you not done the same?
[in his life before coming here, and -
here, honestly. he'd died, and now he was back.]
wow i love not getting notifs
that gets him to blush pretty spectacularly, giving her a surprised look before he has to tear his gaze away again, feeling the heat of embarrassment flood his face. ] I - in a literal sense, I did come back to life, but...
[ JEEZ DONT JUST SAY STUFF LIKE THAT FLAYN HE'LL DIE AGAIN. this time of being flustered. ] I think perhaps that's a bit of an exaggeration, isn't it...?
[ he's fairly sure he is not stronger, and beautiful is a wildly inaccurate description of anything, including these feathers, which he at this point would mostly just call "obnoxious". ]
punches dw
[...it looks like the wings are mostly settled. smiling, flayn steps away from his back, then comes around in front of him to reach for his hands, if he'll let her take them.
(assuming he's not so flustered he can't see that she's going for it.)]
rude of it tbh
this is a much warmer moment, and he's missed this. yin yu missed her. he meets her halfway, taking her hands gently in his, in the familiar way they fit together, a comfort he's come to know since the beginning of his time in the camp. almost naturally, his thumb strokes the top of her knuckle, just once, the gesture unconscious. ]
As ever, you are very kind. [ cheeks still red, yin yu gives her a little, almost bashful smile. ] ...I should be the one saying such things to you.
[ after all, her features are lovely; that of a dragon. in an embarrassing way, they match. ]
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she does know that his smile draws out her own, though. it's impossible not to smile when she sees that look on his face - she gives his hands a gentle squeeze as she shakes her head. he doesn't need to tell her those things.
he's always made sure she knows he thinks them, even without words.]
...I really missed you, Yin Yu.
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he probably couldn't tell you the last time someone told him that, outside of this place.
it squeezes his heart tight. after a few weeks, it's like falling all over again, pushing that rusty, achy thing he calls his heart back into place. ] ...I missed you too.
[ he'd been watching, trying to keep track on the screens. yin yu had seen flayn suffer, seen her in misery that no one else seemed to recognize, tried to find ways to reach out to her the best he could, but it wasn't the same. ultimately, he'd failed in protecting her by dying, something he regrets more than his actual death, and the fact that they've been reunited has been part of what drove him forward to this point. every action he had taken in that store was with the clearheaded goal in mind of coming back. for the first time in centuries, he had a goal that wasn't his work, that wasn't just drifting from day to day in a fog.
yin yu had someone who missed him, and that means more than the world. it wasn't the same. watching, writing--it could never be the same. he missed flayn more than he could really possibly say. ]
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two weeks. just two weeks apart - the same length of time they had known each other on the island. but it had been excruciating. part of it had been not knowing if she would be able to see him again - not knowing if they would succeed.
part of it, though, had just been the small, simple parts of every day: finding something and thinking I want to show this to Yin Yu, but not being able to find him. wanting to see his face, or hear his voice, and knowing that it couldn't happen.
going to the kitchen to cook meals had been painful, remembering what they'd planned to do together.
and soon - if they're not all killed tomorrow in a fit of the snake's pique - will they be separated for even longer? on the island, they'd promised to see each other again. will they manage that? when he returns to his world, and she to hers, will they ever...?
her grip tightens on his hand, and she steps forward to hug him so that he can't see the look on her face.
(that's a problem for tomorrow. right now, she just wants to be happy he's here again. she wants to live fully in the present moment.)]
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now that they’re alone, he’s had a little bit of time to sort some of his own thoughts. his worries and anxieties over flayn are not unfamiliar, at this point (her misery in her role, his terror she would find a way to sacrifice herself earlier today from her guilt, and of course, the ever present undercurrent that tomorrow may be the last time they see each other), but there’s something else, too.
as flayn settles close, yin yu tips his head forward to bow over her, forehead to the top of her head, and centers himself with a quiet inhale and exhale. ] ...Flayn. [ to be sure he has her attention, even if a part of him wants to shy away — it’s not like she’ll be able to move to look at his face like this right away like this at least. ] I... didn’t get to say it back.
[ well, he did, but not while she was awake.
yin yu always speaks softly, and this is no exception. just loud enough, vulnerable enough for her to hear, he says - ] ....I love you.
[ even if threatens to get caught in the rush of butterflies. yin yu has had a lot of time to think, lately, and that hasn’t changed. ] I...wanted to say it, plainly, instead of writing it in a letter.
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hearing yin yu say it makes her heart feel so full it might burst, and makes her feel light enough to walk on air. it makes her smile so widely that it actually sort of makes her face hurt (and undoubtedly just makes her look silly, so she's sort of glad her face is buried in his chest so he can't see her expression). it makes her feel strong enough to take on anything, no matter what the following day might bring.]
I love you, too.
[she says it back, because this can't be like the last time. it can't. this time, they're both here, and awake, and they have the option to say it, if they want to.
gods, does she ever want to. she wants to make sure he knows, and that there isn't any room for doubt whatsoever. she wants him to know exactly how beloved he is.]
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he'd missed flayn so much. not being able to help her, watching her suffer during dimitri's trial had affected him down to his bones. he'd wanted to leap through the screens and shout how obvious her pain was, to every person that was protecting her when clearly that was the last thing she wanted. how few people seemed to know flayn had horrified him, and to know she had been suffering all of that time without him knowing is his greatest regret of this entire camp.
trying wasn't the same as doing. i know you helped her greatly, while she was suffering, shinobu had said. it wasn't enough.
at least for tonight, he can try to start to make up for it. if it's the last night that they can spend together - a thought that he's had more than once - then, at least they can make it a good one. yin yu exhales, turning his head so he can rest his cheek on top of hers, and closes his eyes. ]
...I was going to find you anyway. Would you... [ mmn... okay, some newly gained confidence or not, yin yu's cheeks redden. ] ...would you like to stay?
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[...if he hadn't, she'd been planning to invite him back to her cabin. or, perhaps, to one of the other cabins, if stephanie or 45 or guy had been there. not that she wouldn't relish the time spent with more people, but -
if this is the last night they'll have together, she wants to spend it with yin yu.]
...I would like that. Very much.
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...me too. [ he'd would like that very much. it's been a while; the last night before his death, curled up on the entertainment cabin floor in a heap, had been a restful evening. he's not sure how well he'll sleep tonight - a part of him wants to stay awake as long as he can, just to soak up this little ray of light, just in case it's snuffed out again, tomorrow, but that can come later.
right. okay. there are like, logistics and stuff to this that aren't just holding flayn for the next twelve hours, focus. ] ...Do you need to fetch anything from your cabin? I'll walk you there, if you'd like...
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[alas, she can't ask to borrow his robes. she wouldn't want to cut them up just to put her wings through them - not when she's already cut wingholes into some pajamas from the camp clothing store. it would be a waste.
(even if she does vastly prefer wearing his robes. they're comfortable, so sue her.)
if they're going to walk back to go fetch that, she's going to have to stop hugging him long enough for them to make the trek. still, she doesn't seem at all inclined to step out of his arms, or even to stop holding onto him.
it's like the entertainment all over again, where he'd had to remind her to let go so he could fetch the book.]
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...and what a nice thing, to be able to have deja vu for.
as yin yu waits, he finds himself having to bite back a smile, until he can't really hold it anymore, and yin yu's shoulders start shaking in silent mirth at how utterly ridiculous this is. that they are.
i think we're both idiots, he'd said to yasusada. perhaps that's true. ]
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she pulls back - not entirely, her arms are still around him - but just enough to see his face.
oh.
they really are both idiots, though she doesn't know he's said so already.]
...neither one of us is terribly good at letting go, are we?
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...until now, he's wanted to run from everything, but even then, it never seemed like he could let things go. it seems his position has reversed, when it comes to flayn. this is growth, probably - but he'll have to run from that realization, and set it aside for another day.
yin yu doesn't notice it, but he's smiling down at her. small and soft, fond from the laughter, his gaze warm, arms still loosely resting at her waist, too. for once, just for once, it's nice to relish in the simple warmth of being happy. ] ...Apparently not.
[ before, they hadn't really had much of a choice in letting go. that's part of what makes tonight an easy choice to stay. ]
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flayn smiles, hopelessly fond, and doesn't pull her arms from around him. she has never been good at letting go, either. she is a person who clings to the memories of the people she's lost, and does her best to make new memories with the people she knows she will lose in the future -
so that, even when they pass on, they will never be lost to the sands of time.
it's why she wants so badly to be able to stay up with yin yu, tonight. she will never, ever forget him, and if this is the last night she'll have with him, she wants to bring as many memories of him with her as she possibly can.]
...it likely would not hurt if I fell asleep in these clothes. [she has, at least, changed into warm, clean clothes since her foray into the lake. and when the snake had healed their injuries - they'd healed her cold, too. she's uninjured and healthy again.] I could simply just... stay.
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...but that's a fair compromise. he nods, the echoes of that smile still remaining on his face, unbelievably fond.
one last night. one 'present moment'. ] If you're sure you'll be comfortable, then I think that sounds just fine to me.
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[
one of the worst things about flayn is that she just says things like that, completely sincerely, not even realizing how they sound. sorry if you die again, yin yu.]
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there is no getting used to flayn.
(that is certainly not a bad thing.) ]
...right. I... me too.
[ behind him, a single feather detaches off of his wings and floats to the ground, a little anticlimactically. ]
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but the puffing up of his wings? that's new. (the wings themselves are new, but she hadn't expected that. her eyes widen at the rustling of his feathers, and she looks between him and his wings, then follows that single feather as it floats to the ground.]
Um.
[...]
Did... I say something wrong?
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...ah, no, I just -- it's been. It's been a little while since we've been able to... talk...like this, is all.
[ he's got a negative resistance to flayn being directly so sweet, is what it is, really. that may never change, and neither will the way color takes over his entire face with it. yin yu still feels like he needs to explain more, but that's even more embarrassing, and he just kind of gives up and ducks his head down, mumbling-- ] ...I can't control them very well.
[ the. wings. that is. he's dying again. ]
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maybe she should try to behave. if it's been awhile, and this is startling him - they're not back to square one, exactly, but they're a little bit further back than they were, and she doesn't want to make yin yu uncomfortable. especially if this very well might turn out to be the last night they have together.
when he looks back on these memories, she wants them to bring him joy, not to make him feel awkward.]
I am sorry. [...] I shall try to give you less cause for them to... um, go out of control.
[she'll behave.]
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DW? MY NOTIFS?
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