fishingforcompliments: (Default)
a nice girl who is definitely your age ([personal profile] fishingforcompliments) wrote2020-06-06 12:53 pm
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shixiong: on the outside always looking in (14.)

[personal profile] shixiong 2020-07-12 01:47 pm (UTC)(link)
--ah. [ oh gods he's so embarrassed. flayn hugs him like that and his entire face goes red pretty much instantly, hands hovering awkwardly while the horror movie plays on in the background.

give yin yu a second to get his bearings and get used to being smacked with emotions and also a cute girl suddenly basically attached to him. there's a lot going on right now, and flayn's affection might take him out.

...he's only stiff because he's an awkward, embarrassed, repressed nerd, though, so. after a little bit, he exhales, a breathless sort of flustered laugh, and shifts to return the embrace, letting his arms fall around her to support her where she's holding on.

his own emotions are a lot of that flustered, embarrassed feeling, but - they're warm with that shy happiness of his own, too. ]
shixiong: don't feel good enough for them (48)

[personal profile] shixiong 2020-07-12 02:50 pm (UTC)(link)
[ it is so unbelievably warm. flayn's joy and contentment is practically radiating, seeping into every dark part of him and bringing it to the light. he's utterly forgotten about the movie, too. (how could he remember anything but flayn right now, so warm and so kind and so present?)

he's not used to feeling so much joy. his own emotions are creaky and broken, covered in dirt from the way that he's buried them, and he's feeling weirdly buzzy after saying that out loud. like some sort of adrenaline rush mixed with embarrassment and then flayn's joy.

it's. it's a lot. he's just going to hold her for a minute, making an affirmative 'mmhm' noise in response, and hiding his face in her hair.

(it's kind of nice, to sit like this. not that he will admit it to himself. or to her. but it's kind of nice. that's something to process later.) ]
shixiong: the ramblings of a lunatic (56)

[personal profile] shixiong 2020-07-12 04:05 pm (UTC)(link)
[ ohhhh he is going to perish from flayn being this close to him, actually, not from being beheaded

gods. okay. his composure is completely shattered, but he also isn't running or trying to escape, considering. flayn is a comfortable, warm weight against him like this, though he cannot imagine that leaning over him is that comfortable for her, but... if she wants to stay tucked into his side like this he's not going to stop her, anyway. maybe this is really peace, even if it's embarrassing.

his feelings come through too, nearly overpowered by hers. he's not unhappy. he's not uncomfortable. really, yin yu just seems more baffled that something so small would cause such a huge reaction and also extremely embarrassed. (but happy, too. it's probably fairly obvious that he doesn't want to let go, either.)

yin yu's cheek drops against the top of her head again while he composes himself, looking at the screen for the distraction. he's completely lost track of any sort of plot, so it make even less sense than it already did, even with the female lead looking terrified and running around.

...oh well. there are better things to focus on. ]
...your tea must be getting cold, my -- ... mn. [ its a mumble, what feels like the right thing to say.

.......... she doesnt have to get up. ]
...Flayn. [ TWICE. ]
shixiong: i'm trying to distract myself (91)

tagging this to cope with my suffering

[personal profile] shixiong 2020-07-13 01:45 am (UTC)(link)
The only we learn to become comfortable with anything at all is with practice, my lady-- ah.

...Or, good at it at all, either. [ yin yu says, and it's almost, a tiny bit chiding, like he's teasing? he's chiding himself for it, though. it's true. and - it's not a silly request, for flayn to ask. if they're. if this is a thing they're doing, then it's something they could maybe do, as something closer to equals.

(that feels laughable. really laughable. but if it will make flayn happy, by god, he will try.)

his head tips a bit to look down at her in his arms. on the contrary, he feels a little - he's almost amazed. like he can't believe this is happening. that he was able to make flayn feel that little spark, that that came from him, it was directly related to such a tiny little gesture. yin yu did that. it's. shocking, a little, but in a good way.

there are a lot of things about this he'll have to practice to become comfortable with huh. hm. that's a little embarrassing. ]
shixiong: does anyone listen to this? (53)

this is my emotional support thread

[personal profile] shixiong 2020-07-13 02:20 am (UTC)(link)
[ that completely and utterly throws him for a loop. his head pulls back to look at her properly, and he blinks, wide eyed. his emotions reflect the same, just that he's stunned. ]

...You were jealous? For me?

[ LITERALLY THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED IN HIS ENTIRE LIFE???????? ??? ??? ]
shixiong: so i try and transcend my ego (49)

[personal profile] shixiong 2020-07-13 02:25 am (UTC)(link)
[ he just. blinks at her, kind of stupidly, once, twice, three times.

and then he laughs. it's not at her at all, but it's a bright, honest burst of amusement, startled completely out of him. ]
Pfft--

[ oh no he shouldn't laugh but it's. it's really funny. he has to muffle his laughter into something quieter than the first one, turning his face against the top of her head to smother it. ]
shixiong: face placed under the covers (88)

[personal profile] shixiong 2020-07-13 02:49 am (UTC)(link)
[ he is smiling. it's a little hidden, and his arms squeeze a bit tighter, because he's not sure if he wants her to see his face (or maybe he just doesn't want her to run away, what a strange change). either way, he silences his laughter after a few seconds, but his shoulders are still shaking. ]

I... I'm sorry, haha, Flayn--I just, she nearly refused to talk to me until I dropped the title. [ he was BULLIED. with LOVE and FRIENDSHIP. in the typical persona protagonist way.

how silly. his emotions are mirthful, pleased. so, so very warm. ]
It was always you. [ isn't that obvious? ]
shixiong: the ramblings of a lunatic (61)

[personal profile] shixiong 2020-07-13 03:11 am (UTC)(link)
[ he shakes his head a little to dispel the last of the laughter. really, that is so very silly... it's so wildly beyond fathoming for so many reasons. it's a little sobering, actually, as flayn tucks into his chest like that. maybe she can feel it without the emotion share--his heart's going pretty fast in his chest.

it's not in a bad way, though. the more bright, warm emotions fade to their usual level of quiet, and for a moment, yin yu looks away, at the screen in front of them, because he's letting her hide, but also because he's not sure if he can take it otherwise. yin yu's voice is more serious, too, but soft, too. weighted with a kind of tentative tenderness. ]
...I've never really had any sorts of these interests at all, before.

[ before you, goes unspoken. can flayn not see how absolutely extraordinary she is? how could there be anyone else?] ...And certainly, no one has ever been jealous of anything on my behalf, either.

[ well.

except for jian yu. but that's depressing so we're not bringing that up rn. ]
shixiong: will i ever make a sound? / "waving through a window", dear evan hansen (41)

[personal profile] shixiong 2020-07-13 03:45 am (UTC)(link)
[ his heart feels a little like it's going to explode. what an odd feeling. it's not a bad one, though, too warm and too much, all at once. some of the emotion leaks through, that steadfast, gentle fondness that has been present most of the night now nearly doubled.

he finally looks down. marvels, quietly, at the fact that he did something to deserve whatever's happening between them. a part of yin yu is sure she'll wise up eventually, and an even smaller part is terrified that she'll find out about what he did on the island and run from him, but - she saw what happened to yizhen.

and she stayed.

his thumb strokes gently against her where his hands are settled, the touch small, mostly unconscious. just because it's there. ]
...I am sorry that I led you to believe such a thing. [ it's so wildly out of the realm of possibility. ] But, if it helps, I didn't notice at all.

[ obviously. after a moment, yin yu admits, a little more sheepish on his own end: ] ...To be quite honest, I half expect to awaken from all of this as if from a fever dream any minute now.
shixiong: the ramblings of a lunatic (61)

[personal profile] shixiong 2020-07-13 01:24 pm (UTC)(link)
[ there's nothing more miraculous than the fact that they're both here at all. that somehow, yin yu had fumbled his way to this conclusion. that someone like flayn saw him, period, let alone saw something in him enough that she wants to be here. that she could've been jealous of someone else that was getting his attention. it's - that fact will be baffling to him for the rest of his life (good thing it's short) (haha!)

as she reaches up to touch his cheek, she'll find them to be warm. that's not surprising, probably, because the pink flush there has become near permanent since all of this has started, but... he tips his head into the touch of her fingertips, naturally, instinctively. leaning into the affection, instead of skittering away from it like a scared animal. ]
...If so, then, it's a pleasant one.

[ who knows, maybe all of the sleeping people around are actually the ones awake. that's entirely too complicated.

if they are, though, then it would be nice, to have a nice dream, for once in his life. no nightmares about the past, but something as simple as this. sitting together, enjoying a piece of technology they're both too old to understand, and relishing in quiet, warm, company.

to her touch, the soft echo of his emotions come off as fond. as tender, as affection. it's shy, like he doesn't know how to put such feelings out there (he doesn't) but... it's there, too. ]
shixiong: is this catharsis? (66)

[personal profile] shixiong 2020-07-13 11:05 pm (UTC)(link)
[ i deserved every tiny little knife in this tag

this time, when flayn leans in, yin yu's almost expecting it. it still makes his heart swoosh and dive in his chest, like a bird, and he tips his head down to make it easier for her, automatically, to ease up on the distance between them. maybe in a few weeks, he'll be more easily comfortable - for now, it still takes a moment for him not to be tense.

...but that moment comes shorter, and shorter. slowly, yin yu relaxes when she kisses him--which, for someone who is tense constantly, is a pretty impressive state of being--and settles into the new, nice proximity, not immediate to pull back but rather, lingering in the gentle press for a bit longer than before.

at this point, he also has completely forgotten about the movie, instead quietly focused on flayn, and all of the wonders of the world that have somehow found themselves right here, next to him.
shixiong: no i've got nothing to say (9)

[personal profile] shixiong 2020-07-14 06:11 pm (UTC)(link)
[ never the one to be overly emotional, it is as ever overwhelming to look at flayn when she looks at him like that. he's never been moved to big, grandiose gestures, or expressions, or much of anything. it can't be enough, for someone like flayn, who deserves hua cheng levels of love and devotion, and he knows he's painfully lacking next to just about anything, but --

maybe it's selfish, to want to keep that look for his own. flayn will feel the kind of effect she has on him pretty much immediately; his heart squeezes in his chest like it's being wrung out, the affection choking him up more than anything, keeping him from being able to say anything in response. he just looks back at her, a little confused and a lot happy, overwhelmed, dazed. the expression on his face is unschooled, brows knitted together, but smiling, that tiny, gentle smile that he rarely realizes is there.

lifting his hand away from her side, finally, he reaches up - just to brush his thumb against her cheek, half confirming that it's real, half just to touch. how nice this is. how - how utterly unusual. how perfect. can he kiss her again? would she mind? probably. he's too much of a coward to go for it.

(maybe a few days from now, he'll know it had to be too good to be true, too good to last.) ]

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