[she looks up at him. there's a bit of... uncertainty? she's feeling what he's feeling, but there is a small part of her that wonders if that's really what he's feeling, or if it's just wishful thinking on her part.
because yin yu is - he's wonderful. more wonderful than he realizes, she thinks, and it baffles her that he has trouble seeing himself that way.]
...if something happened to you, I... [she bites her lip.] I do not know if I could bear it.
that looks is so much more troubling than anything. yin yu had made her a promise, to stay there, and he doesn't want to break it. watching her bite her lip like that stirs a small wave of compassion, concern.
he has to try to look out for himself, as much as he can. it's something he can put to the side, for the most part, because he knows he's capable. (tomorrow evening, he will learn his capabilities are the very thing that will be the end of him.) ]
I'll do everything I can to stay safe. [ a pause. ] I... very much feel the same, for you.
[ because he's seen it. he's seen flayn injured. he's seen her worse than that. he's carried her lifeless body to a trial that he only now knows the cause of. each time, he can't seem to protect flayn, enough. but he tries. he's trying. as he reflects for a brief, quiet moment, on everything they've been through, yin yu does lean over. flayn's close to him, now, and their height difference is hard to reconcile in just about any situation, sitting or standing, but here, it's perfect: he's able to press a small, lingering kiss to the top of her head.
because flayn looking up at him like that just makes him want to ensure she doesn't have to make a face like that, again. ]
her breath catches as he tucks her to him and leans down; moments later, she feels the press of his lips against the top of her head. it's a warm, pleasant feeling, being held like this, having him offer her that warm, gentle gesture of affection.
it almost banishes all her worries from her. it certainly leaves her a little tongue-tied.]
I— am sorry. For worrying you, constantly. I am aware that I have a tendency to... find myself in trouble.
[ he's a little embarrassed after such an intimate gesture (forehead kissing, how scandalous), but flayn's surprise and pleasant warmth helps keep him from overloading emotionally, and he's able to focus away from her face so he can actually like, have this conversation.
it comes with a little chuckle, half of an exhale. ] ...it's as you said, we tend to worry each other. [ because they care. ] And, I...certainly wouldn't change your bravery, my lady. If you will get into trouble, then I will always do my best to ensure you return from it safely.
...I suppose that means we make a good team, does it not?
[at least for during the time they're here. when this is over - when they each go their separate ways (gods, she doesn't want to think about that, she wants to focus on the here and now - on the present moment), she won't be there to worry him, and he won't be there to pull her out of trouble.
but they can each remember that the other wants their safety, and take care to keep themselves safe... she hopes, anyway.]
Indeed. [ yin yu's small smile returns to his face, at that. ]
I think we've done well working together so far. [ their break in went - well, it could have been worse! and they've been on investigations together, talked through problems together, set up memorials, learned flower language... there've been many things they've done together, and worrying or not, the still as ever confused part of him collects them as something incredibly dear. each one of those little interactions is a reminder that he exists. ] It's been my honor to stay near your side.
[that brings a smile to flayn's face, too, and she relaxes fully against him.]
It has been my honor to stay near yours.
[if there was some way that they could remain like this, even after escaping from this place, that would be wonderful. but try as she might, she can't think of a way. he has duties to attend to, in his world; she has duties to attend to in hers.
the thought makes her more than a little sad, but it's easy to banish that feeling and replace it with a warm, gentle warmth right now; she's here, with him, and if they have their way, they're not out of time just yet.
[ back when this started a week or so ago, yin yu had seen a precious memory of flayn's, about her mother and her father. though the memory shares were as ever something of an invasion of privacy, in a way he was thankful for it. not because of the knowledge itself, but because of something flayn said within it. from the words of her mother - we cannot turn back the clock. we must live our lives fully, in the present moment.
yin yu has lived most of his life in the past. whether he walked this world as the xianxianyue officer or not, it haunted him, tailed his every single step. it still does, even now, and it's only with slow, coaxing steps that he's found any sort of small happiness away from it. it colors his every decision, his every thought, his every move. the way he feels about himself. and lately, as he finds himself lingering, thinking, as he always has, that mantra in the sound of her voice has started to cut through the darkness.
right now, the regrets that he has - letting flayn get injured again at break in, their struggles on the island - don't matter. in this present moment, the only thing that exists is the film they've ended up watching, and the girl who has relaxed so easily into his side. the worries of the future can come later, too.
just for a little while, maybe yin yu can be allowed to soak up the present, and being present within it.
he looks down at her again, that little smile on his face, and relaxes, too as he turns back to the screen. his emotions radiate softly content, and more than anything, quite grateful--maybe he doesn't need to say anything at all. this film is almost over; the dark and angry colors of the netherworld have been replaced with a brightness of modernity. as the main character burns the portrait of xuan ruan ji to destroy the ghost groom, the family moves into performing an opera once more, this time, in peace. ]
[her thoughts are tending the same way, and her feelings mirror his. it's nice, to stay here with him, to not worry about the past or the future, and to allow themselves this time to just be.
she hadn't thought that it would be possible, but yin yu makes many things possible for her.
with a small sigh of contentment, she returns her attention to the movie. honestly, she's missed a fair amount of what's going on, but even she can see that this has turned out... better than it was. the performance onscreen now lacks the terrified desperation of the exorcism, and it all just seems... very peaceful.
looking at it now, it's difficult to imagine how terrified everyone must have been just minutes earlier.]
...even horror stories can have happy endings.
[she sounds quietly amazed as she watches it.
maybe the horror story they're living will have a happy ending, too.]
[ as the opera carries on, and the heroine is able to live on in peace with her family, watching their performance, yin yu's thinking much of the same. the brighter colors, the warmth of the scene--it's as if everything just stopped. no one is immune to wanting a happy ending, even people who watch these sort of things out of a want for being scared, or some kind of amusement.
flayn voices a kind of hope he wouldn't, but. for a moment, yin yu thinks of the island, of the revivals of everyone on it, of promises made over memorials with a ship on the horizon. a happy ending they had achieved in the face of terror. ]
...so they can.
[ after all this pain, so many people in this place deserved a happy ending. those who had fallen; those who hadn't. the chance that this could all fall behind them is still there, even if it feels faint in the distance. that's something they can continue to work together, for. ]
[she wants that for them - and for everyone else trapped in this camp. whether they're awake or asleep, everyone deserves to be able to live in peace after all this - they deserve some form of happily ever after.
(it's going to get worse before it gets better. maybe it will not ever get better.)]
[ where he's settled, he can't see flayn's face, but the hope in her voice has struck a tentative little flame in him, too. to protect someone means not to give them naive hopes, doesn't it? to be fair, and honest, and good? ]
...we've done it before. [ he says, weight to his tone, a reflective seriousness.
because it won't be a naive hope. because if he has anything to say about it, he will do everything in his power to make it a reality. someone like flayn deserves a happy ending. that light of hers should never have to be snuffed out. (laughs in week 5)
his fingers curl gently in the fabric of her sweatshirt, and he looks down to her face again. yin yu's expression is a little hard to read, but his emotions are less so; there's some determination, a little fear, a lot of resolve, coated by that warm undertone he's come to associate with being by her side. ]
We will do our best to, once more. [ ...for her, and for the sleeping.
whatever the reason for their being here now is, the fact remains that they did bring about a miracle on the island. yin yu reminds her of that, and the hope stirring in his heart stokes the fire in hers.
she breathes out.
if he can be resolved for this, despite his fear - she can, too. that resolve and determination he's feeling are echoed by her, coupled with a warmth that is far more than simple affection. there are the slightest, faintest pinpricks of guilt - but they're eased away by the peace she feels when she's here in yin yu's arms.]
I am looking forward to the day we make that happen.
[when it's over, when this nightmare is finally over—
then, maybe she really will be able to live her life fully, in the present moment, without any doubts or worries or regrets.]
Edited (haha left out a word) 2020-07-19 23:37 (UTC)
[ flayn saying so brings out just a hint of something sad, in yin yu's emotions. something... something lonely. it's tiny.
when this is all over, it... it will be the last time that they see each other, won't it? he had little hope that they would see each other again, even when they pinky promised over it. to suddenly be next to flayn on the bus had been... jarring, and to be thrown into this horrific situation again was worse. her company has been the brightest spot, here.
but flayn doesn't deserve this place and it's games, and its treachery. she deserves her beautiful coastline. she deserves fishing in memory of her mother. her father. her classmates. her magic, her life. and yin yu will go back to the shadows of ghost city, or back to mt. tonglu, to the terrifying eruption of power that awaits them.
when the light of the sun doesn't shine on the moon, the surface of it becomes dark.
inevitably, that is the fate that awaits him, when flayn is gone.
his fingers curl a little tighter, and as the final scene closes, he finally responds. ] ...I am, too.
[ because ultimately, this little piece of happiness that he has found is not just his own. flayn is so unbelievably beloved, it would be selfish for him to think anything otherwise.
he's quiet, for a little longer, as the credits roll, for a moment just watching the screen. ]
[that tiny spark of loneliness creeps in, and flayn clings to yin yu a little more tightly, as if being close to him can banish it.
she wants a happy ending for them all - but also, selfishly, for the two of them. she wants to go home, but she doesn't want to let him go. but she knows, deep down, that she could never ask him to follow her.
he has too many important things to do in his world. his master, his royal highness, his work—
it would be selfish, so selfish, to even consider asking him to leave them aside. so she won't. instead, she'll make the best of the time she has with him, and hope desperately that some way, somehow, when they say goodbye at the end of this, it won't be for the last time.
she shifts upward, just a little, and presses a kiss to his cheek.]
[ flayn will easily feel the way his heart swoops when she kisses his cheek -- this sort of simple, tiny affection just sends him reeling, every single time. it helps to push away some of those darker, unhappier thoughts fairly easily, and flayn will feel him smile, too, just a little. he closes his eyes and dips his head, a nonverbal bit of gratitude that reflects easily back to her.
it's something to think about, for later. for now... even someone like yin yu can have just a few snatched moments of happiness, right?
the film returns to the title screen, and he glances back as the music changes, finally, a bit surprised. oh... it's over. hm.... he's not sure he really wants to go back to the cabin yet. ]
....Flayn, [ there's a brief trip of nerves there, and his face pinkens a little, but - ] ...did you happen to bring that novel, with you?
[...she doesn't want to go back to their cabins, either. she's trying to think of some way to make this last a little longer (suggest another movie that they won't pay attention to, perhaps?), wondering if he would want the same thing, if he would even agree to—
and then he speaks up.
her cheeks flush faintly, and she can't help but smile. he isn't ready for this to be over yet, either.]
I did. [i decided just now that she did.] ...would you like to read a little more, together?
[ he was hoping, anticipating..... and there’s a feeling of him being just a little pleased, when flayn says so. yin yu exhales, and nods, up and down. ]
I’d like that very much. [ ..... not that he wants to really.... move from where he’s settled so warm and close to flayn but that’s fine, he’ll still - ] I can fetch it.
[...she doesn't really want him to move either but she supposes, if they're going to read, one of them will have to. it doesn't really stop her from pouting, but she gestures vaguely in the general direction of the book.]
[ okay. right. yin yu ends up staying there for a second too long, lingering, before he finally absolves with himself to get up. as he starts to move, yin yu blinks, and pauses, as he notices flayn still clinging to him, almost pouting.
....it puts an embarrassed smile on his face, and yin yu ducks his head to look away from her to hide it. they're--this is something. ] ...Flayn.
[ you gotta.
you gotta let him get up.
(how absolutely novel to think, that someone would want his presence so much they wouldn't want him to leave. it blows yin yu away, every time, and she'll feel the warm, squirming way his feelings curl up at it, amazed and quietly in love.) ]
[ it absolutely takes him an extra second to move after that because he really doesn't want to now.
....right. okay. well! yin yu bows his head and gets up quickly, practically unfolding from where he's settled, and hurries over to fetch the book from flayn's things. he finds it quickly, and, as requested, comes right back.
getting comfortable again with flayn - or, rather, allowing himself to do so - is going to be a different challenge entirely for him, considering he's still more flustered than is necessary and also awkward, but! yin yu sits back where he was before, book in hand. ]
...Is this a comfortable enough way for you to sit...? [ and he has to stop himself from saying "my lady", again, which means he just sort of trails off at the end. help him please he's struggling. ]
she kind of wants to sit in his lap, actually, so that she can lean back against him and his arms can be around her while they hold the book directly in front of themselves to read it. but that seems a little forward to suggest, even for her.
[ he might die of embarrassment, but he sure wouldn't say no! so there's that.
yin yu nods, a little flustered, as he settles back in to where he was before, leaning back against the couch. there's a beat, like he's still trying to decide what to do, before he just ... lifts his arm so she can scoot in a little closer again, if she'd like.
it's subtle, and his ears are red, but if she wants to tuck back close into his side again, that... that would be nice. ]
it would, perhaps, be more appropriate for her to hesitate at least a little before she scoots in close to his side - but she doesn't. she likes the feeling of being close to him, of sharing her warmth with him, and, well...
it's just the two of them here, isn't it? it shouldn't matter to anyone else what is or isn't proper, here. that's for them to decide.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fishingforcompliments) wrote2020-06-06 12:53 pm
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[she looks up at him. there's a bit of... uncertainty? she's feeling what he's feeling, but there is a small part of her that wonders if that's really what he's feeling, or if it's just wishful thinking on her part.
because yin yu is - he's wonderful. more wonderful than he realizes, she thinks, and it baffles her that he has trouble seeing himself that way.]
...if something happened to you, I... [she bites her lip.] I do not know if I could bear it.
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that looks is so much more troubling than anything. yin yu had made her a promise, to stay there, and he doesn't want to break it. watching her bite her lip like that stirs a small wave of compassion, concern.
he has to try to look out for himself, as much as he can. it's something he can put to the side, for the most part, because he knows he's capable. (tomorrow evening, he will learn his capabilities are the very thing that will be the end of him.) ]
I'll do everything I can to stay safe. [ a pause. ] I... very much feel the same, for you.
[ because he's seen it. he's seen flayn injured. he's seen her worse than that. he's carried her lifeless body to a trial that he only now knows the cause of. each time, he can't seem to protect flayn, enough. but he tries. he's trying. as he reflects for a brief, quiet moment, on everything they've been through, yin yu does lean over. flayn's close to him, now, and their height difference is hard to reconcile in just about any situation, sitting or standing, but here, it's perfect: he's able to press a small, lingering kiss to the top of her head.
because flayn looking up at him like that just makes him want to ensure she doesn't have to make a face like that, again. ]
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her breath catches as he tucks her to him and leans down; moments later, she feels the press of his lips against the top of her head. it's a warm, pleasant feeling, being held like this, having him offer her that warm, gentle gesture of affection.
it almost banishes all her worries from her. it certainly leaves her a little tongue-tied.]
I— am sorry. For worrying you, constantly. I am aware that I have a tendency to... find myself in trouble.
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it comes with a little chuckle, half of an exhale. ] ...it's as you said, we tend to worry each other. [ because they care. ] And, I...certainly wouldn't change your bravery, my lady. If you will get into trouble, then I will always do my best to ensure you return from it safely.
[ even if that trouble is just a jumpscare. ]
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[at least for during the time they're here. when this is over - when they each go their separate ways (gods, she doesn't want to think about that, she wants to focus on the here and now - on the present moment), she won't be there to worry him, and he won't be there to pull her out of trouble.
but they can each remember that the other wants their safety, and take care to keep themselves safe... she hopes, anyway.]
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I think we've done well working together so far. [ their break in went - well, it could have been worse! and they've been on investigations together, talked through problems together, set up memorials, learned flower language... there've been many things they've done together, and worrying or not, the still as ever confused part of him collects them as something incredibly dear. each one of those little interactions is a reminder that he exists. ] It's been my honor to stay near your side.
[ ... ] ...in many capacities. [ .//. ]
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It has been my honor to stay near yours.
[if there was some way that they could remain like this, even after escaping from this place, that would be wonderful. but try as she might, she can't think of a way. he has duties to attend to, in his world; she has duties to attend to in hers.
the thought makes her more than a little sad, but it's easy to banish that feeling and replace it with a warm, gentle warmth right now; she's here, with him, and if they have their way, they're not out of time just yet.
(it's tomorrow, that they'll run out of time.)]
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yin yu has lived most of his life in the past. whether he walked this world as the xianxianyue officer or not, it haunted him, tailed his every single step. it still does, even now, and it's only with slow, coaxing steps that he's found any sort of small happiness away from it. it colors his every decision, his every thought, his every move. the way he feels about himself. and lately, as he finds himself lingering, thinking, as he always has, that mantra in the sound of her voice has started to cut through the darkness.
right now, the regrets that he has - letting flayn get injured again at break in, their struggles on the island - don't matter. in this present moment, the only thing that exists is the film they've ended up watching, and the girl who has relaxed so easily into his side. the worries of the future can come later, too.
just for a little while, maybe yin yu can be allowed to soak up the present, and being present within it.
he looks down at her again, that little smile on his face, and relaxes, too as he turns back to the screen. his emotions radiate softly content, and more than anything, quite grateful--maybe he doesn't need to say anything at all. this film is almost over; the dark and angry colors of the netherworld have been replaced with a brightness of modernity. as the main character burns the portrait of xuan ruan ji to destroy the ghost groom, the family moves into performing an opera once more, this time, in peace. ]
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she hadn't thought that it would be possible, but yin yu makes many things possible for her.
with a small sigh of contentment, she returns her attention to the movie. honestly, she's missed a fair amount of what's going on, but even she can see that this has turned out... better than it was. the performance onscreen now lacks the terrified desperation of the exorcism, and it all just seems... very peaceful.
looking at it now, it's difficult to imagine how terrified everyone must have been just minutes earlier.]
...even horror stories can have happy endings.
[she sounds quietly amazed as she watches it.
maybe the horror story they're living will have a happy ending, too.]
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flayn voices a kind of hope he wouldn't, but. for a moment, yin yu thinks of the island, of the revivals of everyone on it, of promises made over memorials with a ship on the horizon. a happy ending they had achieved in the face of terror. ]
...so they can.
[ after all this pain, so many people in this place deserved a happy ending. those who had fallen; those who hadn't. the chance that this could all fall behind them is still there, even if it feels faint in the distance. that's something they can continue to work together, for. ]
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(it's going to get worse before it gets better. maybe it will not ever get better.)]
...do you think we can, too, Yin Yu?
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...we've done it before. [ he says, weight to his tone, a reflective seriousness.
because it won't be a naive hope. because if he has anything to say about it, he will do everything in his power to make it a reality. someone like flayn deserves a happy ending. that light of hers should never have to be snuffed out. (laughs in week 5)
his fingers curl gently in the fabric of her sweatshirt, and he looks down to her face again. yin yu's expression is a little hard to read, but his emotions are less so; there's some determination, a little fear, a lot of resolve, coated by that warm undertone he's come to associate with being by her side. ]
We will do our best to, once more. [ ...for her, and for the sleeping.
maybe... maybe for them too. ]
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whatever the reason for their being here now is, the fact remains that they did bring about a miracle on the island. yin yu reminds her of that, and the hope stirring in his heart stokes the fire in hers.
she breathes out.
if he can be resolved for this, despite his fear - she can, too. that resolve and determination he's feeling are echoed by her, coupled with a warmth that is far more than simple affection. there are the slightest, faintest pinpricks of guilt - but they're eased away by the peace she feels when she's here in yin yu's arms.]
I am looking forward to the day we make that happen.
[when it's over, when this nightmare is finally over—
then, maybe she really will be able to live her life fully, in the present moment, without any doubts or worries or regrets.]
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when this is all over, it... it will be the last time that they see each other, won't it? he had little hope that they would see each other again, even when they pinky promised over it. to suddenly be next to flayn on the bus had been... jarring, and to be thrown into this horrific situation again was worse. her company has been the brightest spot, here.
but flayn doesn't deserve this place and it's games, and its treachery. she deserves her beautiful coastline. she deserves fishing in memory of her mother. her father. her classmates. her magic, her life. and yin yu will go back to the shadows of ghost city, or back to mt. tonglu, to the terrifying eruption of power that awaits them.
when the light of the sun doesn't shine on the moon, the surface of it becomes dark.
inevitably, that is the fate that awaits him, when flayn is gone.
his fingers curl a little tighter, and as the final scene closes, he finally responds. ] ...I am, too.
[ because ultimately, this little piece of happiness that he has found is not just his own. flayn is so unbelievably beloved, it would be selfish for him to think anything otherwise.
he's quiet, for a little longer, as the credits roll, for a moment just watching the screen. ]
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she wants a happy ending for them all - but also, selfishly, for the two of them. she wants to go home, but she doesn't want to let him go. but she knows, deep down, that she could never ask him to follow her.
he has too many important things to do in his world. his master, his royal highness, his work—
it would be selfish, so selfish, to even consider asking him to leave them aside. so she won't. instead, she'll make the best of the time she has with him, and hope desperately that some way, somehow, when they say goodbye at the end of this, it won't be for the last time.
she shifts upward, just a little, and presses a kiss to his cheek.]
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it's something to think about, for later. for now... even someone like yin yu can have just a few snatched moments of happiness, right?
the film returns to the title screen, and he glances back as the music changes, finally, a bit surprised. oh... it's over. hm.... he's not sure he really wants to go back to the cabin yet. ]
....Flayn, [ there's a brief trip of nerves there, and his face pinkens a little, but - ] ...did you happen to bring that novel, with you?
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and then he speaks up.
her cheeks flush faintly, and she can't help but smile. he isn't ready for this to be over yet, either.]
I did. [i decided just now that she did.] ...would you like to read a little more, together?
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I’d like that very much. [ ..... not that he wants to really.... move from where he’s settled so warm and close to flayn but that’s fine, he’ll still - ] I can fetch it.
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[...she doesn't really want him to move either but she supposes, if they're going to read, one of them will have to. it doesn't really stop her from pouting, but she gestures vaguely in the general direction of the book.]
It is right over there. Thank you.
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....it puts an embarrassed smile on his face, and yin yu ducks his head to look away from her to hide it. they're--this is something. ] ...Flayn.
[ you gotta.
you gotta let him get up.
(how absolutely novel to think, that someone would want his presence so much they wouldn't want him to leave. it blows yin yu away, every time, and she'll feel the warm, squirming way his feelings curl up at it, amazed and quietly in love.) ]
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[she does not look at all happy about it (this fool), but she slowly loosens her hold on him, then draws back so he can get up.
hurry back, yin yu.]
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....right. okay. well! yin yu bows his head and gets up quickly, practically unfolding from where he's settled, and hurries over to fetch the book from flayn's things. he finds it quickly, and, as requested, comes right back.
getting comfortable again with flayn - or, rather, allowing himself to do so - is going to be a different challenge entirely for him, considering he's still more flustered than is necessary and also awkward, but! yin yu sits back where he was before, book in hand. ]
...Is this a comfortable enough way for you to sit...? [ and he has to stop himself from saying "my lady", again, which means he just sort of trails off at the end. help him please he's struggling. ]
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she kind of wants to sit in his lap, actually, so that she can lean back against him and his arms can be around her while they hold the book directly in front of themselves to read it. but that seems a little forward to suggest, even for her.
as they are now is fine.]
I - yes. It is.
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yin yu nods, a little flustered, as he settles back in to where he was before, leaning back against the couch. there's a beat, like he's still trying to decide what to do, before he just ... lifts his arm so she can scoot in a little closer again, if she'd like.
it's subtle, and his ears are red, but if she wants to tuck back close into his side again, that... that would be nice. ]
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that's even better.
it would, perhaps, be more appropriate for her to hesitate at least a little before she scoots in close to his side - but she doesn't. she likes the feeling of being close to him, of sharing her warmth with him, and, well...
it's just the two of them here, isn't it? it shouldn't matter to anyone else what is or isn't proper, here. that's for them to decide.
(her cheeks are warm, though.)]
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