[ he is smiling. it's a little hidden, and his arms squeeze a bit tighter, because he's not sure if he wants her to see his face (or maybe he just doesn't want her to run away, what a strange change). either way, he silences his laughter after a few seconds, but his shoulders are still shaking. ]
I... I'm sorry, haha, Flayn--I just, she nearly refused to talk to me until I dropped the title. [ he was BULLIED. with LOVE and FRIENDSHIP. in the typical persona protagonist way.
how silly. his emotions are mirthful, pleased. so, so very warm. ] It was always you. [ isn't that obvious? ]
[should she have refused to talk to him, then? ...no, no, that would never have worked. she likes talking to him too much for that; she would have caved and responded to him even when he called her lady.]
I... [she's an idiot. with a small, embarrassed noise, she -
well, she doesn't run away. instead, she buries her face in his chest. she might be hiding, a little, but she's hiding by getting even closer to him.] I am very glad to hear that.
[ he shakes his head a little to dispel the last of the laughter. really, that is so very silly... it's so wildly beyond fathoming for so many reasons. it's a little sobering, actually, as flayn tucks into his chest like that. maybe she can feel it without the emotion share--his heart's going pretty fast in his chest.
it's not in a bad way, though. the more bright, warm emotions fade to their usual level of quiet, and for a moment, yin yu looks away, at the screen in front of them, because he's letting her hide, but also because he's not sure if he can take it otherwise. yin yu's voice is more serious, too, but soft, too. weighted with a kind of tentative tenderness. ] ...I've never really had any sorts of these interests at all, before.
[ before you, goes unspoken. can flayn not see how absolutely extraordinary she is? how could there be anyone else?] ...And certainly, no one has ever been jealous of anything on my behalf, either.
[ well.
except for jian yu. but that's depressing so we're not bringing that up rn. ]
yin yu may not be a perfect person - but nobody is. everyone makes mistakes, and in a life as long as the one he's lived, some of those mistakes are certainly bound to be costly. that's the way of life.
but flayn had never been one to judge someone for that sort of thing. as her mother always said, you must live your life fully, in the present moment. what someone has done in the past or what they might do in the future are less important than what they are doing now, and she adores the person that yin yu is.
his quiet, gentle kindness - his determination to work hard and do the right thing - the way he is always, always there when she needs him...
he's extraordinary. and tucked up against him, her face hiding in the fabric of his robes, he'll be able to feel her disbelief that there are not other people out there who can see how special he is.]
...be that as it may, it... it is the truth. [...] I tried very hard not to let it bother me...
[if he'd wanted to be with minako, she would have tried to support that. she'd have hated every moment of it! but she would have tried.]
[ his heart feels a little like it's going to explode. what an odd feeling. it's not a bad one, though, too warm and too much, all at once. some of the emotion leaks through, that steadfast, gentle fondness that has been present most of the night now nearly doubled.
he finally looks down. marvels, quietly, at the fact that he did something to deserve whatever's happening between them. a part of yin yu is sure she'll wise up eventually, and an even smaller part is terrified that she'll find out about what he did on the island and run from him, but - she saw what happened to yizhen.
and she stayed.
his thumb strokes gently against her where his hands are settled, the touch small, mostly unconscious. just because it's there. ] ...I am sorry that I led you to believe such a thing. [ it's so wildly out of the realm of possibility. ] But, if it helps, I didn't notice at all.
[ obviously. after a moment, yin yu admits, a little more sheepish on his own end: ] ...To be quite honest, I half expect to awaken from all of this as if from a fever dream any minute now.
[she hadn't wanted to trouble him with her jealousy - especially not since, at the time, there hadn't really been anything between them but unacknowledged feelings. what right did she have to get jealous? he could make his own choices. if he'd wanted to be with someone else, that would have been fair.
but, miraculously, he hadn't. flayn can't pinpoint any one particular moment when she had begun to think, I want to be with him, but she can recognize that he'd only become more and more important to her as the weeks had gone on, even back on the island.
...even back then, she hadn't wanted to say goodbye to him.]
A dream? [her brow furrows, and she pulls back enough to look up at him. her cheeks are a little flushed, but her expression is earnest, and she reaches up with one hand to cup his cheeks.] I can assure you, it is not.
[a pause]
...or else we are both dreaming, and I shall soon wake up from it, too.
[ there's nothing more miraculous than the fact that they're both here at all. that somehow, yin yu had fumbled his way to this conclusion. that someone like flayn saw him, period, let alone saw something in him enough that she wants to be here. that she could've been jealous of someone else that was getting his attention. it's - that fact will be baffling to him for the rest of his life (good thing it's short) (haha!)
as she reaches up to touch his cheek, she'll find them to be warm. that's not surprising, probably, because the pink flush there has become near permanent since all of this has started, but... he tips his head into the touch of her fingertips, naturally, instinctively. leaning into the affection, instead of skittering away from it like a scared animal. ] ...If so, then, it's a pleasant one.
[ who knows, maybe all of the sleeping people around are actually the ones awake. that's entirely too complicated.
if they are, though, then it would be nice, to have a nice dream, for once in his life. no nightmares about the past, but something as simple as this. sitting together, enjoying a piece of technology they're both too old to understand, and relishing in quiet, warm, company.
to her touch, the soft echo of his emotions come off as fond. as tender, as affection. it's shy, like he doesn't know how to put such feelings out there (he doesn't) but... it's there, too. ]
if it is a dream, flayn doesn't want to wake up from it. but it's real, and that's even better - because that means it can go on and on for much longer than a dream would.
there is the chance, of course, that something could go terribly wrong. that something might separate them - that there might, someday, be an end to this. but that thought is as far from her mind as it's possible to be, right now.
yin yu has managed to make her feel at peace when she hadn't thought that was possible, anymore.
with the warmth of his affection settling over her heart, flayn smiles, and leans in close to press a gentle kiss to his lips. the moment feels right, so... why not go for it?
after all, you never know how much time you'll have with someone.]
this time, when flayn leans in, yin yu's almost expecting it. it still makes his heart swoosh and dive in his chest, like a bird, and he tips his head down to make it easier for her, automatically, to ease up on the distance between them. maybe in a few weeks, he'll be more easily comfortable - for now, it still takes a moment for him not to be tense.
...but that moment comes shorter, and shorter. slowly, yin yu relaxes when she kisses him--which, for someone who is tense constantly, is a pretty impressive state of being--and settles into the new, nice proximity, not immediate to pull back but rather, lingering in the gentle press for a bit longer than before.
at this point, he also has completely forgotten about the movie, instead quietly focused on flayn, and all of the wonders of the world that have somehow found themselves right here, next to him.
...it really does feel like a dream. a wonderful one, one that she never wants to wake up from. if you had called her on her feelings weeks ago, she would have laughed a little and maybe thought about acting on them when this was all over.
(or maybe she wouldn't have. hurting yin yu isn't an option - and to tell him something like that right before they would be parted seems a little cruel.)
but, truth be told, she's glad it worked out like this. she's glad to be able to spend this sort of time with him now, to give them both something wonderful to hold onto - she's sort of had the feeling for a while now that although they have both been insisting they'll find a way out of this, hope was getting hard to hold onto.
it's much easier, with him here. she lingers on the kiss, and looks up at him with an expression of such adoration that he probably doesn't need the contact to know that's exactly how she feels.]
[ never the one to be overly emotional, it is as ever overwhelming to look at flayn when she looks at him like that. he's never been moved to big, grandiose gestures, or expressions, or much of anything. it can't be enough, for someone like flayn, who deserves hua cheng levels of love and devotion, and he knows he's painfully lacking next to just about anything, but --
maybe it's selfish, to want to keep that look for his own. flayn will feel the kind of effect she has on him pretty much immediately; his heart squeezes in his chest like it's being wrung out, the affection choking him up more than anything, keeping him from being able to say anything in response. he just looks back at her, a little confused and a lot happy, overwhelmed, dazed. the expression on his face is unschooled, brows knitted together, but smiling, that tiny, gentle smile that he rarely realizes is there.
lifting his hand away from her side, finally, he reaches up - just to brush his thumb against her cheek, half confirming that it's real, half just to touch. how nice this is. how - how utterly unusual. how perfect. can he kiss her again? would she mind? probably. he's too much of a coward to go for it.
(maybe a few days from now, he'll know it had to be too good to be true, too good to last.) ]
[her cheek is warm under his touch, as his thumb brushes against her skin - and the feeling he'll get from her is a rush of warmth and affection and just the teeniest, tiniest bit of longing.
he might not have the guts to go through with it, but she definitely wouldn't mind if he did lean in and kiss her. she would never mind that.
(he's told her before, that she could never take advantage of him - but really, that goes both ways. flayn can't imagine yin yu ever taking advantage of her because she thinks she would like whatever it is he might try, if anything.)
he'll feel it, too, as she takes in the sight of that small, gentle smile - it just makes her feel warm and affectionate and endlessly, endlessly charmed. yin yu's smiles don't come easily - which makes them all the more precious when they do.
she reaches up, cups his cheek with one hand, and looks into his eyes. honestly, she's not sure if she could look away.]
yin yu picks up on that little bit of longing, unfortunately. he picks up on all the things, although it's hard to do anything but want to squirm away from the tidal wave of affection and charmed warmth. it's like staring directly into the sun, and she's looking right at him, and the fact that flayn feels all of that about him is --
it's too much. he exhales, not quite a wheeze, and leans forward to bonk their foreheads together, gently, closing his eyes. the first time that flayn kissed him he'd done much of the same, overwhelmed and embarrassed because he's beyond out of his comfort zone. flayn can probably tell from their emotions; he's wildly flustered and too repressed for this.
...but he's happy, too. it's a tentative undercurrent under the embarrassment, but it's still there.
after a long moment like that, still pressed together, yin yu mumbles: ] ...sorry. [ for being really bad at this. and for being a weenie. and for not being anything like the romance novel protagonist she gets to read about. staring lovingly into each other's eyes with no pause for hours seems like a chengzhu and dianxia thing to do. ]
[...ah. yes, she can feel that - and as his forehead touches hers and his eyes slide shut, she's able to close hers, as well. it's easier to look away when he isn't looking directly at her.
his embarrassment mingles with hers, and after a moment, he'll get a sort of apologetic feeling - but it's coupled with fondness.]
You do not need to apologize to me. [her voice is gentle.] We can take this slowly. I am happy just to be with you... I do not need anything more if you are not ready.
[ there's a little lizard part of his brain that tries to run skittering wildly off with the phrase "anything more" but yin yu shuts that shit down before it goes anywhere even more embarrassing.
he's a little more sheepish, this time. ] I'm fine, it's just - ah. [ gods above. his ears are starting to burn, and his shoulders hunch, but he doesn't run off and hide. ] ...it's just all rather new.
...My lady will have to guide me, is all. [ oh god he's so flustered. the normal nickname comes back, this time, and she can probably feel yin yu cringe at himself for using it, mentally, but this train is already out of the station. ] And forgive me, as well. I... did promise that I would let you know if there was ever something I did not want to do.
[ maybe the heavenly emperor will strike him down with lightning where he's sitting. ]
Edited (forgets entire words? its fine) 2020-07-15 13:59 (UTC)
[there's no sharp pang of disappointment, this time - partly because they've talked about it, a little; partly because he's so obviously flustered here that she's more than willing to allow him anything if it helps him calm down.
she doesn't want him to start associating feeling uncomfortable with her.]
I can guide you, that is not a problem. [...] ...and... it is alright. It takes time to get used to speaking up.
[at least this happened during emotionshare week when she could feel it and stop immediately.]
[ actually yeah, for as embarrassing as emotions hare has been most of the time, this is pretty useful. yin yu's feeling less vulnerable than last week, now that the memories are gone, and even if the rush of his emotions related to flayn are vastly overwhelming in such close proximity, it's... it's not a bad thing.
he'd take it over sharing with lili again. (that was way too much.)
from where they're still pressed close together, she'll feel his head move, the beginnings of a nod. ] Thank you, Flayn. [ even that's starting to feel a little more comfortable, even if it gives him a spike of fluttering warmth every time he uses it. she is terrible for his blood pressure, but that's fine.
his tone's softly joking, poking at himself. ] Even speaking to others is still rather difficult for me, my lady. [ he sucks at this it's fine.
yin yu pulls back just a little to look at her again, feeling heartened and also slightly less overwhelmed, the smile on his face small and reflecting his fondness, his gratitude. ] If there's something that you'd like, then I'm happy to provide it. It's out of no obligation or sense of duty. [ ... he shifts, a little, embarrassed again, gaze flicking to the side. ] ...I just would like to make you happy.
[ ... ] ....and I'm sure it would most likely make me happy, too. [ .///. ]
[he'll feel a surge of that warm, giddy happiness again when he calls her by her name. even if she's managing not to be disappointed by my lady, there's no disguising the way her heart practically sings when he remembers to leave off the title.
her cheeks flush, and she smiles back at him, listening as he explains. that... sounds very much like what she's come to expect of him, and gods, she hopes it's true that it would make him happy, if he allowed her to.]
...the truth is, I am not quite sure what to ask for. [she actually sounds - and feels - a little flustered.] But I like... being able to show you how I feel about you, since words are... words can be difficult.
Words are very difficult. [ he agrees pretty much immediately, yeah. you're just preaching to the choir there, flayn.
settled close like this, his arm still around her, head ducked a little so the proximity doesn't change, it's easy to feel more comfortable, though, and it's almost a bit comforting to know that they're fumbling through the dark together, in some ways. flayn's miles more competent emotionally than yin yu could ever dream to be, but, she's coaxed him this far out of his shell. surely anything else is possible.
absently, his thumb rubs up and down where his other hand is still settled on her back. he doesn't even realize he's doing it; the gesture is just because she's there, a quiet revelation in her presence. he huffs a quiet laugh, shaking his head just a bit. ] I think it's easy to tell, though. [ i just am not sure if i can believe it's happening, goes unsaid. there's that sense of disbelieving, warm confusion, but, it's not a bad sense to have. he just can't believe something this good is happening to -- well, to him. like. why.
...there's also... lamely, after a quiet, embarrassed moment, he looks away and mumbles: ] ...this is all fine. [ everything. yeah. ] I like it too.
[she's so comfortable with him, even with how new this is for the both of them. flayn can't help but marvel over it. hundreds of thousands - millions - maybe even billions of people, in both their worlds. countless other worlds on top of that.
and they somehow manage to meet?
...they somehow manage to feel the same way about each other?
it feels like a miracle, like it's almost too good to be true. (could anything really be too good in a game of death? in two games of death?)]
[ me: I’m going to bed. also me: a liar with a phone
yin yu nods as she says so, and feels some of the weight of embarrassment loosen off of his shoulders. he’s able to relax, like this, arm around flayn, touch gentle and intimate, even peek back to glance at her properly. this time when he thinks, I should kiss her, it’s a little easier to lean forward.
so! as he tips forward to do so, feeling lighter than he has in years, feeling warmer than he has in years, just feeling something that isn’t the endless numb void of depression and guilt, yin yu does, gently, kiss her.
the problem is that about two seconds later there’s a BANG of a jump scare from the film behind them. ]
anyway. it's a perfectly nice moment - romantic, even, despite the fact that they're trapped in a camp where people die each week. (flayn had not thought many things could be romantic in a place like this.)
but yin yu's lips on her own make her feel warm and content - at least, for the two seconds they're there before the BANG on the television screen. flayn's shriek is muffled by his lips, but she clutches to him tightly, startled - more from the suddenness of the sound than because it was actually scary at all.
with a gasp, she pulls back, then buries her face in his shoulder.]
[ they're stuck in a deadly murder camp. any sort of noise can be threatening, which means when the noise goes, yin yu also startles like a cat, his arm immediately tightening around flayn's waist to pull her closer, protective, his other hand up, ready to fight -
....
and then it's nothing. all of the pent up tension goes out of him like a balloon, and yin yu glances over her shoulder to the tv screen. the ghost bride is haunting the main woman, shrieking and yelling and now making a ton of noise as they attempt to do some kind of exorcism. ]
...the movie. [ he says, shaking his head at himself for being too jumpy, a quiet chuckle in his voice as he loosens his grip. ridiculous... so ridiculous... ]
(he may get a sense of that, just briefly, before she tamps down on it. no, she told him they could take this slow - or at least more slowly. his own pace.
it strikes her as sort of funny - in the stories she hears, it's usually the other way around.)]
...ah - that is right. I did not realize it would be so... loud.
[she speaks the words into his shoulder. should she get up? should she let go of him? she probably could, but it's warm and comfortable, being here like this. at least the movie being scary ("scary") gives her an excuse to cling to him, even if she isn't actually scared at all.]
[ sorry for your lack of romance novel hero flayn :( you are the romance novel hero all along
yin yu's observant nature means he does not miss out on that wish of hers, and... though he'd already started to let go, he pauses.
this emotion share thing is... you know, it's been kind of terrible all week long? but right now, it's. it's really useful. some of the flush returns to his cheeks, but, slowly, he replaces his arm. the grip is less "incoming danger i will protect you with everything" and more holding her close to him, his fingers hovering briefly before his arm settles around her waist a little tighter than before. scandalous.
yin yu absolutely can only look at the screen while this is happening, too embarrassed to look at her properly, because the minute he does he will give into propriety and move. ]
I suppose that's one way to make things 'scary'... [ like startling a little kid during a game... well, ok. it did make yin yu jump, even, so it's not like he's immune. ] ...it startled me, too.
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fishingforcompliments) wrote2020-06-06 12:53 pm
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I... I'm sorry, haha, Flayn--I just, she nearly refused to talk to me until I dropped the title. [ he was BULLIED. with LOVE and FRIENDSHIP. in the typical persona protagonist way.
how silly. his emotions are mirthful, pleased. so, so very warm. ] It was always you. [ isn't that obvious? ]
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[should she have refused to talk to him, then? ...no, no, that would never have worked. she likes talking to him too much for that; she would have caved and responded to him even when he called her lady.]
I... [she's an idiot. with a small, embarrassed noise, she -
well, she doesn't run away. instead, she buries her face in his chest. she might be hiding, a little, but she's hiding by getting even closer to him.] I am very glad to hear that.
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it's not in a bad way, though. the more bright, warm emotions fade to their usual level of quiet, and for a moment, yin yu looks away, at the screen in front of them, because he's letting her hide, but also because he's not sure if he can take it otherwise. yin yu's voice is more serious, too, but soft, too. weighted with a kind of tentative tenderness. ] ...I've never really had any sorts of these interests at all, before.
[ before you, goes unspoken. can flayn not see how absolutely extraordinary she is? how could there be anyone else?] ...And certainly, no one has ever been jealous of anything on my behalf, either.
[ well.
except for jian yu. but that's depressing so we're not bringing that up rn. ]
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yin yu may not be a perfect person - but nobody is. everyone makes mistakes, and in a life as long as the one he's lived, some of those mistakes are certainly bound to be costly. that's the way of life.
but flayn had never been one to judge someone for that sort of thing. as her mother always said, you must live your life fully, in the present moment. what someone has done in the past or what they might do in the future are less important than what they are doing now, and she adores the person that yin yu is.
his quiet, gentle kindness - his determination to work hard and do the right thing - the way he is always, always there when she needs him...
he's extraordinary. and tucked up against him, her face hiding in the fabric of his robes, he'll be able to feel her disbelief that there are not other people out there who can see how special he is.]
...be that as it may, it... it is the truth. [...] I tried very hard not to let it bother me...
[if he'd wanted to be with minako, she would have tried to support that. she'd have hated every moment of it! but she would have tried.]
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he finally looks down. marvels, quietly, at the fact that he did something to deserve whatever's happening between them. a part of yin yu is sure she'll wise up eventually, and an even smaller part is terrified that she'll find out about what he did on the island and run from him, but - she saw what happened to yizhen.
and she stayed.
his thumb strokes gently against her where his hands are settled, the touch small, mostly unconscious. just because it's there. ] ...I am sorry that I led you to believe such a thing. [ it's so wildly out of the realm of possibility. ] But, if it helps, I didn't notice at all.
[ obviously. after a moment, yin yu admits, a little more sheepish on his own end: ] ...To be quite honest, I half expect to awaken from all of this as if from a fever dream any minute now.
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[she hadn't wanted to trouble him with her jealousy - especially not since, at the time, there hadn't really been anything between them but unacknowledged feelings. what right did she have to get jealous? he could make his own choices. if he'd wanted to be with someone else, that would have been fair.
but, miraculously, he hadn't. flayn can't pinpoint any one particular moment when she had begun to think, I want to be with him, but she can recognize that he'd only become more and more important to her as the weeks had gone on, even back on the island.
...even back then, she hadn't wanted to say goodbye to him.]
A dream? [her brow furrows, and she pulls back enough to look up at him. her cheeks are a little flushed, but her expression is earnest, and she reaches up with one hand to cup his cheeks.] I can assure you, it is not.
[a pause]
...or else we are both dreaming, and I shall soon wake up from it, too.
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as she reaches up to touch his cheek, she'll find them to be warm. that's not surprising, probably, because the pink flush there has become near permanent since all of this has started, but... he tips his head into the touch of her fingertips, naturally, instinctively. leaning into the affection, instead of skittering away from it like a scared animal. ] ...If so, then, it's a pleasant one.
[ who knows, maybe all of the sleeping people around are actually the ones awake. that's entirely too complicated.
if they are, though, then it would be nice, to have a nice dream, for once in his life. no nightmares about the past, but something as simple as this. sitting together, enjoying a piece of technology they're both too old to understand, and relishing in quiet, warm, company.
to her touch, the soft echo of his emotions come off as fond. as tender, as affection. it's shy, like he doesn't know how to put such feelings out there (he doesn't) but... it's there, too. ]
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if it is a dream, flayn doesn't want to wake up from it. but it's real, and that's even better - because that means it can go on and on for much longer than a dream would.
there is the chance, of course, that something could go terribly wrong. that something might separate them - that there might, someday, be an end to this. but that thought is as far from her mind as it's possible to be, right now.
yin yu has managed to make her feel at peace when she hadn't thought that was possible, anymore.
with the warmth of his affection settling over her heart, flayn smiles, and leans in close to press a gentle kiss to his lips. the moment feels right, so... why not go for it?
after all, you never know how much time you'll have with someone.]
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this time, when flayn leans in, yin yu's almost expecting it. it still makes his heart swoosh and dive in his chest, like a bird, and he tips his head down to make it easier for her, automatically, to ease up on the distance between them. maybe in a few weeks, he'll be more easily comfortable - for now, it still takes a moment for him not to be tense.
...but that moment comes shorter, and shorter. slowly, yin yu relaxes when she kisses him--which, for someone who is tense constantly, is a pretty impressive state of being--and settles into the new, nice proximity, not immediate to pull back but rather, lingering in the gentle press for a bit longer than before.
at this point, he also has completely forgotten about the movie, instead quietly focused on flayn, and all of the wonders of the world that have somehow found themselves right here, next to him.
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...it really does feel like a dream. a wonderful one, one that she never wants to wake up from. if you had called her on her feelings weeks ago, she would have laughed a little and maybe thought about acting on them when this was all over.
(or maybe she wouldn't have. hurting yin yu isn't an option - and to tell him something like that right before they would be parted seems a little cruel.)
but, truth be told, she's glad it worked out like this. she's glad to be able to spend this sort of time with him now, to give them both something wonderful to hold onto - she's sort of had the feeling for a while now that although they have both been insisting they'll find a way out of this, hope was getting hard to hold onto.
it's much easier, with him here. she lingers on the kiss, and looks up at him with an expression of such adoration that he probably doesn't need the contact to know that's exactly how she feels.]
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maybe it's selfish, to want to keep that look for his own. flayn will feel the kind of effect she has on him pretty much immediately; his heart squeezes in his chest like it's being wrung out, the affection choking him up more than anything, keeping him from being able to say anything in response. he just looks back at her, a little confused and a lot happy, overwhelmed, dazed. the expression on his face is unschooled, brows knitted together, but smiling, that tiny, gentle smile that he rarely realizes is there.
lifting his hand away from her side, finally, he reaches up - just to brush his thumb against her cheek, half confirming that it's real, half just to touch. how nice this is. how - how utterly unusual. how perfect. can he kiss her again? would she mind? probably. he's too much of a coward to go for it.
(maybe a few days from now, he'll know it had to be too good to be true, too good to last.) ]
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he might not have the guts to go through with it, but she definitely wouldn't mind if he did lean in and kiss her. she would never mind that.
(he's told her before, that she could never take advantage of him - but really, that goes both ways. flayn can't imagine yin yu ever taking advantage of her because she thinks she would like whatever it is he might try, if anything.)
he'll feel it, too, as she takes in the sight of that small, gentle smile - it just makes her feel warm and affectionate and endlessly, endlessly charmed. yin yu's smiles don't come easily - which makes them all the more precious when they do.
she reaches up, cups his cheek with one hand, and looks into his eyes. honestly, she's not sure if she could look away.]
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yin yu picks up on that little bit of longing, unfortunately. he picks up on all the things, although it's hard to do anything but want to squirm away from the tidal wave of affection and charmed warmth. it's like staring directly into the sun, and she's looking right at him, and the fact that flayn feels all of that about him is --
it's too much. he exhales, not quite a wheeze, and leans forward to bonk their foreheads together, gently, closing his eyes. the first time that flayn kissed him he'd done much of the same, overwhelmed and embarrassed because he's beyond out of his comfort zone. flayn can probably tell from their emotions; he's wildly flustered and too repressed for this.
...but he's happy, too. it's a tentative undercurrent under the embarrassment, but it's still there.
after a long moment like that, still pressed together, yin yu mumbles: ] ...sorry. [ for being really bad at this. and for being a weenie. and for not being anything like the romance novel protagonist she gets to read about. staring lovingly into each other's eyes with no pause for hours seems like a chengzhu and dianxia thing to do. ]
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his embarrassment mingles with hers, and after a moment, he'll get a sort of apologetic feeling - but it's coupled with fondness.]
You do not need to apologize to me. [her voice is gentle.] We can take this slowly. I am happy just to be with you... I do not need anything more if you are not ready.
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he's a little more sheepish, this time. ] I'm fine, it's just - ah. [ gods above. his ears are starting to burn, and his shoulders hunch, but he doesn't run off and hide. ] ...it's just all rather new.
...My lady will have to guide me, is all. [ oh god he's so flustered. the normal nickname comes back, this time, and she can probably feel yin yu cringe at himself for using it, mentally, but this train is already out of the station. ] And forgive me, as well. I... did promise that I would let you know if there was ever something I did not want to do.
[ maybe the heavenly emperor will strike him down with lightning where he's sitting. ]
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she doesn't want him to start associating feeling uncomfortable with her.]
I can guide you, that is not a problem. [...] ...and... it is alright. It takes time to get used to speaking up.
[at least this happened during emotionshare week when she could feel it and stop immediately.]
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he'd take it over sharing with lili again. (that was way too much.)
from where they're still pressed close together, she'll feel his head move, the beginnings of a nod. ] Thank you, Flayn. [ even that's starting to feel a little more comfortable, even if it gives him a spike of fluttering warmth every time he uses it. she is terrible for his blood pressure, but that's fine.
his tone's softly joking, poking at himself. ] Even speaking to others is still rather difficult for me, my lady. [ he sucks at this it's fine.
yin yu pulls back just a little to look at her again, feeling heartened and also slightly less overwhelmed, the smile on his face small and reflecting his fondness, his gratitude. ] If there's something that you'd like, then I'm happy to provide it. It's out of no obligation or sense of duty. [ ... he shifts, a little, embarrassed again, gaze flicking to the side. ] ...I just would like to make you happy.
[ ... ] ....and I'm sure it would most likely make me happy, too. [ .///. ]
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her cheeks flush, and she smiles back at him, listening as he explains. that... sounds very much like what she's come to expect of him, and gods, she hopes it's true that it would make him happy, if he allowed her to.]
...the truth is, I am not quite sure what to ask for. [she actually sounds - and feels - a little flustered.] But I like... being able to show you how I feel about you, since words are... words can be difficult.
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settled close like this, his arm still around her, head ducked a little so the proximity doesn't change, it's easy to feel more comfortable, though, and it's almost a bit comforting to know that they're fumbling through the dark together, in some ways. flayn's miles more competent emotionally than yin yu could ever dream to be, but, she's coaxed him this far out of his shell. surely anything else is possible.
absently, his thumb rubs up and down where his other hand is still settled on her back. he doesn't even realize he's doing it; the gesture is just because she's there, a quiet revelation in her presence. he huffs a quiet laugh, shaking his head just a bit. ] I think it's easy to tell, though. [ i just am not sure if i can believe it's happening, goes unsaid. there's that sense of disbelieving, warm confusion, but, it's not a bad sense to have. he just can't believe something this good is happening to -- well, to him. like. why.
...there's also... lamely, after a quiet, embarrassed moment, he looks away and mumbles: ] ...this is all fine. [ everything. yeah. ] I like it too.
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[she's so comfortable with him, even with how new this is for the both of them. flayn can't help but marvel over it. hundreds of thousands - millions - maybe even billions of people, in both their worlds. countless other worlds on top of that.
and they somehow manage to meet?
...they somehow manage to feel the same way about each other?
it feels like a miracle, like it's almost too good to be true. (could anything really be too good in a game of death? in two games of death?)]
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yin yu nods as she says so, and feels some of the weight of embarrassment loosen off of his shoulders. he’s able to relax, like this, arm around flayn, touch gentle and intimate, even peek back to glance at her properly. this time when he thinks, I should kiss her, it’s a little easier to lean forward.
so! as he tips forward to do so, feeling lighter than he has in years, feeling warmer than he has in years, just feeling something that isn’t the endless numb void of depression and guilt, yin yu does, gently, kiss her.
the problem is that about two seconds later there’s a BANG of a jump scare from the film behind them. ]
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anyway. it's a perfectly nice moment - romantic, even, despite the fact that they're trapped in a camp where people die each week. (flayn had not thought many things could be romantic in a place like this.)
but yin yu's lips on her own make her feel warm and content - at least, for the two seconds they're there before the BANG on the television screen. flayn's shriek is muffled by his lips, but she clutches to him tightly, startled - more from the suddenness of the sound than because it was actually scary at all.
with a gasp, she pulls back, then buries her face in his shoulder.]
What was that...?
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....
and then it's nothing. all of the pent up tension goes out of him like a balloon, and yin yu glances over her shoulder to the tv screen. the ghost bride is haunting the main woman, shrieking and yelling and now making a ton of noise as they attempt to do some kind of exorcism. ]
...the movie. [ he says, shaking his head at himself for being too jumpy, a quiet chuckle in his voice as he loosens his grip. ridiculous... so ridiculous... ]
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(he may get a sense of that, just briefly, before she tamps down on it. no, she told him they could take this slow - or at least more slowly. his own pace.
it strikes her as sort of funny - in the stories she hears, it's usually the other way around.)]
...ah - that is right. I did not realize it would be so... loud.
[she speaks the words into his shoulder. should she get up? should she let go of him? she probably could, but it's warm and comfortable, being here like this. at least the movie being scary ("scary") gives her an excuse to cling to him, even if she isn't actually scared at all.]
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yin yu's observant nature means he does not miss out on that wish of hers, and... though he'd already started to let go, he pauses.
this emotion share thing is... you know, it's been kind of terrible all week long? but right now, it's. it's really useful. some of the flush returns to his cheeks, but, slowly, he replaces his arm. the grip is less "incoming danger i will protect you with everything" and more holding her close to him, his fingers hovering briefly before his arm settles around her waist a little tighter than before. scandalous.
yin yu absolutely can only look at the screen while this is happening, too embarrassed to look at her properly, because the minute he does he will give into propriety and move. ]
I suppose that's one way to make things 'scary'... [ like startling a little kid during a game... well, ok. it did make yin yu jump, even, so it's not like he's immune. ] ...it startled me, too.
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