fishingforcompliments: (Default)
a nice girl who is definitely your age ([personal profile] fishingforcompliments) wrote2020-06-06 12:53 pm
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shixiong: flirt with becoming food for worms (52)

[personal profile] shixiong 2020-07-21 04:08 am (UTC)(link)
[ he was hoping, anticipating..... and there’s a feeling of him being just a little pleased, when flayn says so. yin yu exhales, and nods, up and down. ]

I’d like that very much. [ ..... not that he wants to really.... move from where he’s settled so warm and close to flayn but that’s fine, he’ll still - ] I can fetch it.
shixiong: it's a pointless endeavor (73)

[personal profile] shixiong 2020-07-21 01:14 pm (UTC)(link)
[ okay. right. yin yu ends up staying there for a second too long, lingering, before he finally absolves with himself to get up. as he starts to move, yin yu blinks, and pauses, as he notices flayn still clinging to him, almost pouting.

....it puts an embarrassed smile on his face, and yin yu ducks his head to look away from her to hide it. they're--this is something. ]
...Flayn.

[ you gotta.

you gotta let him get up.

(how absolutely novel to think, that someone would want his presence so much they wouldn't want him to leave. it blows yin yu away, every time, and she'll feel the warm, squirming way his feelings curl up at it, amazed and quietly in love.) ]
shixiong: will i ever make a sound? / "waving through a window", dear evan hansen (41)

[personal profile] shixiong 2020-07-21 01:29 pm (UTC)(link)
[ it absolutely takes him an extra second to move after that because he really doesn't want to now.

....right. okay. well! yin yu bows his head and gets up quickly, practically unfolding from where he's settled, and hurries over to fetch the book from flayn's things. he finds it quickly, and, as requested, comes right back.

getting comfortable again with flayn - or, rather, allowing himself to do so - is going to be a different challenge entirely for him, considering he's still more flustered than is necessary and also awkward, but! yin yu sits back where he was before, book in hand. ]


...Is this a comfortable enough way for you to sit...? [ and he has to stop himself from saying "my lady", again, which means he just sort of trails off at the end. help him please he's struggling. ]
shixiong: and maybe it's upsetting (74)

[personal profile] shixiong 2020-07-21 05:25 pm (UTC)(link)
[ he might die of embarrassment, but he sure wouldn't say no! so there's that.

yin yu nods, a little flustered, as he settles back in to where he was before, leaning back against the couch. there's a beat, like he's still trying to decide what to do, before he just ... lifts his arm so she can scoot in a little closer again, if she'd like.

it's subtle, and his ears are red, but if she wants to tuck back close into his side again, that... that would be nice. ]
shixiong: the ramblings of a lunatic (56)

[personal profile] shixiong 2020-07-22 01:54 am (UTC)(link)
[ if she hesitated he probably would have pulled back immediately, so it's a good thing she didn't! the immediacy of flayn zooming in next to him surprises yin yu a little, but slowly, he lets his arm back down as she gets comfortable, so it falls back around her, too.

embarrassing, but, nice. it takes him a little shifting to get comfortable - his limbs are all very long - but once he's settled, he'll offer flayn the novel. ]
...like this, you'll have to hold it, if you don't mind.

[ he can either hold onto her or...the book... yin yu would do either but this is pretty nice. she may be able to feel a little bit of his hesitance and embarrassment--throw him a bone here. ]
shixiong: it's a pointless endeavor (73)

[personal profile] shixiong 2020-07-22 02:23 am (UTC)(link)
I can. [ a pause, and then, a little sheepishly, yin yu admits; ] ...Last time, I did not read so much as listened to you.

[ while he could tell you the basic plot of the story they had read, even the observant yin yu had forgotten a few details. more than once, he'd found himself soothed by the sound of her voice, but moreso, by the way she just seemed to enjoy the story with her whole being. the way it just seemed to enchant her was a lot more than the story itself. ]

But I can see just fine.
shixiong: that i deserve forgetting (72)

[personal profile] shixiong 2020-07-22 12:15 pm (UTC)(link)
[ with one last adjustment, reaching up to pull the blanket back proper over the both of them and settling in comfortably, yin yu nods. ]

At your leave.

[ boy i'm glad we started another thread because threading out reading is very hard, ]
shixiong: (93)

[personal profile] shixiong 2020-07-22 04:16 pm (UTC)(link)
[ it's not as much the reading itself that's making yin yu sleepy. it's been a long day, but every day in camp is particularly long. rather, flayn being sleepy and exuding that outwards is starting to lull yin yu into towards sleeping, too. he knows from earlier in the week, how difficult sleep can be to find for flayn, and the fear that it gives her, so to feel her relaxing warm and comfortable against him is soothing, too. yin yu takes a deep breath as he would on his own, to try and help her stay calm and comfortable, but - he finds little tension in his own body, either.

relaxing is hard for him, and always has been.

he ends up leaning forward a bit, cheek nestling against the top of her head, and lets the mispronounced words go by; she'll feel the warm, ensconcing feeling of yin yu's fondness, quiet, but a little overwhelming all the same. it's more than fondness, though. he -

it's something he hasn't really felt, ever. an intense and true something, that's hard to describe. watching this wonder of a person trust him with one of her fears - and watching her stumble sleepily, cutely, over words, still desperately trying to stay awake a little longer to spend time with yin yu of all people - is what gives him the tiny, bright realization - i love her.

meditation is a key part of cultivation - of being cognizant of all of your feelings, recognizing them, letting them pass by. it's a few lines down the page further that yin yu finally reaches forward to gently place the bookmark they were using before in the center of the book, so his hand brushes hers. ]


[ there's...arguably more than enough space to sleep; he doesn't want to disturb flayn now that she's so close to slumber. gently, quietly, he'll try to close the book.

and when yin yu speaks, his voice is just soft enough to not disturb the gentle peace they've created, his usual gentle timbre even softer than usual, just a little hesitant. ]
...do you want to stay?

[ stay here. stay with him. he'll walk her back to her cabin if he has to, but if flayn, who fears sleep, is comfortable enough to rest, then by the gods, he'll stay here with her all night. ]
shixiong: (101)

[personal profile] shixiong 2020-07-23 12:15 am (UTC)(link)
[ in acting as a general scout for hua cheng, yin yu has slept in plenty of strange places. his bed in paradise manor is humble, and the bunk beds here are...frankly a little too small for him. curling up here with flayn puts pretty much every place he's slept right out of the water, in comparison.

he takes a moment to fetch one of the throw pillows that's laying around and move it behind his head, his other hand coming to rest gently in flayn's back so he doesn't disturb her too much. ]
Mn. [ the noise is agreeing, quiet, and he as he makes the final adjustments, he wriggles down a little so he's laying down properly and flayn can keep just using him as a pillow if she wants, reaching up to pull the blanket up and over flayn's shoulders, even tucking her in a little because he's considerate like that.

yin yu tries to do all of this as carefully as possible, so not to jostle flayn as he slowly settles back, folding his other arm behind his head to act enough as a pillow for himself. it's all yin yu really needs.

and having flayn here is - it's more comfort than he could ask for. ]
Rest well, my... [ mmn. his arm settles a little warmer around her, and even if he doesn't sleep right away, it will be a restful night. ] Flayn.

...I'll be here.
shixiong: is this catharsis? (66)

[personal profile] shixiong 2020-07-23 02:26 am (UTC)(link)
[ it's probably a good thing that flayn is asleep just seconds later, because that surprises yin yu so much at first, he pauses.

it shouldn't. it should feel obvious. it's felt obvious all evening, as they were stuck sharing their emotions - but he wasn't able to put a name to it, not really. or rather, any obliviousness towards it was willful. even though it was right there in front of him, it's just...

even now, yin yu wonders how could someone like flayn could love him. what has he possibly done to earn this - this warmth, this affection, this love? flayn is kind and fierce, beautiful and warm, charming, gentle, powerful, someone nearly everyone in this camp adores. in contrast, yin yu is an unnoticeable, presenceless, nobody, a failure, a banished god, the kind of person who fades so easily in the background, eclipsed by the brightness of every star around. but, settled here like this, he doesn't feel like any of those things. not the xianxianyue officer, not his highness the failed martial god of the west.

...he just feels like yin yu. a person with a name. a person who could maybe do something half right to protect flayn, to keep her safe.

from a thrown piece of fruit at a ghost, to a persistent, lovely, endless kindness. from pinky promises, and trials, memorials and flower language. from someone who refused to let him hide, because he thought it would be easier to slip away from everyone instead of make a single bond of his own. from laughing until his sides hurt at a mountain goat that stole their food, from the worst memory of his life that she saw, and accepted, and she loved him anyway.

she loves him anyway.

it's a little while after she's asleep, and he can feel her breathing even out, that yin yu leans forward, and presses his lips to the crown of her head. he lingers there, for a while, eyes closed, feeling so overwhelmingly warm he might burst.

it gets stuck in his throat. it's like he has to push it out, like the words are creaky and old from disuse, because they are. and when yin yu says it, flayn can't even hear him, but he sounds vulnerable, open. quiet.

tender. ]


...I love you, too.

[ it will be another hour before he sleeps properly, but when he does, it will be restful.

yin yu stays curled around her the entire night. ]