fishingforcompliments | [not again] catchall for yin yu

[ well! this has been an exciting day. between wrangling flying movies (?) and stopping fights, yin yu's been kept busy through most of it, and it's only around dinner time that he finally gets a free moment.

it figures that his thoughts go drifting, when they do. they've been doing that for quite a bit today...which is simultaneously embarrassing and silly and also kind of nice. besides, after talking with lili, he did promise to get a little information, and there's not really a better place to start than here.

it is absolutely not an excuse to come visit flayn's cabin, knocking a familiar three sharp knocks on the door. ]

[the door doesn't open! apparently flayn has commenced with avoiding him for a five-year timeskip.

okay, no, that's a lie. a moment or so after yin yu knocks, he'll hear footsteps on the path leading to the cabins - and just after that, he'll hear flayn's voice.]

Yin Yu?

[she's further down the path, just coming back from... somewhere, but she'll hurry over to where he is.]

[ maybe she... well. he shouldn't just assume anything. lili said that he shouldn't run from flayn, but if she wasn't around and he hadn't seen her all day then maybe it was the other way around, that must be it, it's not like he deserves to even -

oh.

yin yu turns, and on sight of flayn, pretty much immediately gets flustered, as he almost immediately remembers what happened on saturday, followed quickly by mentally scolding himself for doing so. cheeks turning red behind his mask, he shoves those emotions back down and gives a polite bow in greeting like always.

.... and doesn't say anything at first. give him a second. ] ...Ah. Lady Flayn... if you're busy, I can come back later.

I— I am not busy!

[she says this quickly, before yin yu can find an excuse to leave. if her cheeks look a little flushed, it's because they are. it's fine. all of this is fine.

(have they been just missing each other? flayn's been looking for him, but if he's been busy today too, then maybe he wasn't avoiding her.)]

Oh.

[ .... okay. right. there's nothing weird. they're just standing here blushing at each other like a couple of fools.

that's-- okay, he has actual important things to talk about, but yin yu doesn't want flayn to feel uncomfortable, and he also doesn't want her to think that he doesn't want to be around.. and he also doesn't want her to think that he's just here for business. even though he kind of is? but isn't? he has absolutely no idea what he's doing with this embarrassing tangle of feelings that are all his own.

so this is his not quite elegant solution. ] --would you like to take a walk with me?

[she nods rapidly. a walk sounds nice. if he's come here to invite her out on a walk, then maybe this was the opposite of him avoiding her. maybe this is fine after all. maybe she was just overthinking it, when she'd assumed that what he did - what he allowed her to do - on saturday was because of his sharing feelings with lili.

they really ought to talk about this, but she isn't sure how to bring it up.]

I would love to.

[...is what she says instead.]

[ he softens, a little, when flayn accepts so earnestly. some of the worry eases out of his shoulders, and he nods, turning properly and reaching up to put his mask to the side of his head. like this, it's more obvious that his cheeks are a little pink, but... it's starting to become second nature, to show his face around her.

(how strange.)

yin yu moves to meet her, with a little nod of his head, and feels the urge to do... something. he doesn't know what but something, so as he starts to head out towards--anywhere, like the last time they did this, he ends up dropping his hand to the side between them, his fingers flexing a bit hesitantly through the air.

with the effect that seems to be going through camp this week - as he experienced very personally this morning helping beau, he can't imagine wanting to burden flayn with the weight of any unwanted emotions. he's usually pretty good at silencing them, but even so...

in the past, flayn had always reached for his hand when he wasn't really sure if he was going to be able to reach out himself. it will have to be enough, for now. ]

I'll confess I don't have anywhere in particular in mind.

That is alright - even if we are not going anywhere in particular, I like to spend time with you.

[an aimless walk is fine. it's almost nicer, because if he didn't come here with anything specific in mind, then... it's just because he wanted to see her, isn't it? that warms her heart, and she looks down with a small smile and flushed cheeks.

...ah. his hand.

she wants to take it. she badly wants to take it, and out of habit, she starts to reach for it - but she hesitates before she actually does, and looks up at him after a moment. by now, she knows what's been happening when people come into contact with each other.]

...is it okay if I hold your hand?

[she wants to, but -

more than that, she doesn't want to make him uncomfortable.]

[ here comes the color to his cheeks again. at this rate, it's going to be there forever.

the fact that flayn asked means they were of the same mindset, too. it touches him that she did, and yin yu ducks his head a little, embarrassed again, but. ]

...of course. [ it's the obvious answer. it's ... it's always okay, if it's with flayn. and besides, earlier, when he was helping beau, he was able to easily put a cork in his own feelings and take on hers to help her calm down. this is actually preferable to his memories, because those haunt him. his emotions are, really, less complicated.

he turns his hand up as they start to head off, palm towards her, if she wants to take it. ]

[she takes his hand, then.

the effect is nearly immediate - flayn has never had as good a handle on her emotions as yin yu has, although she is much older. (granted, a lot of that time was spent asleep, but that doesn't stop her from feeling like she ought to know better, sometimes.)

there's a low undercurrent of anxiety, and guilt, and worry. but more prominent is happiness - being with him will do that. being able to hold his hand will do that, and in fact, that feeling only grows stronger as she laces their fingers together and steps close to his side.

nervousness, a little. affection - a lot.

...and hope. her hand in his makes her feel hope when she had been very, very close to losing it.]

[ unlike with beau, earlier, things are a lot more amplified because... they're in a feedback loop. flayn might not feel much at first, as yin yu is used to just-- stopping himself from feeling much of anything at all, but.

it comes through like ink on wet paper, a little slow, but sure. he's definitely flustered, and his heart skips a little faster than it should, when their fingers touch. nerves of his own, prominent, threaded together with darker tinge of self-deprecation that flayn has probably come to recognize is always there.

but over all of it, there's that same happiness, too. yin yu's happiness is quiet, like most things about him, but it's there. as he stands there for a moment and processes it, slowly, he turns his head just a bit to look at her, almost shy. the complicated tangle of emotions unwind, a knot being rolled back into a neat ball, and it settles, into nothing but that soft, warm, gentle feeling of affection, and...something a little bit like wonder, fed back, too.

he gives her a small, hesitant smile. ]

[there are more unpleasant feedback loops to be in.

but that's - that's it, then. some of the anxiety he's feeling from her lessens as his feelings wash over her. by now, the use of his power on lili would have worn off - which means these feelings are his. his, and no one else's, and that means—

her heart flutters, and she squeezes his hand as she smiles back at him.]

[ oof. well, flayn will get to feel that same heart-skipping-briefly-uncontrollable-puppy-love sort of warmth in a surprising, bright burst when she smiles at him like that. yin yu tamps it down after a second, putting a lid on that before it makes him look even more ridiculous than he has made himself already look in the past few minutes.

but!! with that, they can at least head off on their walk. his fingers stay laced comfortably with hers, in a gesture that has become quite commonplace. (that means - that means a lot more than it did, before, maybe. that has he anticipation of something, there, in a really, really good way- the kind that makes you nervous, but a little bit curious, too.)

slowly, he settles into a more normal routine, comfortable enough to just walk with her for a little while, in the quiet, to focus on his breathing and keep his own emotions now much more firmly in check.

admittedly, there is a tiny sliver of nerves that doesn't quite disappear. it's that same feeling. are they - are we going to talk about it? yin yu won't bring it up. this part is normal. this is just their usual day to day. ]

[they're going to have to talk about it. that tiny bit of nerves reminds her of it - and, as they've talked about - she worries him, he worries her, they worry about each other in turn - it draws out some of her own nerves.

...it's easier to keep them under control with everything else, though. her fear that deep down, he might regret what happened, feels small in comparison to the rest. it's still there, of course, but -

god, his smile makes her weak.

eventually, though. eventually, after they've walked in a companionable silence for some time, she finds that she can't really ignore it. the memory of what happened between them isn't easy to shake from her thoughts, and though this week they aren't seeing memories through each other's eyes, he'll be able to feel the mix of emotions each time she remembers the kiss.

affection, again. hope. relief. and - a little bit of longing, too.

(that's going to be something to unpack, later.)]

...um, Yin Yu? Should we... talk... about what happened?

[lili had suggested that maybe they should.]

[ to avoid overthinking about certain things - like how soft flayn's hand is, or that he can feel all of her emotions and that she's happy for some reason, with him (???? ????) -- yin yu is trying very hard to focus on everything that is not that. mainly, he does have something to ask her that's a little more 'business' related, and he mentally sorts through the details of it to try and keep himself focused.

his hand doesn't move from hers, though. his emotions are a steady, even clip, fading into just bare background noise. there's a low undercurrent of that same warmth, but it's mostly kept to an underscore compared to flayn's, as he absorbs them as carefully as he can without dying of embarrassment. and right when it feels like he's ready to ask -

ah. she asks him about something else, first. he blinks, a little surprised, turning to look at her... and then reddens all over again, looking at the ground in front of them. somewhere, his emotions get a little louder; a little twist of anxiety and that self-deprecation again, a lack of confidence are almost instantaneous, a flutter of warmth from the memory of what 'what happened' meant, all wrapped up in that same flustered shell of before. he really is out of his depth. ]

...we should. [ he answers, eventually, kind of vaguely, peeking at her from the side and trying not to be too obvious about it. ] What.. what would my lady like to say?

[ aaaaa ]

[it's not the first time she's felt a sting of disappointment when he doesn't call her by her name, but it's the first time he'll be able to feel it, because she's not very good at keeping how she feels off her face but she's taken great pains not to let that show.

he calls nearly everyone lady. there are only a few exceptions, and--

no, no, no, this is not the time to be feeling jealous. her cheeks flush, and for a moment, she almost regrets bringing it up.

maybe it would have been better not go say anything at all.]

...I, um. I heard from Lili that... that, um, the two of you were feeling what... each other felt, that night. Was...

[she hesitates.]

...was that why you...?

[ ah. he feels the disappointment first, which sets off an initial moment of stress and worry, the hint of self deprecation growing a little. what did he say? what did he do?? of course, he managed to upset her somehow, maybe she didn't want to talk about it at all...

he has absolutely no idea what could have caused that, either, but, luckily, flayn asks. and... ah. he's a little surprised, it feels like? but then, the embarrassment takes over, and he exhales on a bit of a laugh. it feels a bit silly, in retrospect. ]

...that was why I was embarrassed. When - you thought I had a fever. I was trying to get a handle on it. Lady Lili was...is... very emotional. [ he was really panicking trying not to show any of that. she apparently had a good night.

....so did he, though.

...wow. embarrassing. anyway. reaching up with his other hand, he rubs the back of his neck. his own emotions are starting to peek through again, embarrassment, rising, rising... ] ...but by the time I... we. [ he's dying. his feelings are even more obvious, now, the embarrassment like a tea kettle about to whistle right out of his ears. ] ... well, you know...

[ local man can't say the word "kissed"

ahem. he finishes softer. ] ...I... I certainly had a handle on it, by then.

[ ...so that was me. he doesn't finish the sentence, but it hangs pretty obviously in the air between them, and yin yu finally shifts his gaze to look out of the corner of his eye at flayn beside him to gauge her reaction. ]

[can't believe talking business is being delayed by all this het nonsense. anyway.

the stress and worry are strong, and it sends a shock of fear through her - which will, unfortunately, get broadcast right back to him. it's paired with a twinge of guilt - but it's quickly overshadowed by his embarrassment as he explains.

...

her heart flutters as he does - because talking about it makes her think back to that moment, and she can't help but feel intensely happy every time she does.

...that happiness is overcome by an outpouring of complete and utter relief when he says he'd already had a handle on things by the time she kissed him.]

I... I thought, perhaps, when I heard that, that you-- would not have wanted it, if you were not feeling what she was, or...

[she shakes her head, flustered beyond all reason.]

Or, it would be more accurate to say that I... worried about that.

[it meant so much to her. she wants desperately to believe that it meant something to him, too.]

[ This Het Nonsense!!!!!!!

it's a miracle he managed to stumble his way through that feeling flayn's emotions. the fear worried him, but... it ended well, and the relief is helpful for him, too. he doesn't wheeze out loud or anything but that was a very stressful few minutes. ]

No! No, no, I. [ aaaaaaa ] ...you had nothing to worry for. Rather, I thought it might have been the opposite...

[ ahhh... flayn will get it, too. his emotions are a little more blocked off, but it leaks through, still; there's a warmth there that must be happiness. even if he's embarrassed, he seems pretty gently pleased. that doesn't make his voice any louder or less shy when he confirms: ] ...that was. Why I asked.

[ to kiss her... aaaa...

silly. this is very silly. they're both silly. they will perhaps make a matched set of worriers, at this rate...although there are many things in this camp to be worried about, now aren't there.

really, though. if he wasn't feeling it himself, yin yu wouldn't believe this happiness of flayn's was because of him for even a second. ]

[her hand tightens in his.

nothing to worry for. he'll feel a surge of warmth and affection and complete, utter relief at that, followed shortly by intense happiness. flayn could probably stand to learn a thing or two from him about staying calm.

if it was real, then...]

...I am glad, then - that I did not end up, um... taking advantage of you.

[ that intense happiness ends up tugging a smile on his face, too, and he looks down at their joined hands for a moment, at how easily their fingers fit together. it's fed back to her in this loop, less loud, but just as happy.

...and, his answer comes surprisingly quickly, with a wry little laugh. ]

Lady Flayn, I really don't think there's a way in the world you could be taking advantage of me.

[ like. really. he would do basically anything you asked a hundred times over and enjoy it. ]

[there's a very slight pang of disappointment, the moment he says "lady" - but the rest of what he says has her heart fluttering again, flustered but enamored.]

Ah... is that so?

[well, that's something to think about--

no, no it is not. that's embarrassing.]

Of course.

[ ?? ?? she was disappointed for a second there. it doesn't even really occur to him why, but it fades so quickly, and she looks so happy that it's - well, it's easy to forget about it, at least momentarily.

besides, he does mean it. it's probably pretty obvious by now, but... yin yu's a little gone, too. enamored is a good word for it. happy. his face hurts a little from how much he's been smiling this week. (it's like a decently normal amount for a normal person, but he is not a normal person.) ]

...

[well. in that... in that case.

he'll feel a slight apprehension before she speaks, but then she forges ahead--]

If I wanted to kiss you again, then, that would not... trouble you?

[ oh. he probably should have seen that coming.

cheeks reddening again, flayn probably feels his surprise, and then the startled half laugh of nerves and also--there's that blush of happiness again. ] That ... would not trouble me at all, my lady.

[ no. no, that would be. that would be stellar. ]

w4 maybe monday eveningish?

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