[ initially, this emotion sharing thing had been a bit of a headache. but between dealing with lili’s on Saturday and this, right now—this unadulterated happiness and affection from they irl in front of him —makes it not so bad.
so, when flayn pulls back and gives him that smile, she gets the unguarded burst of warmth and happiness from him, too. it’s a little wobbly and creaky, because as ever yin yu has a bad handle on the positive parts of his emotions, but.. his hand lingers longer than the kiss itself, and he ducks his head, flushing to the tips of his ears, but smiling at her nonetheless. it’s boyish and flustered, but just as warm, too.
thats confirmation as any, on his end, too. is this what it feels like to be simply happy? how long has it been since he had something that made him feel this way? when was the last time he genuinely smiled, before flayn came around?
[it's a terrible invasion of privacy, really. flayn shouldn't be happy to be able to feel what he's feeling without any filters - what if there were something he was feeling that he didn't want to know about?
...but she can't help but be a little grateful, too, because this way, he knows exactly what she feels without her having to say a word, and there's no chance of him thinking she doesn't feel something that she does. it would have been one thing to say it (and she has, hasn't she? she's said so many times that she genuinely loves being around him), but this way, he can accept it without reservation.
she hopes, anyway.
with a smile, she leans into the lingering touch of his hand on her cheek. they probably shouldn't just stand here forever like a pair of lovestruck idiots (even if that's exactly what they are), but she doesn't seem at all inclined to step away.]
...thank you.
[for letting that happen. ...for feeling the same way as her.]
[ someone is going to see this!!! except psych this is in a pc.
but, lovestruck idiots is the right way to describe it. it's a little overwhelming, being hit with so many feelings of affection all at once, and his cheeks are starting to hurt because of the smile on his face, even if it's little. it's still more than he's smiled in centuries. ]
It feels like I should be the one thanking you, somehow, but... of course, my lady.
[ it's another couple of seconds before he finally pulls away, realizing that he's probably just made things a little more awkward than necessary just by manner of existing. sometimes he misses being someone who just doesn't exist. (he doesn't miss it that much, actually. he's a little flattered, and surprised by it every single time.)
tamping down a bit on that happy, sappy feeling, he pulls away a little more, proper, other hand still lingering in hers. ]
[there's that slight twinge of disappointment again - one of these days, she really hopes to hear him call her by her name. but it's tempered by the fact that he's still got his hand in hers, which is definitely more important than the fact that he keeps calling her by a title.
it feels a little formal, a little distant, but - the way he allows her to hold his hand is the opposite of distant.
for now, it's enough, and she smiles up at him.]
...you said that you did not have a destination in mind, but - was there something you wanted to talk about...? Was that why you came by?
[ hhh THERE IT IS AGAIN, he's not dumb, and yin yu mentally ponders over what he just did or said. there's a brief twitch of anxiety, muted, but when flayn gives him a little smile it ebbs to background noise. ]
...ah, yes. It's not anything of particular interest, but...our team won this week. Did you end up receiving anything for it? Lady Lili and I are trying to maintain a list of the effects of the items, for Saturday.
[ whatever anxiety or disappointment can be dealt with a little later. business is helpful, and he keeps the pace of their walk as they talk through it, the set of his shoulders relaxed, thumb sweeping gently over the side of her hand. ]
[he's not dumb, but flayn kind of is. she really ought to just tell him she wants him to call her by her name, but she also knows this is how he defaults to addressing people, so. she's just resolved to be disappointed until he feels comfortable enough to do so on his own.
(just talk about it, idiot.)
she nods to herself, though - that twitch of anxiety has her worried, but as he speaks, he'll get a general sense of admiration, twinged with just the slightest bit of... frustration? it's mainly directed at herself, though.
she wishes she could think of these things herself, instead of just following along with someone else's ideas. maybe she could be more helpful, then.]
Oh - yes. Mine was some sort of small doll with strange arms... it seeks out heat and, um, explodes, if I use it. I can show you when we get back, if you would like.
No, no, that's alright. [ he trusts her! so that's two of those... ] I received some sort of toy that allows me to cause someone pain for a day. No physical injuries or anything, but enough pain is hard to hide. I suppose if something were to happen, it would be useful, so I've been keeping it on my person.
[ with his free hand, he reaches into his pocket to show her the little toy. it's a tiny, pink game of operation. he has absolutely no idea that that's what it is but you know when you're old. ]
Both of the items I've received over the week have been fairly defensive. [ things he could use to protect others. the fall one could be useful in a break in... the temperature one, in case something went south.
he huffs, a little humorless sigh. ] I'm glad for it. [ he doesn't really need things to attack people because he doesn't... want to do that. at all. so thanks, benevolent powers that be (not). yin yu gives flayn a little smile. ] Thank you for sharing with me, my lady.
[these games are. weird. very weird. but if it can be useful, then...]
Take care to keep that hidden at the trial, please. If you can. [...] I do not know if being found in the possession of something that could only belong to a certain team would count as divulging your team publicly, and I do not wish to find out that it would the hard way.
["the hard way" being watching him suffer for it a la giyuu. if yin yu loses a limb, she will be very upset - in fact, she's already a little upset, just thinking about it. he'll feel that - the worry loop is hard to break, though once again - as he says "my lady" - there's that same, perhaps now-familiar, twinge of disappointment.
though that can perhaps be explained away by:]
I wish that the items we received for being in the lead for tasks were more defensive than they are. I do not like feeling as though we are being encouraged to... hurt people.
[ he also doesn't want to lose a limb? that sounds like quite the hindrance to protecting anyone. (and painful?? and bad for you?? yin yu?)
he pockets the toy again, putting it out of sight. flayn's right, of course. ] ...and I feel the same. Such are the rules that we're supposed to follow.
[ yin yu's thoughtful, his emotions a calm sea, as he considers their options. the likelihood that the rules of this game will change are slim, so they will all have to find a way to play by them, and still win. it's what they did before, more or less, by finding their 'mastermind'. there can only be one team standing... ] We all have to work together somehow to break it. If there was a way for us to be on the same 'team'... but who knows what that might be.
[there's no small amount of relief, there. if anything happened to yin yu... especially since lili already suspected him once...
well. anyway. she's trying not to let herself get carried away with her thoughts, because when she does, she can practically feel her mood dropping - and she doesn't want yin yu to have to deal with that. so she takes a breath to try and center herself.
(it's not altogether successful. she doesn't manage to stamp down on it entirely, but at least the anxiety and frustration and loathing she feels when she thinks about only one team winning and the rules are slightly more muted.)]
...there has to be some way. If there is not - I am not certain that most of us would be able to live with it, knowing that there are people we would not be able to save.
[ mm... it is a downer. his mood drops a little, too, in tune with flayn's. yin yu's right there with her; they had earned their happy ending already, once, and to see it taken away would be brutal. aside from the fact that they, of course, are never in any guaranteed safety, either...
...he worries for flayn, too. that endless cycle of fretting over each other, of caring for each other, is becoming quite routine, and as he feels her mood dip, he gives her hand another squeeze, shifting his hand so their fingers interlock a little more properly. ]
There is. We did not think there was one on the island, and we found one. [ another, small squeeze. if flayn is not feeling optimistic...then yin yu will do his best to have hope, for her.
yin yu will do everything he can to solve this. he is a hard worker, someone who does not fail tasks when they are given to him. this one--getting out of here, getting to safety--this one is one of the most important he's ever had. ] We will find a way.
[...that actually does make her feel a little more hopeful. it lightens some of the anxiety and frustration, at least, and he'll feel a faint stirring of hope as she looks up at him and manages a small smile.
he's right. they did find a way out, there.
and she knows exactly what sort of person yin yu is - dedicated, hardworking, determined. even with him alone working on it, she would know they others would be in good hands. but there's dimitri, too, who saw them through the island. lili. akira. so many people, who all want to find a way out of this safely... working with them, how would it be possible to fail?
if one exists, they are a group that will find it. flayn believes that wholeheartedly.]
I know. [she squeezes his hand back.] ...thank you.
[ he can feel that little thread of hope, and holds onto it.
flayn's optimism is important to him. it's something that's done a lot for him, in the way that her kindness and trust and even her l--her affection have, too. though he is not an optimistic person, he just sets himself a firm ultimatum, the one he has through his entire career working with hua cheng. i will die before i fail her again.
that sense of resolve is the only thing flayn might feel from him, for a moment. it's firm, but quiet, present in the background to bolster her own. he doesn't know what to do, really, but if his words helped a little, then it's something. ] Of course, my lady.
[ "thank you", "of course"--it has become something of a routine, hasn't it? 'of course' has less weight to it, maybe, then i would do anything for you, but... that's the feeling that goes along with it, too.
with that, business is all said and done... and now that it's not so cold, it's a nice afternoon, and a good time for a walk. to spend a little time together. he's still bad at admitting when those are the things that he wants, and the excuse is gone, so it worked out. they're here, together. ] That was all.
[that resolve is comforting. feeling it, knowing that yin yu is going to devote himself to finding the truth of what is going on here and a way out of this for everyone, flayn is able to settle.
--though the comfort is, once again, punctuated by a small twinge of disappointment at "my lady". she really ought to just tell him already.]
...but we do not have to go back yet, correct? [she sounds - and feels - hopeful. they might be done talking shop, but it's a nice day, and his company is wonderful. she doesn't want to split up. she wants to stay here with him.
the only good thing about sharing feelings is she can express that to him without words.]
[ yin yu exhales. it's a laugh, sheepish, his other hand coming up to the back of his neck behind his scarf. ]
No.. of course not. [ he's a little embarrassed, ducking his head. ] ...I...was hoping you'd say that.
[ even if he picks up on her being disappointed again, and this time, that anxiety reflects back, a flicker of emotion. that's the third or fourth time. maybe she's just disappointed because she thought he was going to leave... ]
well, that disappointment is gone now. she smiles, and it's accompanied by a rush of happiness. ...knowing he wants to spend time with her, even when there isn't anything to discuss, makes her heart feel light.]
Oh... good. [...] Then... we can keep walking. I would like that a lot.
[ that happiness is infectious. it's easy to forget that slight he must have done. (at least, for now. he's very worried that he's already gone and screwed up something so good, and that plays low underneath his joy, but, he's always a little worried, so maybe that's not that new.)
yin yu can't help but smile back. gentle, small, but still present; his hand squeezes hers. ] ...I would too.
[he's always worried, it's true, but she wants to do something to ease that worry. that desire to help mingles with the warmth and affection that she can't shake when his hand squeezes hers, and her cheeks flush lightly.]
Good. I am glad.
[...it really is nice, that he wants to spend time with her like this. it means so much more to her than she knows how to express - but luckily, he can feel it.]
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fishingforcompliments) wrote2020-06-06 12:53 pm
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so, when flayn pulls back and gives him that smile, she gets the unguarded burst of warmth and happiness from him, too. it’s a little wobbly and creaky, because as ever yin yu has a bad handle on the positive parts of his emotions, but.. his hand lingers longer than the kiss itself, and he ducks his head, flushing to the tips of his ears, but smiling at her nonetheless. it’s boyish and flustered, but just as warm, too.
thats confirmation as any, on his end, too. is this what it feels like to be simply happy? how long has it been since he had something that made him feel this way? when was the last time he genuinely smiled, before flayn came around?
what a nice change. ]
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...but she can't help but be a little grateful, too, because this way, he knows exactly what she feels without her having to say a word, and there's no chance of him thinking she doesn't feel something that she does. it would have been one thing to say it (and she has, hasn't she? she's said so many times that she genuinely loves being around him), but this way, he can accept it without reservation.
she hopes, anyway.
with a smile, she leans into the lingering touch of his hand on her cheek. they probably shouldn't just stand here forever like a pair of lovestruck idiots (even if that's exactly what they are), but she doesn't seem at all inclined to step away.]
...thank you.
[for letting that happen. ...for feeling the same way as her.]
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but, lovestruck idiots is the right way to describe it. it's a little overwhelming, being hit with so many feelings of affection all at once, and his cheeks are starting to hurt because of the smile on his face, even if it's little. it's still more than he's smiled in centuries. ]
It feels like I should be the one thanking you, somehow, but... of course, my lady.
[ it's another couple of seconds before he finally pulls away, realizing that he's probably just made things a little more awkward than necessary just by manner of existing. sometimes he misses being someone who just doesn't exist. (he doesn't miss it that much, actually. he's a little flattered, and surprised by it every single time.)
tamping down a bit on that happy, sappy feeling, he pulls away a little more, proper, other hand still lingering in hers. ]
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it feels a little formal, a little distant, but - the way he allows her to hold his hand is the opposite of distant.
for now, it's enough, and she smiles up at him.]
...you said that you did not have a destination in mind, but - was there something you wanted to talk about...? Was that why you came by?
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...ah, yes. It's not anything of particular interest, but...our team won this week. Did you end up receiving anything for it? Lady Lili and I are trying to maintain a list of the effects of the items, for Saturday.
[ whatever anxiety or disappointment can be dealt with a little later. business is helpful, and he keeps the pace of their walk as they talk through it, the set of his shoulders relaxed, thumb sweeping gently over the side of her hand. ]
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(just talk about it, idiot.)
she nods to herself, though - that twitch of anxiety has her worried, but as he speaks, he'll get a general sense of admiration, twinged with just the slightest bit of... frustration? it's mainly directed at herself, though.
she wishes she could think of these things herself, instead of just following along with someone else's ideas. maybe she could be more helpful, then.]
Oh - yes. Mine was some sort of small doll with strange arms... it seeks out heat and, um, explodes, if I use it. I can show you when we get back, if you would like.
[it's a heat-seeking sky dancer.]
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[ with his free hand, he reaches into his pocket to show her the little toy. it's a tiny, pink game of operation. he has absolutely no idea that that's what it is but you know when you're old. ]
Both of the items I've received over the week have been fairly defensive. [ things he could use to protect others. the fall one could be useful in a break in... the temperature one, in case something went south.
he huffs, a little humorless sigh. ] I'm glad for it. [ he doesn't really need things to attack people because he doesn't... want to do that. at all. so thanks, benevolent powers that be (not). yin yu gives flayn a little smile. ] Thank you for sharing with me, my lady.
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Take care to keep that hidden at the trial, please. If you can. [...] I do not know if being found in the possession of something that could only belong to a certain team would count as divulging your team publicly, and I do not wish to find out that it would the hard way.
["the hard way" being watching him suffer for it a la giyuu. if yin yu loses a limb, she will be very upset - in fact, she's already a little upset, just thinking about it. he'll feel that - the worry loop is hard to break, though once again - as he says "my lady" - there's that same, perhaps now-familiar, twinge of disappointment.
though that can perhaps be explained away by:]
I wish that the items we received for being in the lead for tasks were more defensive than they are. I do not like feeling as though we are being encouraged to... hurt people.
no subject
[ he also doesn't want to lose a limb? that sounds like quite the hindrance to protecting anyone. (and painful?? and bad for you?? yin yu?)
he pockets the toy again, putting it out of sight. flayn's right, of course. ] ...and I feel the same. Such are the rules that we're supposed to follow.
[ yin yu's thoughtful, his emotions a calm sea, as he considers their options. the likelihood that the rules of this game will change are slim, so they will all have to find a way to play by them, and still win. it's what they did before, more or less, by finding their 'mastermind'. there can only be one team standing... ] We all have to work together somehow to break it. If there was a way for us to be on the same 'team'... but who knows what that might be.
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[there's no small amount of relief, there. if anything happened to yin yu... especially since lili already suspected him once...
well. anyway. she's trying not to let herself get carried away with her thoughts, because when she does, she can practically feel her mood dropping - and she doesn't want yin yu to have to deal with that. so she takes a breath to try and center herself.
(it's not altogether successful. she doesn't manage to stamp down on it entirely, but at least the anxiety and frustration and loathing she feels when she thinks about only one team winning and the rules are slightly more muted.)]
...there has to be some way. If there is not - I am not certain that most of us would be able to live with it, knowing that there are people we would not be able to save.
[she knows she couldn't.]
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...he worries for flayn, too. that endless cycle of fretting over each other, of caring for each other, is becoming quite routine, and as he feels her mood dip, he gives her hand another squeeze, shifting his hand so their fingers interlock a little more properly. ]
There is. We did not think there was one on the island, and we found one. [ another, small squeeze. if flayn is not feeling optimistic...then yin yu will do his best to have hope, for her.
yin yu will do everything he can to solve this. he is a hard worker, someone who does not fail tasks when they are given to him. this one--getting out of here, getting to safety--this one is one of the most important he's ever had. ] We will find a way.
no subject
he's right. they did find a way out, there.
and she knows exactly what sort of person yin yu is - dedicated, hardworking, determined. even with him alone working on it, she would know they others would be in good hands. but there's dimitri, too, who saw them through the island. lili. akira. so many people, who all want to find a way out of this safely... working with them, how would it be possible to fail?
if one exists, they are a group that will find it. flayn believes that wholeheartedly.]
I know. [she squeezes his hand back.] ...thank you.
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flayn's optimism is important to him. it's something that's done a lot for him, in the way that her kindness and trust and even her l--her affection have, too. though he is not an optimistic person, he just sets himself a firm ultimatum, the one he has through his entire career working with hua cheng. i will die before i fail her again.
that sense of resolve is the only thing flayn might feel from him, for a moment. it's firm, but quiet, present in the background to bolster her own. he doesn't know what to do, really, but if his words helped a little, then it's something. ] Of course, my lady.
[ "thank you", "of course"--it has become something of a routine, hasn't it? 'of course' has less weight to it, maybe, then i would do anything for you, but... that's the feeling that goes along with it, too.
with that, business is all said and done... and now that it's not so cold, it's a nice afternoon, and a good time for a walk. to spend a little time together. he's still bad at admitting when those are the things that he wants, and the excuse is gone, so it worked out. they're here, together. ] That was all.
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--though the comfort is, once again, punctuated by a small twinge of disappointment at "my lady". she really ought to just tell him already.]
...but we do not have to go back yet, correct? [she sounds - and feels - hopeful. they might be done talking shop, but it's a nice day, and his company is wonderful. she doesn't want to split up. she wants to stay here with him.
the only good thing about sharing feelings is she can express that to him without words.]
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No.. of course not. [ he's a little embarrassed, ducking his head. ] ...I...was hoping you'd say that.
[ even if he picks up on her being disappointed again, and this time, that anxiety reflects back, a flicker of emotion. that's the third or fourth time. maybe she's just disappointed because she thought he was going to leave... ]
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well, that disappointment is gone now. she smiles, and it's accompanied by a rush of happiness. ...knowing he wants to spend time with her, even when there isn't anything to discuss, makes her heart feel light.]
Oh... good. [...] Then... we can keep walking. I would like that a lot.
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yin yu can't help but smile back. gentle, small, but still present; his hand squeezes hers. ] ...I would too.
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Good. I am glad.
[...it really is nice, that he wants to spend time with her like this. it means so much more to her than she knows how to express - but luckily, he can feel it.]