Actually, Sanji already came in here earlier to prepare a "last meal" for me. [But white rice is a fucking rare treat for his time so he's not going to just sit here and NOT eat it like damn.]
[Perhaps surprisingly, even though she prepared the rice, it isn't totally godawful. She's been practicing!]
...I wanted to ask a favor of you... although I know I have no right to ask it.
[She takes a breath.]
I know you must be very angry about what happened. But I still intend to find a way out for everyone, including those that we lost. So... you saw the notes that some of the others received at trial, did you not?
...depending on how tomorrow goes - if you end up... [Her breath catches. She doesn't want to say dying, but, what else can she say?] ...if you do end up dying... And if there is something on the other side...
Please write to me if you discover anything of note. Particularly if it contradicts the information that was shared earlier in the week.
[Ah. He seems to actually settle a bit, at that. This is a nice concrete request. He takes a bite from the bowl of rice.]
Of course. I'll do what I can. If I have to die for such a stupid reason, then I'd rather like to see you hit whatever it is that's responsible for all this in the face. [As if he needs a reason to watch Flayn beat people up.]
I think that whoever is responsible for this should be severely punished. [yikes.] If it is within my power to ensure that, I will certainly see to it.
[This discussion is hilarious now because clearly he took Flayn’s advice going into execution.]
Then I won’t say it. [Wow.
He leans forward, then, hands clasping the bars of the cell as he fixes Flayn with his full attention, eyes dark, intent, as if challenging her to look at him plainly.] What’s the point, Flayn? All I’ve ever existed to do is shoot people. To cause problems and make people mad. It’s not a question of live or die. It’s only a question of which man is going to finally kill me. That’s why it doesn’t matter there. That’s why it doesn’t matter here. I was never going to get one of your happy endings.
[god. if she ever puts two and two together she's going to feel guilty.]
...have you ever striven to be something more than a man who shoots people? Or is that all you have allowed yourself to do because that is the sort of man you are convinced you are destined to be?
Of course it is not too late. We came back from death last time; why should we assume we will not do so here as well? As long as you still have consciousness, even if you become a ghost - there is time to change.
[...]
I do not know exactly what I expect you to be. But I would ask that you think about what you would like to become.
And what if this is all I want to be? [He can say it with ease because he's never thought about being anything else. That's not really a matter of want, of course. Wanting to be something else? He's really not sure. The things he's wanted have always been abstract and unattainable. Certainly not anything he could accomplish by sheer force of will. He looks away from Flayn.]
It's not possible for someone like me to be happy, I think.
Is it? Because you said before that no one had ever asked you to become anything else. That sounds a little different from you being the way you are because that is what you wish.
[she's just saying.]
...if you decide that already, and do not try to be happy - how can you know it is impossible? They say that the surest way to be certain something will not happen is to not try it at all.
Who says I never tried? Why do you think I killed my half brother? [He did say, assuming Flayn overheard, that he killed his brother to see if his father would pay attention to him then.]
Not that. But if my father had decided to pay attention to his other son after losing the one he had... [Then maybe Ogata could have been happy like everyone else. The way Yuusaku had been. Ogata's hand rises to his head.]
But I know now it was stupid of me to think someone like me could get what I want.
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fishingforcompliments) wrote2020-06-07 04:32 pm
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[She comes closer to the jail cell's door, then slips the bowl of rice and the cup of tea through it.]
...I know you likely do not have much of an appetite, after everything. But you should eat something nonetheless.
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Actually, Sanji already came in here earlier to prepare a "last meal" for me.
[But white rice is a fucking rare treat for his time so he's not going to just sit here and NOT eat it like damn.]
What's the other reason you're here, then?
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...I wanted to ask a favor of you... although I know I have no right to ask it.
[She takes a breath.]
I know you must be very angry about what happened. But I still intend to find a way out for everyone, including those that we lost. So... you saw the notes that some of the others received at trial, did you not?
...depending on how tomorrow goes - if you end up... [Her breath catches. She doesn't want to say dying, but, what else can she say?] ...if you do end up dying... And if there is something on the other side...
Please write to me if you discover anything of note. Particularly if it contradicts the information that was shared earlier in the week.
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Of course. I'll do what I can. If I have to die for such a stupid reason, then I'd rather like to see you hit whatever it is that's responsible for all this in the face.
[As if he needs a reason to watch Flayn beat people up.]
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[double yikes.]
...but... thank you.
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You don't need to thank me. I'm not doing it because I care about you.
[Why does he insist on being like this.]
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You're learning.
[He's proud, maybe.]
I'd much rather die back home at Sugimoto's hands than here from whoever they arbitrarily decide has to kill me.
[Hey Ogata? Can you chill.]
*from not form...
[SIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHS.]
Or you could go back home and not die at all. That also ought to be an option.
wow i didnt even notice
Aught to be? Maybe. But that decision is out of my hands. Even if I try to fight him off, I'm not going to be able to. He's much stronger than me.
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Fine. Will you drop it if I tell you I'll try?
[CLEARLY JUST TRYING TO APPEASE HER.]
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[as if she would be able to tell.]
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Then I won’t say it.
[Wow.
He leans forward, then, hands clasping the bars of the cell as he fixes Flayn with his full attention, eyes dark, intent, as if challenging her to look at him plainly.]
What’s the point, Flayn? All I’ve ever existed to do is shoot people. To cause problems and make people mad. It’s not a question of live or die. It’s only a question of which man is going to finally kill me. That’s why it doesn’t matter there. That’s why it doesn’t matter here. I was never going to get one of your happy endings.
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...have you ever striven to be something more than a man who shoots people? Or is that all you have allowed yourself to do because that is the sort of man you are convinced you are destined to be?
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I don't believe in destiny. This is just all anyone has ever asked me to be.
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Is that so? Then I am formally asking you to be something else, starting now!
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What-
I hope you know how childish you sound. What, exactly, do you expect me to be instead, and don't you think it's far too late now?
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[...]
I do not know exactly what I expect you to be. But I would ask that you think about what you would like to become.
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And what if this is all I want to be?
[He can say it with ease because he's never thought about being anything else. That's not really a matter of want, of course. Wanting to be something else? He's really not sure. The things he's wanted have always been abstract and unattainable. Certainly not anything he could accomplish by sheer force of will. He looks away from Flayn.]
It's not possible for someone like me to be happy, I think.
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[she's just saying.]
...if you decide that already, and do not try to be happy - how can you know it is impossible? They say that the surest way to be certain something will not happen is to not try it at all.
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Who says I never tried? Why do you think I killed my half brother?
[He did say, assuming Flayn overheard, that he killed his brother to see if his father would pay attention to him then.]
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[okay, but.]
Is murder really something you believe would have made you happy? Because from the story you told, it did not really... seem that way.
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[Then maybe Ogata could have been happy like everyone else. The way Yuusaku had been. Ogata's hand rises to his head.]
But I know now it was stupid of me to think someone like me could get what I want.
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his father kind of sounded like a shitty person so, like, flayn isn't all that sure it would have made him happy? but anyway.]
This is not over yet, Ogata. We came back from the dead once before. Even if you are executed tomorrow, you may very well come back again.
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