[her voice trails off. she seems to be struggling to find the words for a moment - and then she just shakes her head.]
...because I have to be. If I allow myself to believe, even for a moment, that we will not find a way out of this... I know I shall be too paralyzed by fear to do what must be done.
It does not have to be a trade. I shall tell you mine, but you do not need to tell me anything at all.
[...it's probably fine. she hasn't told many people her power this week - just two. it's the end of the week. she... can say, now, can't she?]
I am on the blue team. [...] My power is to... [her voice trails off. oh. oh, she just, uh, remembered something. but she forges on.] ...it is to make two to three people fall in love with each other.
[no one is giving her as much crap for this as she feel she deserves, and honestly? it just sort of makes her feel guilty. luckily, it's still icly memshare week, and not emotionshare week, because beau doesn't need to deal with her guilt on top of everything else.]
I had used it on myself the week before... the only difference I noticed in myself was that I felt... happier, and more relaxed, around the other person. And it did not seem as though any of you noticed what was going on, either. So I thought that it would be safe to use, and that it would bring the two of them at least a little happiness.
[...]
I know now it was foolish - people feel things differently, and react to those feelings differently.
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[her voice trails off. she seems to be struggling to find the words for a moment - and then she just shakes her head.]
...because I have to be. If I allow myself to believe, even for a moment, that we will not find a way out of this... I know I shall be too paralyzed by fear to do what must be done.
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I'm glad you have the energy, still.
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...I wish I could lend some of it to you.
[she really would like to help beau through this - she just doesn't know how. it's awful, having lost someone you love. she knows that.]
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You're sweet. [ she says, with a slow sigh. ] I'll make it. I promised.
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...I know you will, but...
[she doesn't want beau to suffer more than she already has, while she's making it.]
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I just have to play the game, right? [ she says, watching her. ] If I play the game, I can get him back. Hunter. A-Sang. All of them.
If I tell you my team and power, would you trade with me?
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It does not have to be a trade. I shall tell you mine, but you do not need to tell me anything at all.
[...it's probably fine. she hasn't told many people her power this week - just two. it's the end of the week. she... can say, now, can't she?]
I am on the blue team. [...] My power is to... [her voice trails off. oh. oh, she just, uh, remembered something. but she forges on.] ...it is to make two to three people fall in love with each other.
[...]
You can punch me. If you want.
[she remembers that threat.]
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... I'm not going to punch you.
[ but a lot of things make sense. ]
I hope you apologized to Asch.
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I did. I apologized to Zenitsu, as well. They both forgave me - although I am not sure that they should have.
[...]
I was not intending to hurt either one of them, but the fact remains that it happened.
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I'm surprised Asch did. But Zenitsu isn't surprising at all.
You didn't mean to. [ beau knows that much. ] I don't blame you as much as I blame everybody for egging them on.
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[no one is giving her as much crap for this as she feel she deserves, and honestly? it just sort of makes her feel guilty. luckily, it's still icly memshare week, and not emotionshare week, because beau doesn't need to deal with her guilt on top of everything else.]
I had used it on myself the week before... the only difference I noticed in myself was that I felt... happier, and more relaxed, around the other person. And it did not seem as though any of you noticed what was going on, either. So I thought that it would be safe to use, and that it would bring the two of them at least a little happiness.
[...]
I know now it was foolish - people feel things differently, and react to those feelings differently.
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You didn't know, but now you do. [ she pauses. ] Maybe you could use it on me this week. Gods know I could use happiness and relaxation.
[ it's only half a joke. ]
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...but it would hurt more once it wore off, would it not?
[flayn has unintentionally hurt people while trying to help twice already. she doesn't want to do it again.]
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Not for me, I think. [ sniff. ] I guess it's not as easy to say that about the other person.
But I'd be okay.
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[...]
But... It would be nice, I think, if I were able to bring you some relaxation and happiness without the use of my power, as well.
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You do. Don't worry about that. I'm glad you came to sit with me, Flayn.
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...I am glad that you allowed me to keep you company. Thank you, Beau.